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Going out of my mind over my workmate!

Tagged as: Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 February 2007) 6 Answers - (Newest, 18 February 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I am totally going out of my mind for this guy i work with, who is 30. I have been working there since the summer and am not a permanent member of staff. At first i thought he diden't like me, then something happened, he started acting differently around me. We started flirting, sharing long eye contact and smiles, we even whisper sayings across the office to each other. Other co-workers have noticed and often comment with sayings like " the lovers are looking at each other again ".

I feel like i am stuck between a rock and a hard place, i think about him 24/7, i get butterflies, and my legs go to jelly when he is near. I think he feels the same as me but am not 100% sure.

Its now February and still nothings has happened, im scared to say anything to him incase he dosen't feel the same, i would be mortified if he said turned me down.

Any advice on this would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks

View related questions: co-worker, flirt, I work with

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A female reader, Mistiwood Switzerland +, writes (18 February 2007):

sounds to me as though he does like you after all he is offering to take you to the bus stop, that is your cue to jump, only you aren't jumping. The key to success is to communicate. No doubt you have either e-mail or sms messaging, so be honest and tell him that you like him a lot but you are shy, however being at work makes it difficult, so do you fancy going for a drink one night away from work? That way you have told him how you feel and broke the ice and made the first step. Go for it, you've only got one chance and if you wait too long he will find someone else!

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (18 February 2007):

kenny agony auntYou say you have been working there since the summer, and its now February. So the likellhood of him asking you out any time soon is somewhat remote.

My guess is that he is either shy or scared of you rejecting him, as you are with him.

Do the two of you ever get any time alone, when other co-workers are not around.

I know its hard because you work together, but i feel you are going to have to take the bull by the horns on this one and ask him. Just say do you fancy doing something after work one night and see what he says.

If he says no then you know that he was just messing around with you. However if he says yes, which im sure he will you can both go and get to know each other outside of work.

If something does materialise between the two of you, one of you would have to consider leaving that job.

Hope this helps you, and good luck x

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A female reader, shania United Kingdom +, writes (18 February 2007):

shania agony auntIm surprised he hasn't made the 1st move yet?..The man is 30 years old,so he's not a 16 year old teenager.If you feel that he does like you then take it to the next level and ask him out for a drink at lunch time...strike while the irons hot,if he says no then you will know that he was just playing games.Good luck.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2007):

Hi Eve, Im the origional poster of this question. Thank you for your good advice. To be honest its is such a close office, we are all in the same room and getting him alone is a hard task. When we have coffy or tea its made for the whole office. The only time we are sometimes alone is at night he offers to take me to the bus stop in his car. But im so nervous about being alone with him like that i don't know what to say, what ever i do say comes out sounding silly, or i will laugh at what he has just said even tho its not funny.

Thanks again

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A female reader, AskEve United Kingdom +, writes (18 February 2007):

AskEve agony auntYou need to try and talk to him for starters and not just smile at him all the time. Ask him what he's doing for lunch, he could be just as shy and scared to approach you in case YOU give him the brush off. Don't ask him out, let that come from him. Be friendly to him, talk together, ask him how his work is going and if he likes working where he is. Ask him if he wants a coffee when tea break or lunch time comes. Once you both start to talk more then things will improve.

Eve

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2007):

This is so cute, sounds to me youve got struck by lightening girl, and what ive read 'the long eye contact' he must like you. If he didnt like you then he wouldnt go along with it all, and he would have said something to stop all the gossip about 'lovers are looking at each other again'. If it was me and i didnt like a guy but there was gossip that we were lovers id make sure they got it straight, but this guy hasnt, he`s smiling right back at you. He might just be as apprehensive as you are, unsure whether he`ll make a fool of himself, so i say you take the chance and tell him, maybe not so in your face but like going for a dirnk after work and when your alone you can talk, if he does turn you down then atleast you can say you got mixed messages and laugh it off over a drink. It would make the situation a whole lot comfortable, but to be honest i really think this guy likes you, so go for it! Good Luck! x

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