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He left me to have a good time with his ex, and now that she's out, he wants me back again!

Tagged as: Big Questions, Breaking up, Cheating, Dating, The ex-factor, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 January 2011) 1 Answers - (Newest, 31 January 2011)
A female United States age 26-29, *all3rbby writes:

I've had many trust issues with my boyfriend. Most with his ex girlfriend. Many issues in general, including:

When they first broke up he started talking to me a couple weeks after.. then we started 'talking'. Before I left for Mexico in the summer I looked in his phone.. saw a picture of another girl, and some girl from his 'driving school'. His ex was still obsessed with him.. wore his clothes to bed and stuff so I got pretty mad.. saw them walking in the hallway sometimes and heard rumors all the time, most that she was spreading about how when we first started dating he cheated on me with her. I didn't believe it.. got mad at her. She wore his shirt to school one day and said 'I didnt have time to get ready so I came in what I slept in'. Another day she wore his grandpas necklace that he said she wouldn't give back. Homecoming I looked through his phone.. he was texting his ex again! About how he didn't wanna go to dinner with me and my friends and 'wake me up from this nightmare' .. and they sent ';)' a lot to each other. Halloween he spent the night, I looked through his phone againn.. found pictures of 3 girls. Including his ex. (Not bad pictures) but yeah, he told me he'd leave me if I ever sent a picture to another guy he'd leave me. Oh and he got the picture from his ex girlfriend on 10/22..which was our four months :). So we ended up breaking up because we weren't happy.. he left me like a week after my birthday

he started talking to his ex once again, then went back to me. I talked to his ex about a week before New Years

We found out he was talking to us both so we were both pissed. We had a plan that she would come over on New Years, and he was going to, too. Then she would answer my door and he'd be like... oh shit. but the plan failed because she invited him over to her friends, cried when he said he wanted to be with me, started kissing him, he asked her out then they dated for five hours.In that five hours she gave him a blow job and he gave her a hickey on her boob..-- all in her closet..

Nobody decided to tell me they even dated at all so I was pretty much all together screwed over..found out, was pissed, he started talking to my best friend about how much he missed me and would do anything to have me again, I fell for it, dated him again. -- Most recent time. Last Thursday at school, he was in the library, and so was his ex. As I heard, he walked over to her table, asked her to come sit with him. Didn't tell me about it at all..yesterday he got mad at me in lunch for no reason, went to the library and she was in there again. He realized I knew she was in there and came back. he said he didn't want me to be mad because she was in there so he came back.. after school I heard about all that him talking to her again and I know she's still obsesssed with him so I ended it.

Now, his ex girlfriend has a boyfriend! He wants to get back with me. I feel so stupid for letting him walk all over me. And then I think about the good times I've had with me, I love this kid! It's hard to move on, even though I know I probably should. He knows he messed up but claims he's changing. How dumb would I be to believe him? And if I did date him, how much of a relationship should I allow him to have with his ex? I don't want to control his life, i'm on his girlfriend. At the same time i'm tired of getting hurt.

Any suggestions?

View related questions: best friend, blow-job, broke up, cheated on me, ex girlfriend, has a boyfriend, his ex, kissing, move on, text

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2011):

Hi,

I understand what you are going through i lived with my boyfriend and actually found out he was cheating on me, i even got him a job with my uncle and he moved out without telling me i was stuck and had to move in with my mother. i was heart broken and had to move away.

I thought i wouldnt ever be able to get over him and that i lost my true love. it toke years before i met a guy i loved and loved me. and now i relise that i was young and that i didnt know that i would love someone more and that there would be another.

so chin up. you sound like an amaizing girl and seriouly you don't deserve treatment like that. I promise you will find someone else someone that deserves you and wont do what he did, I mean if he really loved you he wouldn't have done what he did, don't believe his lies even though he believes them. once a cheater always a cheater, think about it you will never trust him you will always have that doubt in your mind and its gonna eat at you.

why settle for second best, come on get up dust yourself off. be strong now i know you think you love him. just think about it like this, there is a better looking guy and better guy with an awesome personality waiting for you... so hurry up before he meets another! get rid of this loser and go get mr right

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