A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend of 6 months is 12 years younger than I am, but very much more sexually experienced than I me. I got married young and I have only been with two women in my life while she is very adventurous and loves sex. She is also blessed with being a beautiful blonde, so finding partners has been very easy for her whenever she wanted one. I don't know how many she has had, but I know she has had every race, color, and size. She even had two MMF threesomes, which she called "fun." Last night just after midnight we had "Valentine's Day" sex which included a great blow job to completion as foreplay. My girlfriend is very adept at this and I love how she makes me feel. Lying in bed afterwards she said: "You know, when I blow you, you act like you've never had a blow job before. You are weird." Just like that. I was a little stunned and asked her: "What's normal?" to which she said "I dunno. Just not you." I pressed and she said: "You get all excited and squirm and squeal and stuff. You get so into it." I said: "That's not normal?" and she said it's not. I told her: "I will try to act more bored next time." She laughed and said "I doubt it." I told her I get so excited because she is so good at it.I am not really sure why she said this or what she meant by it. What else is she expecting I am gonna do? Since she's been with a lot of men I guess she has a good basis for comparison and her comment has made me a bit self-conscious now. My ex-wife and I had an awful sex life from the start and it completely disappeared the last few years at the end there. She rarely gave me blow jobs and they were uninspired. My only other experience was with a girl in college and we only slept together a handful of times. She never gave me a blow job. So I suppose that my girlfriend is correct to pick up on the fact that I haven't had many blow jobs, but I still don't know what's so unusual about how I act or why she said what she did. Any clues?
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female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (15 February 2012):
 I absolutely agree with the other posters that say she's sexually immature. Putting you down for enthusiastic sexual response is a LOW BLOW, and can absolutely kill your sexual desire for her. She probably has no idea just how incredibly insulting she was. I suggest you tell her in no uncertain terms is she going to speak to you again in such a disrespectful way. She should feel lucky that you don't lie there like a bloody ninja.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2012): Every girl is different and has unique requirements in sex.I don't think she was trying to ask you to lay there and act bored.Just a guess: Maybe she needs to feel that she is giving pleasure to a bold man. And she needs to feel that she is being controlled by that man, not the other way around.If you make girlish screams, she might not be able to picture you as a bold man. Or if you get over-excited easily, it feels like it is you who's being controlled by her. It's a turn-off for some girls.Next time, try these things and observe her feedback:- Don't lay on bed. Stand up and make her kneel in front of you.- Try not to make girlish screams. Keep your voice bold.- Be in control of you and her. If you feel you're going to be over-excited, make her stop. Do a different thing to her that doesn't involve your penis (like grabbing her butt). This allows you to cool down. Then have her continue.You can watch a little bit of porn (it's ok for educational purposes). Most male pornstars are good at receiving oral.Good luck
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (14 February 2012):
 "You know, when you compare me with other men you've been to bed with, it makes me feel weird. I find it a lot tacky and frankly a bit rude. While I love getting blow jobs from you and feel great when you do this, this type of remark from you is going a long way to killing my feelings of enjoyment.
"Let's make a pact. I won't bring up my past relationships, either in or out of bed, and you won't bring up your past relationships either. That way, neither of us could get hurt by an unmeant comparison."
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That being said, it may be that you are turning purple or blowing bubbles or squeaking like a mouse. It may be scaring her a little.
It is also possible that she has devised a very clever way to get you to NOT want oral sex by undermining your confidence.
I wouldn't let it put you off enjoying oral sex with her; just draw appropriate boundaries for her to work with and if she can't manage to be sensible about comments like that, well, maybe there's a reason she has had other breakups. She may simply be clueless.
