A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I've divorced my controlling husband after 20 years. I've met this man and he helped me while I went through my divorce. I know from start he is not right but he persuade me to give it a go as he is 16 years older than me. Two years on Im 51 and he is almost 70. We live in different houses. I dont find him attracted to me anymore. He is helpful around the house but is not a caring person. Should tell him straight and leave this relationship. Please advise.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (11 April 2012):
 if you are not happy then by all means end the relationship.
A
female
reader, ToHereKnowsWhen +, writes (11 April 2012):
 You have ended one relationship that didn't work and while it was ending, you became involved in another. That must have been difficult for you.
Yes, you should leave this relationship. Be direct with him. You appreciate him, you appreciate what he has done for you, but he is not right for you.
Get this in perspective: You're only 51. You have a lot of life ahead of you. Get on with it.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (11 April 2012):
 There are times in our lives when a person comes into our life for a reason. And after the issues are worked through we can become a changed person. In two years you have no doubt grown and changed. Divorcing your husband after twenty years must have been a huge upheaval in your life.
If it is not meant to be then it seems time for a truthful, considerate face to face talk with this man. Gently let him down. He may feel entitled for all the help he gave you.
You life in different homes. So you have a relationship but not the same as a relationship where you need to divide up possessions and memories.
It sounds like this relationship has run its course. Sad, yes.
But honesty (done with consideration and respect) is the best policy. Don’t trash his self-esteem by hurting him with any unkind criticism. It will hurt enough that the relationship is ending.
Maybe have someone in the next room while you tell him the bad news as he may not take it well.
But once you have revealed your feelings you will able to say good bye. Hope he takes it well and then re-start your own life in other directions
Best wishes with this. There will be tough moments. But it would be more damaging to try to hold on to a relationship that is not working...
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (11 April 2012):
 If you are not happy and dont see a future with this man then there is no point in continuing, it will only make it harder one day down the line when you do end up breaking up with him.
Dont stay with him because you feel guilty or because you feel obliged, it sounds like you were in an unhappy marriage for long enough so dont waste more time being unhappy with someone else.
If you want to leave then do it, dont waste his time or yours because if you leave then he is free to go on and meet someone who genuinely wants to be with him.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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