A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok i'm really unsure what to do and would love some advice.Here goes: My fella and I have been together a year now. I have this group of so-called friends (so-called because they never really bothered with me much when I was single unless they were at a lose end) and they're all terrible flirts. Plus none of them have boyfriends and seem to flirt with whoevers boyfriend at that time.I get very insecure over this and although my boyfriend doesn't really flirt back with them, i can tel he really enjoys the attention. This wouldn't be so bad but it's a double standard!!! Saturday we were out and we see a couple of his friends. ONe of them, Mark, I have known i long while and he used to fancy me but apparently still does and this winds my boyfriend up. And saturday ended up with my man being very jealous and irritated cause apparently Mark was really giving me the eye and I was lapping it up!!!Now this has made me even more not want to go out with my man and my friends cause it's such a double standard. I'm not allowed to have any jealous feelings when it comes to just me and him and about 5 girls who are my mates, but he can have them if the boots on the other foot so to speak. If I mention any jealous feelings when we're out with my friends, he gets huffy and says I'm overeacting, ruining the evening, need to relax etc, etc.Plus on top of all this, I strongly suspect that one girl in my group of friends really does have a strong crush on him as she goes all shy and bashful when she says hello to him (but is most definately not a shy and bashful person GRRRRR!!!) and stares at us if we are giving each other affection.What do I do?? I really don't want him out with this group of girls as it is mainly just him and all the girls and me and it makes me sooo uncomfortable. Especially now as I know it's such a big problem for me to be with him and a couple of men, but I'm expected not to be insecure at all when the roles are reversed.Also these girls aren't my friends at all. They're all two-faced and a bit back stabbing, but the only reason why I have clung on to them is cause when I was single and lived on my own I didn't want to have too much time on my own and needed some options. I have other friends but they're not always free as they're in committed relationships.They've asked us to go out next weekend. what do I do? If I go out with them and my fella, I'm worried that my boyfriend and the girl that does fancy him will end up getting even more of a crush on each other cos they are seeing each other regularly if that makes sense.What would any of you do in this situation that are in a relationship?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, GeeGee255  +, writes (12 March 2011):
 You and your boyfriend are grown ups now, you're not in high school anymore. You should be able to take him around your friends without a single fear or worry about his loyalty to you, whether another girl tries to flirt with him or not.
He is with you, because he loves you not her. And he should be the one to handle the situation if another girl (your friend or not) goes to far by letting her know that her advances are not welcome or reciprocated. And you should feel confident that he would do this out of respect for you and the relationship whether you are in the next room or 1000 miles away. If you are not, then I would not be with him in the first place.
For example, just last night my husband received 2 phone calls just a few minutes apart. Both calls were from two of my female friends. One was crying because she got shocked when she opened the door below her oven and thought her new stove was ruined, and the second just wanted to know how to download some Itunes to her phone. I have a 3rd friend that calls him whenever she has a computer problem.
(my husband happens to be very handy) lol
All of them, at one time or another, have asked him to come to their homes for help with a problem. Sometimes I go with him, but not always. And never once have I worried about them or him. Because I know I don't have to. I wouldn't be with him if I did.
The secret to a jealousy free life is simple, you just have to pick the right man in the first place.
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