Don't over think this. While she was tactless to bring it up, that doesn't require you to worry about every single nuance of her idiotic remark. Live in the present moment, not her past or in your insecurity. Okay? Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (14 February 2012):
 I'm sorry for her and her big mouth, she probably didn't mean it as an insult but more of a compliment, in fact she wasn't bloody thinking.As you say, you've not had many good bj's and sex before wasn't that great. So just like a child seeing something nice for the first time, your responses are natural, excited, you don't bother to hide your pleasure and delight, it's all still new and beautiful to you.Not weird (ugly word that young people love to use) but more unusual compared to the guys who get blow jobs all the time. Like the difference between making love to a virgin and making love to woman with hundreds of lovers. Your still charmingly unaware and unable handle the pleasure with a face that says "this happens everyday".Please don't feel inadequate in any way. She didn't say it was bad, she just probably hasn't met a man like you in a very long, long time. (if ever)
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (14 February 2012):
 Heh, you know...for someone who is said to have much more sexual experience than you, her comment betrays her inexperience, to be honest. She's been used to guys who are unexpressive, and you really get into it.
First of all, there is NOTHING weird about you! She is a bonehead for saying something like that in the first place. Rule #1 is never to criticize someone's authentic sexual response. She should just enjoy that you are expressive. We women love a guy who is into it!
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (14 February 2012):
 She's NUTS!
I love good feedback from my man.... how else do you know your doing it right.
Next time, do that just lay there. do NOTHING give her NO feedback.... ugh she needs to mature a bit....
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A
female
reader, Domolovescookies +, writes (14 February 2012):
 maybe it just isnt the type of reaction that turns her on? Personally I find that boyish ... somehow... (yeah that makes no sense, but thats how i see it) I'm sure she was flattered at ur reply tho, she was just playing that down.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (14 February 2012):
 I think maybe your girlfriend was just fooling around trying to make jokes. It's not weird at all. Sexually experienced as she may be, perhaps she's only been with men who aren't good at expressing their pleasure? Or perhaps she thinks it is great to see your reaction, but that she thought you would be bored with her at one point?
I think.. weird as this might sound... she might have been fishing for a complement. Maybe she wonders if you are just putting on an act for her, acting like you enjoy it more. Maybe boyfriends of the past have been bores in bed and not said much, making her feel that's to be expected. And maybe that makes her think you're not for real. I think, all in all, she's just happy to see your reaction. And she doesn't want to say "boy, my exes really sucked at recieving blowjobs", or "Maybe the exes never liked my blowjobs", so instead she says "you're weird", because you actually express that you enjoy it.
You're not weird. Did her comment make you feel uneasy or did it hurt you? If so then talk to her about it and ask her exactly what she meant. Because such comments can make you fixate on how you express yourself during sex, and ruin the entire experience for you. It's like you telling her she looks funny when SHE orgasms. Then see if she can relax enough to orgasm again... I'd think not. So tell her how it made you feel.
And take it from me, a sexually experienced woman, you're not weird. I've had some 12+ sexual partners and the more you express your pleasure the better.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (14 February 2012):
 Well, I don't squirm and squeal "and stuff," but I certainly react. I'd say my reaction at climax is to groan a bit - and possibly thrust a little. I've seen some porn where the guy squeals and makes a lot of high pitched noises, and even screams, and that seems rather extreme to me. But some folks (females as well) are more vocal than others.
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A
male
reader, unknown2u +, writes (14 February 2012):
Well I have no idea how other guys react -- I've never been in the same room with another guy getting a bj. But I can tell you that for me, anything beyond a modestly competent effort is the Best Thing In The World. And I let her know by reacting honestly -- making noises, squirming, etc. Surely expressing my genuine appreciation is the least I can do in return for the amazing gift she's giving me?
I can't make any sense out of her comment. I'd just ignore it.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (14 February 2012):
 HUH? I don't understand your girlfriend. The only reason it's fun to give your partner oral sex is so that they will react like you did. There's no physical pleasure in it, it's just fun to see your partner enjoying how good it feels. If they just lie there silent and unmoving, what fun is that?
Your girlfriend is the one acting "weird," not you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2012): She's immature about sex. AND I think she is downplaying how complimented she feels by your healthy, normal response to pleasure.
I get more turned on if my Man is thusly pleased. Makes me even want to do it more. Totally strokes my ego.
I personally find a starfish of a man that is silent and lays there as a turn off.
Your GF is an insensitive Idiot.
Don't be self concious. But I would tell her you weren't happy about her comment. Tell her its your response and its not abnormal. If it makes you uncomfortable for me to be pleased- its your hang up, not mine.
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