A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Pls help! I've been with my fiancé for 3 and a half years.We have a 2 year old daughter togetherI found his profile on a dating site and it said last active 5 months ago and one of his pictures I took of him myself ! I confronted him about it and he said he was on dating websites since before he knew me and because he still gets email notifications from those websites he must have clicked through but meant nothing bad by it.I told him he has clearly edited his profile on this site since we met as he has used a photo I took of him myself from a year or so ago.It also says on his profile that he has a child so obviously he has changed that also! As his only child is our girl.There is no way he could have physically cheated on me as he never sleeps out and never Goes out for nights out. He always keeps in contact with me when he sees his friends or goes to work. But I guess maybe he is flirting online ??? Could this be an honest misunderstanding?He says he doesn't use them at all. And that it is linked to his Facebook so the photos update automatically, is this even possible ?He is very secretive about his phone. And when I confronted him he got very defensive and raising his voice but he does this anytime I bring up anything negative directed at him.Any advice welcome pls !
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2015): My ex did the same! Don't take any of his nonsense being all defensive and annoyed with you, don't let him feel like you are going crazy because you aren't.My friend found my ex on a dating site and he told me that it must have been from him clicking on emails like your partner is saying. It definitely does not update your photo from Facebook and it certainly wouldn't change the fact that he has a child.My ex then went on to say that somebody was setting him up, that he contacted the site saying that somebody was falsely using his information and they had to ask him for his credit card details etc to remove the account. Well I set up my own account to test out all these lies he was spouting and found out they do nothing of the sort. I contacted the site by email to say somebody was doing that to me and they immediately disabled it. So I suggest you set up a profile, don't have to use your own picture or details just test out what he's saying to you.It's not an honest misunderstanding. He's lying to you and you need to tell him there are consequences for being such a jerk. He may feel like he can chat up strangers. Well he should understand that there are probably many men besides him that would be interested in you!Don't fall for his lies. If he wants to sulk and get all defensive let him. Just ignore him and make him feel bad because that's what he deserves.
A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (14 December 2015):
 Be frank with him and in no uncertain terms make it very clear that you are not interested in half arsed explanation rather, for the sake of his family, only interested in having him delete the account in front of you. Once that is done I would strongly suggest that this is his once and only get out of jail free card concerning any sort of flirting or other wise. Should he get defensive point out just how guilty that makes him look. Either way Id be keeping my finger on the pulse. I seriously dont believe in pussy footing around with this crap- fact or fiction,nip it in the bud now.
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (14 December 2015):
To be honest I see no reason why he should still be on dating websites after all this time, and I would ask why he hasn't called time on this. He can mark them as spam and they should disappear from his inbox. I think it is entirely reasonable for you to ask why he is still getting these communications. Would he like it if you were receiving similar? There needs to be honesty here. You have a child. You aren't just at the start of a teenage romance.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2015): You don't have to be a Sherlock Holmes to deduce that he is still flirting online and maybe cheating too. You have several options in such cases. Either kick him out and start legal proceeding against him for child support, Give him a good trashing if you can, or accept the situation and stay put.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2015): An honest "misunderstanding" updated his profile details and picture? The answer very clearly is NO.
Don't be in denial about his actions or try to reason them out with such qualifications as misunderstandings.These are deliberate actions,done by him.
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