A
female
age
36-40,
*lapure4
writes:Dear Cupid, I'm in the middle of a dilemma. My ex-boyfriend and I have maintained contact on and off for three years. He now lives just a state over from me, which brings us a little closer and has asked (since relocating) if I'd come to visit him. Being that it's been over three years since we broke up over long distance relations, I am hesitant about visiting or seeing him at all. So much time has past that I have grown since we've been apart. Both he and I have been in other relationships and I don't want to feel like I'm backtracking to someone I used to date. Whenever we talk, emotions erupt and I find myself in a dilemma to want to see him again. When we initially chose to date, it resulted in him moving to my state to make things work, only for him to leave within a two year span. Our sole reason for breaking up was due to long distance, which makes it hard because deep down I still do love and care for him. Whenever I speak to him on the phone, the feelings between he and I are intense because he expects that if we are to finally be together, I should be able to make the sacrifice for him. But is it really worth it? I don't want to backtrack for a guy I used to date nor do I want to disappoint others for making such a rash decision. I've been trying to figure out what it is I want: either to visit him or cast him out as an old flame. Please help!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (6 January 2013):
 Why did he leave after moving to be with you? You said you broke up due to the distance, but if he moved, then the distance wasn't the issue?
If he was willing to move for you, why is it that you don't feel comfortable making the move for him?
Why would you be disappointing others if you move?
Why are you using the word 'rash' to describe the decision making process?
More information would be helpful, honestly, in providing input into your dilemma.
If he had moved and you two were so compatible, why did the relationship end?
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