A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been in a relationship for 12 years. I'm wondering if my boyfriend is having an emotional affair. he has a friend of the opposite sex. he tells me about her. i've met her but, she won't speak to me. she said she gets along better with guys. he speaks with her about our relationship. he tells her our problems. this is what i am uncomfortable with the most. it hurts. i've told him this but he still does it and, the thing i question about it is the fact that he tells me about it. he has talked with her without telling me a few times (i'm ashamed to say i snuck peeks at his phone)but, he tells me 98 percent of the time so, is this an emotional affair? i'm feeling really upset about it and want our problems to stay in our relationship.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks you guys for your responses. Sometimes, I think my feelings are not justified and, I question myself often. So, these have been very helpful. Haven't spoken with him yet.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2009): nip this now. the longer it contines the harder it will be to break this connection they both have. you have read all the emotional affairs stories here, you know how devastating it is. so don't be a victim of this and do everyhting in your power to kill off this relationship. slowly 3 people are being intertwined into this relationship. and its time to remove the threat. but it is your bf who has to weane himself off this woman. you need to become his emotional rock and you need to start this process now. you do not want his emotional needs being met by any one else but you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2009): nip this now. the longer it continues the harder it will be to break this connection they both have. you have read all the emotional affairs stories here, you know how devastating it is. so don't be a victim of this and do everyhting in your power to kill off this relationship. slowly 3 people are being intertwined into this relationship. and its time to remove the threat. but it is your bf who has to weane himself off this woman. you need to become his emotional rock and you need to start this process now. you do not want his emotional needs being met by any one else but you.
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A
male
reader, Your friend  +, writes (2 July 2009):
 He has made an emotional connection which appears to be ok at the moment because he is telling you so much. You need to tell him again how important it is to you that he doesn't discuss your relationship at all. You need to speak to him quietly but also be firm maintaining strong eye contact, face him but don't touch him the physical disconnection will also help to make your message clear. After this just monitor him, what he is saying how animated he is when talking about her etc this will give you any clues that might mean a closer relationship later which by the way isn't necessarily going to be the case so don't get panicky.
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A
female
reader, Renee okc +, writes (2 July 2009):
You have let things go to far already you should have nip this in the bud for him to introduce you and she not even bother to have a casual conversation with you is just dumb. You cant tell him who to be friends with but if you are hurt he should respect your feeling and stop telling this lady your business talk with him and if you dont get anywhere then put your foot down and start making demands and if that doesnt work then tell her that you dont want her talking to your man about intimate issues.
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