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Hasn't text me all day.. but got on facebook??

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 March 2014) 6 Answers - (Newest, 7 March 2014)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend is supposed to be at work today but I haven't talked to him so I really have no idea if he went or not. I text him about 3 hours ago and said "just thinking about you.. love you.. xoxo" and he didn't reply. I didn't think much of it until I saw that about an hour ago he'd went on facebook using his work phone and shared a picture. Should I be upset?

He has 2 different phones; his work phone which his boss provided him. He uses this phone to talk to his boss, go on facebook and to call me sometimes. He's asked me not to call it back in case his boss is around so he doesn't get fired. The only contacts in this phone are his boss, 2 secretaries and his male co-worker. His 2nd phone is actually HIS phone, no internet nor calling. This is the phone we've always used to communicate.

Should I be upset that he hasn't text me all day, didn't reply to my text, but had time to use his work phone to jump on facebook for a minute? He only shared one photo so it doesn't look like he was on there very long but it's made me sad nonetheless.

View related questions: at work, co-worker, facebook, text

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (7 March 2014):

So_Very_Confused agony auntShould you be upset that he has not gotten back to you? NO

Should you be upset that you expect it? Maybe.

You are sad for the wrong reason. You shouldn’t be sad at all… Honeypie, CindyCares and Cerberus have nailed it.

We in this age of technology demand and expect INSTANT gratification and response. It’s not necessary to have 24/7 contact. Texting is not to be used for important information anyway.

The text you sent was sweet but did not require a response or an acknowledgement. Pretend you are John and Abigail Adams. They spent MOST of their MARRIAGE apart. They wrote letters daily… but they did not have the contact that so many younger people seem to demand and require these days. Yes it’s nice to be told you are loved. Or to receive a thank you for the text. BUT in this case it was NOT necessary.

I too wonder if he thinks that his boss doesn’t have the ability to check the OUTGOING calls on his work phone too.

WHY does he have a phone with NO VOICE? That seems a bit odd to me.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (7 March 2014):

Honeypie agony auntI know that a LOT of people (mostly younger then myself) text and talk to their partner ALL day or throughout the day when they REALLY should be working.

He's already told you that he ca't do a lot of talking while at work (which honestly makes sense), so just respect that. As soon as he is off work you two can chat/text til your hearts content.

And I agree with Cerberus, it was a sweet text and I bet it made him smile, but if you sent it with the intention of him sending you a sweet message back you are missing the point of sending a sweet note/text.

And why wouldn't he be at work?

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (7 March 2014):

CindyCares agony aunt I agree with Cerberus , it did not require any reply. There was no question or time sensitive issue. You wanted to convey a nice sentiment and tell him that you were thinking of him- you did.

Unless you are one of those people who send a barrage of I love yous and I miss yous JUST BECAUSE they want to be told : I love you too, I miss you too.

It's a sleeve pulling trick to be used sparingly, because in the long run it becames old and tiresome.

A curiosity : if he cannot use his business phone for personal calls ( which makes sense ), BUT, also cannot call or get calls by his personal phone, how do you two " communicate " ? Always text only ?

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A female reader, oldbag United Kingdom +, writes (7 March 2014):

oldbag agony auntAnd if all this technology didn't exist you would have sent a love letter and then waited days for a reply....

You sent a sentiment, via text, he probably read it and smiled. Then carried on with his job....

IF he had his personal phone with him and actually saw the message ofcourse.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2014):

People rely on technology too much. Just because he didnt say he loves u back it doesnt mean that he doesnt love u back. Its not like hes at a massive orgy and partying. Ur overreacting. Just a few years ago before cellphones were popular people didn't have to check up on thier significant other at work they just trusted them. Relationships are built on trust and if u cant even trust him why be with him.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2014):

Your text didn't require a reply. It was't a question it was just a sweet reminder by you of how much he means to you.

Don't ruin that sentiment by making it all about getting a reply. If that was your intention then frankly you shouldn't have even bothered sending him that because it defeats the whole purpose of sending a sweet text.

It would have been nice to get a reply, but it wasn't necessary, is the idea that when he saw that he probably smiled and felt loved not enough for you?

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