A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I used to fancy a friend of mine, he knows but clearly has no interest I’m coping with that. Now his started going out with a guy 10 years younger than him, he told me they were fun buddies cause he couldn’t go out with someone younger than him (this guy also lives far away), so last week my friend declared this guy his boyfriend but that night he went and slept with his ex and went to a chill out on the next day. He got high and definitely had sex with a couple of guys. This has put me off him for the fact he can cheat, However I’m not going to but really want to tell the guy, his young, and if he falls in love or is in love with my friend he’ll get hurt. I know they’ve been seeing each other for a while 3 months At least so after he declared him his boyfriend that should mean he stays faithful Should I tell the young guy and watch my friend break his heart Or should I just let it lead it’s course Do you think that will last?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (5 December 2017):
 You say that you are coping with him not returning your feelings but from the sounds off your post you are not. It is clear you still want to be with him even though you no that he does not feel the same for you.
Your feelings for this man means that it has went past friendship. If you want to stay friends with him now you are only going to be hurting yourself keeping him around. You need to distance yourself from him so that you have a chance to heal. Generally that means no contact and no friendship.
As for his boyfriend no you shouldn't tell him you are better to stay out off it as it is none off your business. If your friend is a cheat then he will finally be caught out for what he is but you should keep your nose out off it. If you don't want a cheat for a friend then you should end the friendship. Once you loose this friendship and work on yourself you might actually meet someone who you like and who likes you back. Good luck.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (25 November 2017):
 No no don't snitch .
Seriously ? This seems like a plan which could be coinceved by Jack from " Will and Grace "- or any other stereotypical representation of the gay man as petty, catty , self- centered and sneaky.
Come on, you know that you don't give a f..k about the possible heartbreak of the younger man. Reasonably so, since you don't even know him.
Plus, you seem assume a lot of things; that they agreed on strict monogamy , that the younger man will necessarily end up heartbroken... or that that night he did not have his own shenaninigans going on.
Anyway, it's really none of your business. These people do not have the obligation to live their relationship the way is proper and moral in your eyes, and you cannot go around trying to enforce good and punish evil ,like some sort of Marvel super-hero.
More so, since you know, and I know, that you would not be doing this out of your high principles. You are simply a sore loser, and you would be trying to break them up because of envy and hurt pride . Which are human, understandable emotions, but - keep them in check, OK ?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (25 November 2017):
 I think you should stay out of it.
You have ulterior motives for telling and NOT noble ones. You want to lash out, you want SOMEONE to feel what you are feeling. Hurt and upset.
I agree with YCNBS - watch how your "friend" treats partners... THAT is NOT what you want. Be glad that you are NOT his BF.
Take a break from this "friend". Stop being so INVOLVED in his sex life and life. Focus on your own.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (25 November 2017):
 Hell hath no fury like a woman (or man in this case) scorned. Clearly you are NOT coping with your friend not fancying you, despite your declaration in the first sentence of your post that you are. THAT is what you need to tackle.
Your friend's dubious behaviour has absolutely NOTHING to do with you, especially given that you do not know this young guy who he has hooked up with.
You are clearly still peeved at your friend that he does not return your feelings and you want to now appear all moralistic and sabotage his relationship. Give it up. This will never end well.
Just be grateful it is not YOU at the receiving end of such behaviour. Find someone who will treat you well and who deserves you.
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