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He was so happy about the baby. But will he still be there for me now that he's moved on? I can't let go of him.

Tagged as: Breaking up, Faded love, Pregnancy, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 December 2012) 2 Answers - (Newest, 15 December 2012)
A female South Africa age 30-35, *eoligans writes:


I'm new in this thing.

Five months pregnant, my bf of 5years just broke up with me.

When this happened I found some msgs in his phone to another gal telling her he wants to sleep with her, I confronted him about it he admitted it.

And I apologised because I was too hurt and disappointed.

I packed my bags and left went back home.

He begged me he was crying.

I really wanted to forgive him but I was just too angry.

I left for a week we talked in a phone and when I came back he told me he wants a break after because we have been fighting a lot and he thinks the relationship is suffocating him.

I wasn't sure and I asked if he’s breaking up with me.

He said no. We talked about the fact we didn’t understand each other during the break thing.

Then he said it’s over I should move on.

He said he would do the same.

He said he will always be there for the baby annd he wants us to be friends and nothing more.

I still love him so much n I want to work things out n he tells me we will never work out I told him about the baby sex n he was so happy. I don’t know what to do I can’t b friends with him because it seems as though he has moved on with his life please help

What should I do?.

View related questions: a break, broke up, move on

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A male reader, no nonsense Aidan United Kingdom +, writes (15 December 2012):

Tell him it’s too difficult for you to be just friends and that other than having essential contact over the baby, you think it’s best you keep your distance. That’s tough, and you’ll probably struggle a great deal to say it, but you have to find the strength to do that because otherwise you’re just going to keep living in hope for something that’s never going to happen. He will probably make a great father and you will need to work out access to the baby but you have to separate yourselves as parents from yourselves as partners, which you are no longer. There is unfortunately no way back for this relationship so distance is the key to helping you move on, as is lots of support from the people around you.

I wish you all the very best.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland + , writes (9 December 2012):

aunt honesty agony auntThis is such a terrible situation for you to be in I am so sorry. But he has made up his mind and you need to accept that. It makes it so much more harder for you because you are pregnant and probably vulnerable but you need to stay strong for your baby. You are right it will be hard to be friends with him and you do not need to be friends with him, you need time and space away from him to move forward. Allow him to be there to be a father to your baby when the baby is born but have that separate from your relationship. It will be difficult but in time you will move forward, yes all break ups are hard, but concentrate on the little baby in your belly and stay from for him or her.

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