A
female
age
41-50,
*3kiss
writes:My boyfriend wakes me up in the middle of the night to have sex. He pokes me so I can wake up. He does not perform foreplay ever, and I have to get him aroused. Then I must get on top and do all the work, always. I'm really tired of this. He doesn't perform oral sex on me. When I ask he says that I should wait for him to do it. It has been more than 5 months. How do I approach him without him getting offended?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2007): This may sound harsh I but I would tell him to go and have a wank and leave you alone.
A
female
reader, YummyMummy  +, writes (17 July 2007):
 If I'm tired and not in the mood I wouldn't do it. Sorry that sounds harsh but why should you if you were happily asleep be woken up to do all the work when it was him who was in the mood in the first place?!
Just tealk to him and explain how you feel. If it doesn't sink in then next time he tries poking you awake, don't wake up and pretend sleep. I did that with my ex as he liked sex in the middle of the night every night and it did my head in. I didn't mind some nights.
xxxxxxxxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2007): I 'm assuming you aren't as concerned about the timing of the sex but more so, about the 'quality'? Do you have sex at other times? Is there is foreplay and romance in those sessions? Hun, sex is wonderful and amazing and should be looked on as something to be shared and enjoyed between two people, not simply as a 'service' provided by you to him, in the middle of the night.. The both of you need to find a common solution that makes you both happy because I am seeing a man here, who desires, craves you, but his technique is showing a very selfish side of him. He obviously gets very stimulated in his sleep and tends to want to satisfy his own urge without much thought to satisfying you. It's like he feels entitled to get his orgasm and it's up to you give that to him! This is very uncaring. So why on earth are you worrying about offending him, just sit him down and tell him, "The night time sessions leave me, unsatisfied. I need more foreplay and mutual giving from you. Let's work towards satisfying each other" See how he reacts to that. If he reacts badly, that behavior should tell you a bit about his character. So plain and simple. Tell him clearly what you want. Relationships are about being honest and truthful so let him know that this bothering you. Good luck
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A
female
reader, BEEN THERE DONE IT +, writes (17 July 2007):
 Hi there babes,
Well, what a selfish so an so(and thats polite),if this has been going on for 5 months then trust me your more of a woman than I am I can tell ya...
Whats his name Henry the eigth, it is the 21 st century hun, sex is about two people not one......
You just tell him nest time he pokes ya your not getting on top he is and he will be pleasing you or its sew ya nickers to ya vest time...ha ha ha
All jokes aside now you really have to have a chat with him tell him how he is making you feel you have feelings too and you also want pleasure in the bedroom....
If al else fails the try the frying pan like eyeswideopen has mentioned that made me laugh bet it has you too,
Chin up girlie us girls stick together get your pleasure too
Love Donna xx
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (17 July 2007):
 This is the reason I keep a caste iron frying pan next to MY bed. Offended my ass, I'd tell the guy in no uncertain terms that you do not appreciate the midnight romps especially if you have already fallen to sleep AND then have to do all the work. If he gets offended he's an insensitive dope. If after you tell him and he tries it again, use the frying pan. Some men have to be trained the hard way.
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (17 July 2007):
 I would tell him i would wait for him to do it,but i would be in the other bed.
Maybe then when he has no one to wake up in the middle of the night to please him he will realise just how selfish he has been.
Take care.xx.
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (17 July 2007):
 It sounds to me like he has bit of an issue. 99% of the people in the world, who are past the stage of infatuation in a relationship, would not be impressed if they were woken up to perform sex. It's not too cute after a while. It would seem to me that this guy has something on his mind. Most people don't do this on a regular basis. Does he have some other issues or something to prove?
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (17 July 2007):
 Kenny has given a very good opinion. He seems to need to pay more attention to what you need. You know, this is part of being in a relationship. Seems to me he has a one-sided idea of what a relationship should be.
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A
male
reader, kenny + ♥, writes (17 July 2007):
 I don't you think you should be worried about offending him here, this is something that has got to be brought up. He is getting sexual feelings in the middle of the night, then pokes you to get you up, then expects you to do all the work. I think he is being somewhat selfish regarding your sexual needs. This has now been going on for five months, so the likellhood of anything changing anytime soon is somewhat remote.
Talk to him sooner rather than later, and just tell him that you have sexual needs also, and that is not all about his sexual satisfaction.
All the best x
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