A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay, there's a guy I really like. He's 17 and I've known him for a while. We're really good friends, but he wants to have sex with me. Should I agree to it? I'm kind of nervous, but how can I reject him? I don't want him to hate me as a friend...It's scary because I'm still a virgin and he doesn't know that. He hinted that if I was he wouldn't care, but I do! I don't want to sound harsh, or anything. He said he would use a condom, but I'm worried he's still a virgin too, because that means he has no experience. I would really like help, please? I'm scared and he expects an answer within a few days.
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condom, still a virgin Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Skeez  +, writes (11 December 2008):
 Hello sweety.
From your post my answer is that you should tell him no.
He isnt your boyfriend, and hes just a guy that is probably at your school and seeing hes a 17 year old, hes probably going through puberty and all that malarkey. And hes interested in having sex. Best thing to do is tell him that you are not ready and dont want to do it with him. Simple as that. If he doesnt except it then good ridance to him. Im sure you wouldnt like a friend like him in your life. At your age you should be consentrating on hanging with your friends, your education and just enjoying your young teenage life. Im all up for dating at your age and relationships If you can handle it. But remember Its illegal for you to have sex with him and to have sex with anyone until your over age consent in your country. If you do decide to go ahead with it and after, you have regrets and tell someone, he could get in serious serious trouble for that and possibly a jail sentence.
Dont go down this troublesome road unless your 100& sure you want this. Any doubts is a sign that your not ready.
I hope you choose the right decision for yourself
Goodluck x x x
A
male
reader, a_decent_1  +, writes (11 December 2008):
 WHAT.? Come on sweety.. He's not even your boy friend.. FRIENDS DON'T HAVE SEX.. Instead of him, you should be the one to put an END to your friendship.. Don't spoil the name of friendship please..
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A
female
reader, xxidkxx +, writes (11 December 2008):
 hey,
i think you should wait tell you ready.
its not hard to say no.
you shouldnt do anything your ganna regret.
i no how it is to wanna do something because the guy wants to or because hes like hella hot and you just wanna throw him dont and do it xD
im not like so 40 yearold telling you to wait, im only 15. and i did it. and itd not that cracked up as you would think.
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A
female
reader, Twilight#1 +, writes (11 December 2008):
 Your virginity is a big deal! You don't want to loose it just to any guy. You want to loose it to someone you LOVE and TRUST. He might be a good friend but do you love him, does he love you? Answers you need not fall short of when deciding if your going to have sex. Having sex with someone you love will have greater meaning then to have done it with someone you're not sure of. If your nervous about having sex with your friend then don't do it. Tell him simply "I'm not ready, I want to wait a while" and if he is a man worth continuing a relationship with he'll understand that, if not then he is a waste of time.
Just because he said he would use a condom does not make him a virgin, it makes him smart, and he is also using a method of manipulation to get you in bed.
If you do decide in the end that you want to have sex with him, please oh please use a condom and think twice or thrice before doing it.
You have all the time in the world to find someone to love... don't waste something so precious on just 'a good friend' but the man you love with all your heart!
Hope you make the right decision... this is YOUR decision not anyone else's decision.....
Hope I helped
Christine ^.^
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A
female
reader, mrs.ktty +, writes (11 December 2008):
you need to be straight up with him and tell him that ur not ready if u lose him as a friend then u realize that he never was one in thee first place, also hes 17yrs old i think hes just doing this because ur young and he thinks ur naive and wont be able to reject him, he probably wants to take advantage. dont play into his game, u should wait and find someone u love and who loves u back. remember once u give it up theres no getting it back.
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A
female
reader, candyluvsu01 +, writes (11 December 2008):
 no means no and if he doesnt like it then hes not your friend.....you shouldnt have sex if your no in love eather....but thats your choice not mine.
if he really cares about you then he'll understand that your just not ready.
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A
female
reader, batfink +, writes (11 December 2008):
Your age states that you are 13-15, which means that you are legally below the age of consent anyway. I know that this may not mean a lot in this day and age but you have to also consider the legal implications as well as whether you really feel that this is the right choice for you. from your post I'd say you're not sure about having sex with him anyway. So I'd say wait. You also ssay he's a friend and not a boyfriend or anyone special to you. Don't have sex with him just to gain his approval or to keep him as a friend. If he's really a friend he will understand that the time isn't right and that you want to save yourself for someone special.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2008): if you really have feelings for him do what you think is right. Remember u want your first time to be special so you want to make sure he's the right guy.
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A
female
reader, Plexi  +, writes (11 December 2008):
 Get to know him better, stay friends and in a few years from now......if you really like each other the.......maybe.
Tell him you like him as a friend and you don't want to lose him as a friend but you feel you are far too young for sex just yet and that you hope he respects you and understands where you are coming from.
I really is true that you never forget your first time so please make sure it's special and we someone that you care for and cares for you.
Good luck hun, i hope this helps:)let us know how it goes
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A
female
reader, mz_lani1 +, writes (11 December 2008):
 Baby-
U dont have to do what u dont want to do..Its up to u to tell him that u are not ready..I know its scary..Ive been there, done that..
If he was ur real friend he wouldnt have expected u to give him an answer within a few days, and if he is a real friend, he will respect ur answer..
Even if he says that u both will use a condom, a condom always doesnt appear to work all the time..Dont be scared..be calm about it wen u tell him ur answer..
Good Luck and Happy Holidays.
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A
female
reader, leeannavonda  +, writes (11 December 2008):
do not let anyone push you into having sex just tell no. if he really is your friend will respect your answer. save your purity for someone you lova and really want to be intamate with rather then just giving it up to your "friend"
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