A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend reformatted the computer so I lost all the pictures of the last two years of my children and very dear things to me. I tried to find other software I used and needed and nothing works. I need some private corner of my world to go to and express myself and just be me without someone else destroying it. At least when he reformatted it it got rid of his spyware.He is so controlling and it makes me crazy. It makes me depressed too. I want to be out of this because he is verbally abusive, and he constantly accuses me of things that not only I don't do, he actually DOES them!!! I feel like I have nowhere to go. Recently I pulled a Thelma and Louise and went to Florida for a weekend. I was approached a lot and just wasn't interested. There was even a time when a really hot guy said he would take us anywhere and do anything for fun, then he made a phone call, and suddenly, no lie, about eight other guys showed up and my gf and I were like Wow!. The guy tried to pull me to him and I just pushed him away because it's just habit; I don't roll like that. Then one by one all the guys kind of left. Then I got about three dozen emails from my boyfriend telling me I'm a sleaze and banging someone in Florida. So unfair that I am faithful and told I'm a whore. I love this man, but he is destroying my life with constant verbal abuse.I don't know where to go. He has me locked because he controls all the money. And I feel so hurt because he has a strong flirting history and is ashamed of me. He hides all of his data and communications and keeps me away from every aspect of his professional life so I'm sure he's macking women there too.Thanks for listening.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (24 June 2009):
 Save some money, even if you have to take a second job and just leave him. You are obviously very unhappy and there will always be something or other to pull you back but if you really can't stand it any longer then you will act and make it so.
You could try talking to him and see if things could be put right but sometimes there is just no point in fixing things. Your not married to him, so just leave and start again somewhere else...if you can't leave then just prepare yourself for feeling this way for the rest of your life...it's your call.
Aunty Em x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2009): Well, you are the only one who can change this. Get out permanently as he does sound abusive. You deserve better and you know that. You have the luxury of being single so what is keeping you tied to this guy?
What's love got to do with it? If he is abusive that is not love. He isn't going to change not for you.
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (24 June 2009):
 *hug* I am so sorry that you're in this situation. You're right that your boyfriend is controlling and abusive, and now I think it's time to develop a plan to get you away.
Do you have any friends or family that you can stay with, or who can help you rent an apartment? Can you set up a bank account that he doesn't know about and start putting some money there? Find out if your local police station is staffed 24 hours a day so you know you have somewhere safe to go if he gets violent.
For a detailed safety plan, check this website: http://www.aardvarc.org/dv/plan.shtml
Good luck and please keep us posted.
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A
female
reader, Ask Sarah +, writes (24 June 2009):
 hunny i have a little experience in this department my dad use to verbaily abuse me i know how it feels its not good when this was happing to me i use to go to a place near were i lived to get away and it give me time to think and be a peace iam not wat u call a spirtals but i do belive in good and bad dnt let urs self be controlled like this u need to break free and be ur self!!!!
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