A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My story started about 6 months back when I met this girl at my work. I felt an immediate attraction to her. It wasn't just a physical one either, I mean she had the perfect personality type to me. We started talking and flirting back and forth at work, and it eventually carried outside of work, and I eventually started to fall in love. As it became more obvious where our relationship was heading she decides to tell me that she is married and is going through a divorce and promised herself she wouldn't date until after the divorce was finalized. I told her I was ok with this. She also tells me about what brought her to area, and without going into detail basically it was to better her relationship between her and God.I began attending church service(which I still attend) A short time later she asks me to come stay the night with her at her apt. I reluctantly said yes. We became slightly intimate, but nothing serious happened. This occurred a few more times over the next few weeks. I invited her out to dinner and to a play afterwards. A few days later she says that she can no longer see me alone, because she is a married women and she doesn't want to be divorced and just wants to be friends with me. I came to terms with this in an outward appearance only. I found out later that she was seeing someone else. It lasted about a month, and she broke it off with him as well, when her husband failed to file the divorce papers correctly. She says that its a sign from God and that she needs to focus on being a better wife (even if her husband has a girlfriend) At this point I'm still friends with her, but I'm still deeply in love with her. I realistically don't see her getting back together with her husband, but I don't want to hang on to the thought that I have a chance at relationship with her if the divorce becomes finalized. The problem is that I'm not best looking man, and she is the first women that has shown me affection, and I'm still in love with her, and I don't know where to go from here. The only thing I am really sure of is that I don't want to give up our friendship. I would love to here any advice anyone has on this.
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male
reader, Yos  +, writes (11 September 2010):
 q! It was me.
Seems to me like this woman is quite happy to blame god when it's expedient, and leave a trail of mess behind her, rather than taking responsibility for her own actions, and your feelings. I would suggest backing off, and doing the best to 'fall out of love' with her. Which unfortunately takes time and not seeing her.
As for god being a 'he', given that god moves in mysterious ways, isn't god more likely to be a she?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to everyone who has given me their advice. To Drb1966, I have actually thought the same thing about GOD bringing us together. My response when she told me she was married about to be divorced was that I believe there was a reason we met when we did and how we did. Simply turning are backs on it now would to me be a slap in GOD'S face which I refuse to let happen. At this point I no longer work with her, and up until A few days ago I saw her or talked to her almost everyday. Currently she is enrolled in a missionary program, and she will train for 3 months at their facility located in another state. She then will apply what she has learned overseas for 3 months. I played a major role in her acceptance into the program and 100% support what she is doing. She will return in late February... On a side note she told me once that she tried to play the what if game and look into our future. She said one side lead to us being married having kids and happy home together. The other side lead us to the point where we no longer speak and absolutely hate each. I asked her what one scared her more. She said the one where we never speak, because she would never want to lose me as a part of her life. Thanks again everyone who gave their advice. If anyone has anything to add, I would love to hear it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2010): yes God does work in mysterious ways. HE is telling you to stay away from this cheating married woman. she keeps you panting for more, has another affair with another man, and still claims to be working on her marriage.
you find the worse hypocrites in church, so please do not be fooled. people use the Lord to justify their actions and especially their worngdoings.
Run , run away from this Bible punching hypocrite!
-LoveGirl
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A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (9 September 2010):
 I'm sorry but in my opinion you should stay away. She seems entirely too unstable. I can see if it was strictly a matter of choosing you or her husband, but she already pushed you away to be with a third guy. You don't deserve that. No matter what you think your appearance may be, you don't have to settle for that. If she wants to try to fix her marriage, fine. If she wants to choose God as the reason, also fine. But so far she's been very unpredictable. Who's to say if she does give you another chance she won't turn around and change her mind again?
You don't deserve that. And she doesn't deserve you.
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A
male
reader, drb1966 +, writes (9 September 2010):
 That is a difficult situation. It seems to me though that if she has such a strong believe in GOD and that she feels that GOD is giving her signs that tell her to make it work with her husband despite his relationship with another women. It could just as easliy be said that GOD brought you into her life for a reason. I am assuming you still work with her and have the opportunity to still speak to on a casual daily basis. Let the relationship build slowly, ask how she's doing and that if she needs to talk you're there for here.
Keep in mind though she was married and seeing you while seeing a third. There could be something deeper, so be cautious.
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A
male
reader, lionelhutz +, writes (9 September 2010):
I can understand what you mean about being with a woman who is the first one to show you affection in a way no other has. But you shouldn't let that affect your judgement. If you want to be her friend, fine. It sounds like she really values your friendship. But between already being married and the fact she was seeing someone else while you were trying to establish your relationship with her, I don't think you should stand on the sidelines hoping to be with her should her marriage end.
If you want to be her friend then be her friend. But don't put your life on hold waiting for something else to necassarily evolve.
best of luck
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