A
female
age
30-35,
*luestar
writes:My boyfriend and I have been going out for 5 months now, sex was fine at first however he started having trouble keeping an erection during sex after 3 months. However, foreplay is not a problem. I confronted him about the erection problem and he brushed it aside. We haven't had sex for 2 months now and I confronted him about that too but he brushed that aside as well. It has got to the point now where he won't even kiss me, touch me or hold me anymore. The little confidence I had has been crushed because of it and I feel so depressed and ugly now. Before whenever I saw him, afterwards I would be so happy I couldn't stop smiling but now after I see him I can't stop crying. What should I do?...
View related questions:
confidence, crush, depressed, erection, foreplay Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, sugarcandy  +, writes (9 November 2010):
He could be depressed. Depression affects not only his ability to keep an erection, but his desire to have sex, and his desire to be physically intimate at all (kissing etc.).
I would talk to him about it; tell him you won't keep letting it go.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2010): The penis's erection is not a dial indicator to show how sexually interested he is in you. It seems that way when guys are young but this is because the hormones are so overboard at that age. This is something that women all eventually have to come to understand as they get older. Mental arousal and physical response are not the same thing. It's possible to have one and not the other. It happens on a regular basis.
...............................
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (9 November 2010):
 hi ok i no that you are feeling down at the moment because you feel he might not be attracted to you anymore and doesnt want you, its totally normal to feel rejected when things like this happened, but have you stopped and asked him how he feels? Its highly unlikely that he couldnt get an erection because of you, so try and not worry as there is many reasons why a guy cant get an erection, and he probably brushed it off because he is embarresed as no guy likes this to happen to them, it has probably crushed his self asteem as much as yours if not more.
You need to sit down and talk to him, assure him that you dont care if he cant get an erection, just that you miss the intimate moments and closeness between the both of you and you want to get some of it back. I bet he misses it aswell its just his problems getting it up as probably scared him into getting close to you again in case he cant get an erection, and the stress of this will only make it harder for him to get it up therefore you need to reassure him that you dont mind if he cant get it up as long as you can both have fun and be as intimate as possible, this should make him feel comfortable and through time there should be no problem at all for him to get it up.
...............................
A
female
reader, es12 +, writes (9 November 2010):
Hi, yeh I understand where your coming from - but you should really think about what this is doing to his confidence as well as your own.
Confronting your bf might only make him feel worse about the situation - more thanlikely it has nothing to do with you as this guy isstill with you. It could be it happened once therefore everytime he tries again he's worried it's going to happen again. A vicious circle unfortunaly.
All you can do is be supportive abd let him know that it doesn't matter because they're plenty of other ways he can fufil your needs.
Just give him a break and don't put pressure on him because that's only going to make it worse.
Good Luck x
...............................
|
