A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i have this co worker that i have a thing for. i love his personality and i love how he is alway making me laugh. i know he is shy but can u help me try and figure him out?while we are at work i feel like at times he trys to avoid me and sometimes when i talk to him he answers me with short answers. then there are those times that he'll come by my station and say a statement or two that makes me laugh. we work in different stations and there are days that he'll text me all day during working hours, it could be about anything between of thing about our co workers and work to how was my food that i had on my break to him making trouble to me about one thing or another.we hung out a couple times out of work. the first couple times we just met eachother so as hard as i tryed to carry on a conversation, it didn't last that long. but after we got to know eachother i think we clicked. (at lease i thought so).i didn't tell anyone that i had a crush on him. everyone at work is close and the last thing i wanted is for him to know.i thought i could read people well until i read him all wrong. i thought where was something when he started doing little things like ... useing my own little phrase back to me ( he over heard me telling another co worker "pinky swear" about something and he always tells me that now), he would text me and ask why i didn't tell him hi yet or why i didn't tell him bye before i went home, he would say i was being mean if i was talking to someone that was standing my him (like my manager) and i didn't look at him til he made a silly comment that made me laugh.so one night we all went out drinking and i guess i had a little to much that i made it known to him all our co workers that was there that i had a thing for him. the next day at work he acted the same to me, just as if my secret wasn't out of the bag. i appologize about that night later that day and he acted like he wasn't bothered by it. couple days later one of his friends ( a co worker) asked me straight up ... do i like hime. bottom line he said i was starting to make him feel uncomfortable. so right after that conversation i called him and said my sorrys for making him feel like that way and i just really adored his personality and i hoped i didn't lose his as a friend. he told me to tell whoever is talking smack to shut up and we are and always was friends. he called him and hold him that he was mad and he had no business telling me that .remember how i said i was reading him all wrong... well the way he would act around me i thought that there was really something sooo about 2 weeks later i was drinking and he was mad about something so i asked his straight up, "do you want me to just leave u alone already" ? he said, "were friends right? sooo i would never tell a friend to leave me alone". from that day i stopped giving him that special attention and just treated him like i did everyone else. since then he started calling me little nicknames, he wishes me a good day and tells me no one better take that smile off my face, wishes me good night and sweet dreams, he's always telling me how another co worker of ours likes me and tells me how sweet he thinks that is and i make very clear to him that i do not feel the same. he admitted to me and said sorry about getting jealous and mad at me when i took someone else side at work and not his. he even started to bring times to my attention when he thought i was ignoring him and when i tell him wasn't talking to me either he tells me a sappy excuse like maybe he was shy. i don't know what to do. i don't want to lose him as a friend but i see something special in him and when ever he gives me that special attention he just melts my heart every time. i just don't understand him.
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female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (25 February 2009):
 Well to me it sounds like he is interested but is too shy/worried to make the next move. I imagine his main concern is dating someone he works with as this causes all sorts of hassle and problems.
But all the texts he sends you, especially if he texts you at night, makes it pretty clear that you are important to him. And if he has admitted feeling jealous well you dont normally feel jealous about a friend now do you?
I think it will be the work thing that is holding him back and there really isnt much you can do about that unless one of you leaves! Talking about the other person that likes you seems to be his way of testing you; to see if you like anyone else and if you would date anyone else while he knows you still like him.
It all sounds too complicated for my liking - dating a co-worker should generally be avoided if possible for a whole number of reasons! But if you really like him then you need to talk to him - tell him how you feel and how you want to be more than friends. If he still doesnt want to take it any further then you need to accept that and move on. Tell him you still want to be friends but he cant text you so much and be around you all the time as he is giving you the wrong signals. He should then back off a bit whilst still being friends and then this will give you the space you need to move on.
I hope this helps and good luck!
A
male
reader, Ed1337 +, writes (25 February 2009):
 Why don't you just tell him face to face that you have feelings for him? Your only on this planet once, don't regret not telling him how you feel.
I can't see how you will lose him as a friend if you tell him how you feel, sure it might be a bit awkward at first, but thats no reason to stop being friends. I told someone down my local I had feelings for her, she only wanted to be friends and we didn't talk for a month after that, but everything is fine between us now.
Just go for it and good luck.
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