A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Friends with benefits: I lied 2 him and told him I had been with loads of guys but I haven't, I am still a virgin. He said he feels bad because we have done things and he feels bad that he has ruined my first time, he fingerd me and he didn't know I was still a virgin. I told him in a text cause I couldn't do it to his face. He is on holiday and I asked him if he wanted to carry on being friends with benefits and he said I don't know and I am going to try and enjoy my holiday. I think I upset him and could I have lost what we had before I told him and would it have changed anything between us? I am lost and confused and I just don't know what I should do about it.
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friend with benefits, on holiday, still a virgin, text Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2009): From a guy perspective hes mad that you lied not that your a virgin. By lying you lost your moral virginity he may be thinking what else have you lied about. He also may have wanted to make things more special for you if he had of known it was your first time.Either way he should get over it. I wouldnt recommend letting him hold this over your head bottom line is you have the vagina so you hold the cards in the relationship.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2009): I wouldn't worry about it, what is done is done....he will probably think about it and be grateful you at least told him before you had intercourse, right?
Let me ask you though, why are you settling for a friends with benefits when you have waited this long to have sex for the first time? You don't have any experience, so you wouldn't know this, but men do not usually see a friends with benefits as girlfriend material, it lowers your value in their eyes and they think of you as someone with low self esteem, and sadly people push those with low self esteem away. Do you have low self esteem? Do you think there is something wrong with being a virgin?
Another thing you don't know yet is that when you have sex with a man, you will hormoneally bond with them and emotions will start messing with your head....you are then not going to be happy with being a fwb more than likely....so I hope you don't stop dating other men so that you don't invest too much of your heart in a dead end affair.
Remember take care of you, focus on you, not the guy and decide what you want to make you happy and then go for that....what you should be asking among other things, is this guy good enough for you?
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