A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I got back with my boyfriend two months ago after breaking up with him due to are relationship just being a real mess.We broke up for about a month before getting back together but during that month we both made mistakes and just moved on too quickly with other people hoping to forget about each other- it didn't work-I ended up getting in a relationship with his cousin (i know it was wrong) at the time his cousin fed me a lot of lies about my boyfriend, telling me how he had said stuff about me in the past, and how he never cared etc. I did acutally have feelings for his cousin at the time, and tbh i didn't stop to think that they were related at any point, and from what his cousin told me, they had never been close in anyway. Anyway, i was with his cousin for about a month or so, and well his cousin really just led me along and pretended to care about me and at the time, i was rather gulliable and deep down i just wanted someone to care about me. Long story short, his cousin lost his virginity to me, dumped me, but then said we could still be friends with benefits. It was ovbious he only wanted one thing. In the mean time my ex boyfriend at the time had been chatting up loads of girls over the internet, spreading lies about myself and even chatting up a girl he had cheated on me with when were together. He also did sexual things with 3 different girls in the space of a month, and had intercourse with one of them. 2 out of the 3 times he done things he was paraletic. When we got back togehter, it hurt both of us when we found out about what each other had done when we had split up, however he always made me out to be worse and still does it till this day just because i got with his cousin.However when we first got back together he only told me about 2 of the girls he did stuff with, and missed out one of them. I saw this as not fair, as i had to tell him every detail about me and his cousin as he wouldn't take no as an answer.I only found out yesterday there were in fact 3 girls, he missed out the girl he done something with when he was in fact sober. I found out via facebook when i had to look for a message on his account for a friend of mine. I also discovered when we had broken up he had been chatting with 8 girls, when he said there was only about 3. I also happened to read some of the messages, which were mainly lies about myself and stuff such as "i've always loved you" or "I left my ex for you".It seemed all these girls he messaged though had eventually turned him down or told him where to go, i now however feel like a last option, as even though he did never give up on me when we had broken up, it seemed things might of been different if one of those girls had of taking him.I confronted him about the third girl and the messages, he said that he got himself too deep into a lie saying there were only two, and he didn't want to tell me about the messages or the girls simply because i would of gotten upset (will admit hearing about what he did took along time to get over) he also said those messages were simply to get anyone or someone to maybe like him like i did again, as he had litterally no one (he was homeless at the time) however he said he never gave up on me and wanted me back instead of them, and the messages he sent to them were simply lies, he said i am better than all of them, and that he only ever loved me, he even after that deleted his facebook account so he could prove he wasn't interested in any of them. However, i've lost all trust in him now, after he made out i was worse than him, and how i had to tell him every detail about me and his cousin whether i liked it or not, and he lied about this, i keep thinking, is there more?I don't know whether i should put this behind me trust him thats it, trust him there aren't any other girls that he done things with and didn't want to tell me about and just get over it? (i did scan through his facebook messages and it didn't seem like there were anymore secrets to be uncovered). Or should i be careful, should i continue not to trust him, and beleive he hasn't acutally changed this time, or even if the worst comes to the worst should i get rid of him.. i've told him this is his last chance.. whats your take on this need some help :/ Thank you P.s i've also asked him if maybe he had feelings for the last girl, or he didn't tell me because there was still something going on when we got back together. He said there wasn't and it was just a matter of fact that he got to deep into a lie and thought he couldn't get out of it without upsetting me. I've looked at this girl and it does my head in a little because frankly, i have very low self esteem, and the two girls he told me about they weren't two good looking themselves, however the last one in my books, was infact really pretty, and i have convinced myself she is better than me, and even thought maybe as she is the opposite to what i look like, he would be better off with her. This whole new secret has really destroyed certain aspects of my self confidence and love for my boyfriend.
View related questions:
broke up, cheated on me, confidence, cousin, facebook, friend with benefits, got back together, my ex, self esteem, split up, the internet Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (27 October 2012):
 HI
Firstly I feel you are so very young to have slept with his cousin, that said his cousin only used you to get at your ex because as he already told you he didn't get on with him. Your BF or ex BF will be chatting to girls and getting on with things, he wasn't with you at the time and his also so young, boys at this age are rare to find loyal or wanting a long term relationship, they are only just learning to cope with thier hormones, which are a lot higher and erratic than young girls. I would get on with my education and worry more about my job prospects once leaving school than worrying about boy's !
Mandy x
|
