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He has stopped talking to me and I don't know why... What should I do? I still like him.

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 July 2009) 6 Answers - (Newest, 2 July 2009)
A female United States age 22-25, anonymous writes:

This is a really long question... Especially from a kentucky girl like me.. But please answer becuase I am soo heart broken over this :-(

Ok, so here it goes - I met this one girl named Dawn and she introduced me to her guy friend, Beckson. When I first met Beckson, I was instantly attracted to him. This introduction took place a couple of weeks ago and ever since then Beckson and I really hit it off.

We had great conversations and I really thought that we connected. We had a lot in common. We hung out more than several times a day. We played video games, listened to music and simply enjoyed each other's company. We also texted each other...at least thirty times a day. And when we went to the movies last week we held hands and cuddled.

After that things moved fast. The text messages we sent each other grew sexual. The innocent hand holding turned into fondeling and kissing. Eventually I couldn't stand all of the pent up sexual energy that was building up inside of me. I wanted Beckson, and Beckson wanted me. I had to make a move right away, simply becuase Beckson is moving to Utah in less than a month, for this internship. And so we agreed to sex, twice. After the second time we had sex, Beckson left my uncle's house right after he had an orgasm. He said that he felt dirty after coming. The day after we had sex, I texted him this: Hey Beckson are you doin alright?

The text i got back from him was confusing and rude.

It went like this: Oh Tia, i've got a lot on my mind right now, im going to keep to myself for a loong time.

At first I thought Beckson was just having a bad day, so I left him alone for awhile. After that I didn't hear from him for four days. Frustrated, I then asked Dawn if she could talk to Beckson for me.

This is what i told Dawn: Hey Dawn can you ask Beckson what's wrong? He hasn't spoken to me in like four days.

Dawn talked to Beckson and texted me right after she asked the question.

The text message from Dawn read: Hey Tia, Beckson didn't really want to talk about it. Oh and he thinks you're crazy.

After I got her message I became so angry. I immediately responded to her text and I told her to tell Beckson that I thought he was an A**hole.

Ever since that text message I haven't heard fom either Beckson or Dawn. And it is really upsetting me. I still have feelings for Beckson but now he thinks that i am crazy..Beckson just stopped talking to me right after we had sex...and i don't know why.

I know the relationship moved a bit too fast (it all happened in two weeks), but he told me that he wouldn't just dump me to the side after sex. He promised!

And now I am afraid that he did just that. We haven't spoken in forver and it's making me really sad. Why has he stopped talking to me? Did I do something wrong? I thought we had relationship potential...what should I do??? I still have feelings for this guy.

View related questions: kissing, orgasm, text, video games

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2009):

thankyou. I appreciate all the answers. Unfortunately i am still heart broken, but i am sure i will get over it.

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A female reader, Alisa United States +, writes (2 July 2009):

Sorry sweetie, that this happened to you. I just been dumped too and the guy left town I haven't heard from him since. It sounds like he is seeing your girlfriend. You are not crazy. You just wanted answers. People who do things like this are twisted. You seem to be a nice girl. Just be careful the next time you meet a guy. Don't meet a guy thru your friends. Something goes wrong,everyone knows your business. Move on. Trust me he will be looking for you, when your girlfriend played herself out. Just don't take him back. I know that you are hurt, and the pain feels bad, but believe each day it subsides.

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A female reader, Hersong United States +, writes (2 July 2009):

I understand you had sexual desire and that is really hard to deal with but having sex before you know where a relationship is going is a really bad idea! This is why. If you get the chance to I'd tell him you were sorry that things moved too fast and that you still care and would like to start over, be friends only and just talk every so often and that's it. If he says no there's nothing you can do for now. I think he may need to think things through. Sex may bring instant pleasure but it is not good for a caring relationship, cause it brings everything to a much lower level. Just be there for him is all I can say. Tell him you know you're not crazy too, cause you know he's just playing that card that guys always do to get out fast.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States + , writes (2 July 2009):

Tisha-1 agony auntOuch. That hurts. He's definitely not interested, and he actually told your friend he thought you were crazy. Not good.

Honestly, I don't know why he abruptly changed. Maybe he just didn't feel it with you and is too much of a coward or a jerk to let you down easy, rather than simply ignoring you.

I'm sorry, but I think you've probably had all the closure you're going to get from him. Not a class act, this guy. He's moving to Utah and probably has focused on that and the major changes that are coming to his life.

Do yourself a favor, and treat yourself extra specially nicely; pamper you and find lots of things to do with people who really love you! That's to distract you and to make sure you know you are valued by people. Move on from Beckson; who knows, maybe he'll figure out he was a jerk someday. Do not put your life on hold for him, no matter how cute and nice he seemed at first.

Good luck!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2009):

you deserve better forget him and be with a guy who doesnt just want sex.

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A female reader, Renee okc United States +, writes (2 July 2009):

Honey just face it is probably doesnt want to get attached especially if he is moving out of state you need to just deal with the fact that maybe something is wrong with him he couldnt be a man and just say hey dude i got alot going on right now so i will talk to you when i can, I am confused as to why your girl friend isnt speaking with you anymore but you dont need people like this in your life and apparently they arent true friends if they treat you like this please try to chalk it up to lesson learned and move on you deserve it. If they think your crazyi then so be it just give them one final text and let them know they have done you wrong and you will not be contacting them anymore they are probably having a laugh at your expense and let it end at that because i agree with you something is wrong but what who knows

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