A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have been married 4 times the longest 18 years and the shortest 2weeks...I have been celibate for 3 years. What I have learned is that marriage hurts and I don't know how to be married. I know I was a good mother. But as for being a wife I didn't know how to be a wife. The men I choosed were abusive and didn't want you to stand up to them. I tried to spend more time, less time, cook more, make love more, you name it I tried but I never wanted or saw forever with them. So now I am alone and meeting and dating once again and I still either don't want to have sex, don't believe a word they say or I sense they are abuisers. (violent to some extent) so do I give up and live alone or do I believe there's a great guy out there for me? I know how to be alone and frankly if it was not for the economy I would be somewhat happier than being with someone just to have someone. I want passionate sex and to really feel love from the heart and mind. But I don't know how to began and believe again I think this time I know logically being in love is over for me.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2012): You just need to learn how to identify toxic and abusive men and learn how not to fall into their traps.
A
female
reader, ConfusedAnna +, writes (9 December 2012):
If you have tried everything to make these marriages work then it is not you, the men are the problem.. I think you should change the type of men that you like, try to date men that are very different from your ex husbands.. Try not to have sex with them early and ensure that the men you date adores you. Asks the right questions to ensure that they aren't abusive or too aggressiveness, ensure they respect you and that they like you for who you are. Don't give up on trying to find a companion, I know you want someone to love and comfort you that you will grow very very very old with..
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A
female
reader, ConfusedAnna +, writes (9 December 2012):
If you have tried everything to make these marriages work then it is not you, the men are the problem.. I think you should change the type of men that you like, try to date men that are very different from your ex husbands.. Try not to have sex with them early and ensure that the men you date adores you. Asks the right questions to ensure that they aren't abusive or too aggressiveness, ensure they respect you and that they like you for who you are. Don't give up on trying to find a companion, I know you want someone to love and comfort you that you will grow very very very old with..
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (8 December 2012):
 Well first off it is okay to be alone, some people do prefer that, and you do not need to be in a relationship to be happy. But I feel that you have had so much bad experience with men in your life that your trust has just completely gone, you feel that all men are going to be abusive and hurt you mentally but that is just not the case. I know it is easy for me to say that when it is all you have experienced out of life. But I think you need to take a risk in life and I don't think you should give up on finding a man for yourself.
Am sure there are plenty of men out there suited to you and what you are looking for. If you try to be a little bit more open minded and don't compare them to your past experiences you might actually just find that the perfect man is out there for you. Therefore go on dates, enjoy your life and make the most of it.
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