A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:On Monday Fourth of July, I sent my bf of 8mths. a text saying I was drinking at a friends house and that her bf was there. So my bf thought right away that I was cheating that I was with a friend of my friends bf. But the thing is it was a joke I lied I didnt even go out on fourth of july. I also sent him a text saying I dont want sex anymore until I get married or until I find the right one. And he took "the right one"as like these 8mths. I was playing with him until I found a new person.that was also a joke I just wanted to see what he would say. Well he took it as like i dumped him.But i didnt even know we had broken up because i never used the words"its over" until saturday I found out. Because when i sent him those messages he never replied. So the next say i felt bad i had lied so i told him to ignore all the messages i had sent him. He didnt reply so the next day i texted him hey babe.n still no answer so i was mad 2 days my bf not texting me back. So for a whole week we didnt talk I thought it was just something else little did i know he thought i dumped him and he left the state. I begged him said sorry so many times and told him everything was a joke. He says he doesnt care that it was a joke that i dumped him and that were never getting back together. He said hes never gonna forgive me and that hes not coming back to california because he left to washington. I text him saying im sorry to forgive me that i learned my lessong ill never send messages like that again to him.but he doesnt reply he just doesnt want to talk about it.he told me to not call or text to just forget about him.but i cant because it was all a misunderstanding i never broke up with him he took the messages the wrong way.what should i do give him time or just move on?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2011): Err...my guess is that this isnt the first time you were "joking" around with him. Maybe he got tired of trying to decipher whether or not you were kidding and just decided enough was enough.
I have known girls that have done this plenty. They want their boyfriends to be so jealous and sprung over them that they constantly create the illusion that they are cheating or the object of every males desire. The end result is that the constant game playing gets to the boyfriend/husband/SO/mate, and so they just move on. Its tiresome to them, and it gets old, and it gets to the point that all of your other redeeming qualities arent even worth it anymore to stick around.
Lesson learned I hope?
A
female
reader, hannah76  +, writes (13 July 2011):
 Let it go now. He was probably tired of things and these texts helped him make the move. Let him go yourself now and move along.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (13 July 2011):
 i would dump your ass too. lesson learned: don't try to say hurtful things to your boyfriend to get a rise out of him to gauge how much he loves you. never a good idea.
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A
female
reader, SweetSmoochy +, writes (13 July 2011):
 Let it go. Both of you are obviously tired of the relationship, which you mentioned was long distance. You've learned a lesson, so, take it with you into your next relationship, and don't make stupid mistakes again.
Try once more to apologize, then leave it at that. Stop trying to drag this back together if it isn't meant to be.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (13 July 2011):
 It wasn't a misunderstanding. It was a cruel 'joke' designed to push him to react. What did you think he'd do? What were you hoping to accomplish?
It sounds like he's not willing to stick around to see what 'joke' you'd come up with next.
My guess is that something inside you wasn't happy with the relationship and so you sabotaged it. You disguised it as a funny prank but the effect you were secretly hoping for was that he'd leave you.
He took you up on that. People dislike being manipulated, made fun of, mocked, played for a fool... would you like it if he'd done something like that to you?
The other obvious point is that texting can be a really bad way to communicate. There's no voice to listen for tone, no body language to read. All there are are little words on a screen. And if someone doesn't read it the way you've intended... well, it's a problem.
Maybe you need to be a bit clearer as to why you set him up to be angry with you?
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (13 July 2011):
 Why would you say something like that over text? There's no way to tell someone is kidding or being sarcastic over text. Everything you say is taken exactly at face value. If I got a text like that from my partner I would assume he was cheating on me and the relationship would be over. I don't know if I would ever be able to trust that he was "joking" after the texts were sent.
You can try to CALMLY explain what happened, but at this point I really don't see how someone can get past that. Why did you think that would be a good idea or think it would be funny to make your boyfriend think you were cheating on him?
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