I'm shattered. How do I handle her cheating and our breakup?
Q. well first of all im 23 i was with a girl who is 20 yrs old for around 2 years i fell in love with her and thought she did too,then she broke up with me around a week ago but we still comunicated because 2 yrs is a while to just cut off,and then she ...
A. 2 November 2009: If you gave her your best, which from reading your post sounds like you did, then I would say the reasons for her decision are hers alone. Don't think of it in terms of you making a mistake.
I think that if you were already broken up, then you... (read in full...)
Why do I feel a sense of rejection with her?
Q. Hi here's my problem -- I feel sick and upset even thinking about the fact that other men have slept with my girlfriend. She is 18 and I am 20. I fell deeply in love with her the day that I met her two years ago, but it took her 5 months to feel t...
A. 1 November 2009: Just remember this: you girlfriend wants to be with you, NOBODY else. We all have pasts. But in a relationship you should enjoy the present, not dwell on the past.
I think you are correct, perhaps this is on your mind because she is your fir... (read in full...)
Is sex before marriage okay?
Q. Is sex before marriage ok? I mean what happens if it's going to be a while before you find the person you're going to spend the rest of your life with??? ...
A. 1 November 2009: That is a personal question that everyone has to answer for themselves. No one can give you a right or wrong answer. Though if you are asking it in general way to gauge opinions, I personally don't believe there's anything wrong with it. ... (read in full...)
Can he be a virgin at 40 plus???
Q. I've known this guy just under a year- both in our early 40's- we met at work but dont work in same place. We have a few friends in common and others who arent. Since we met we have seen loads of each other - we now see each other every week or so, ...
A. 1 November 2009: Shy, unconfident, still lives at home....he could be a virgin....or maybe not. It sounds like he's interested in you and likes spending time with you. But to find the answers you are looking for you are going to have to be more direct or rather ... (read in full...)
Is it a good idea for me to maybe send her a message on facebook?
Q. There was a girl at work that worked in another department. When I first saw her when she started at the company like a year ago I thought that maybe she fancied me and I fancy her and I caught her looking at me a lot at lunch. Time has gone on and ...
A. 31 October 2009: Definitely go for it. What the worse that can happen, she doesn't answer you? ... (read in full...)
Have I forever lost the love of my life?
Q. on friday nite i went to a friends house party where there was drinking involved. i was drinking and enjoying myself waiting for my boyfriend of 3 years to stop by and pick me up so that we could go home and have passionate sex. when he showed up he ...
A. 26 October 2009: Alcohol can create the best and worst of times. I know, I screwed up the relationship with the love of my life because of it and it was only after 4 long months she agreed to see me again.
I don't believe you've lost him but you have to show ... (read in full...)
Will he try to contact me again, out of the blue?
Q. I have just ended a affair with a guy of 4 years and its over. I am ok with it wish him dead just joking.. What do I do if this sob decides to try and play me again and contacts me out of the blue. It has happened before and I wonder if it will ...
A. 26 October 2009: If you don't want to be with him, tell him so. Otherwise just ignore him. Hopefully he'll get the message.... (read in full...)
He's younger and has a gf, but he won't stop hanging with me! What should I do?
Q. i am a 34 year old divorce mom to a 6 year old girl. a couple of months ago, I met a guy at a bar with my friends. Turns out we live down the street from each other and were hanging out often watching football games on sunday. ect.ect. We have a...
A. 23 October 2009: Unless you have personal concerns about it, I don't believe the age gap is a problem.
If you enjoy hanging out with him the way he says he does with you, I think you should both just enjoy the time you spend together. You seem to have a good fri... (read in full...)
I love her, and don't want to think about her past. Will these thoughts go away?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been dating for a year now. We are very serious and talk about marriage. She told me that she was pretty promiscuous during the two to three years before we started dating when she was in the military. She even used the word ...
A. 11 October 2009: I imagine for most women today, admitting you are a "slut" isn't an easy thing particularly to an SO. If she was that honest, that really says something. It's always easier said than done to try and ignore something. But it's completely up to... (read in full...)
I'm so in love with my ex and she has blocked me on her phone for the 2nd time
Q. i need help. any advise? i am so crazy in love with my ex girlfriend it is sickening. we have been apart for about a month and a half now. i took the step and called her yesterday from a pay phone due to her blocking my cell phone number previously. ...
A. 14 August 2009: It sounds like she hasn't quite dealt with her feelings towards you. Nevertheless, she blocked you for a reason. It's hard to move on from someone who means so much to you and where emotions were involved. But if she doesn't want to talk to you ... (read in full...)
Do I have to be popular to be happy?
Q. well i amm 22 m and cant socialise...lately i have entered the world where there are people having $hit loads of friends around me and having a ball! but i am struggling with myself and my personality and just dont have it in me to become popular ...
A. 14 August 2009: You don't have to do anything you don't want to. All each of us needs to be happy is inside of us already. You just have to find it. Best!... (read in full...)
One of my ex-girlfriends keeps trying to get back with me because she thinks I took her virginity, but did I?
Q. One of my ex-girlfriends keeps trying to get back into my life because she keeps claiming that we are destined to be together because I took her virginity. But I really don't think that what I did with her really counted. Sure, we had all sorts of ...
A. 14 August 2009: I agree with baby duck. The real issue is she wants to get back into your life. If you don't want to, then tell her. ... (read in full...)
He said he used to pretend his ex wife was me in bed, what does that mean?
Q. my boyfriend and i have been together for a long time now. our relationship has been kind of complex. we dated when we were younger for several years. then it ended and he married someone else. through a series of events we got back together ...
A. 14 August 2009: It sounds like he never did get over you and often wished he was with you instead of her.... (read in full...)
I'm falling for my cousin...but he has a girlfriend! What should I do?
Q. I slept with my first cousin about 3 weeks ago.. i then started to care for him very much and he the same. i dont know what to do bc we text eachother and talk everyday. it is becoming a long distance relationship, bc he lives 2 hours away. I do ...
A. 10 August 2009: I think you should consider the consequences of being with your first cousin. What will the rest of your family think? How will they react if the 2 of you are together at a FAMILY party?... (read in full...)
I need help in my decision to lose my virginity and have a baby!
Q. hey... im a 15 year old girl. and i jus wana no wat people think and if they have any advice.. ive been in a relationship with this boy for jus over a month. and i reli wana lose mi virginity and have a baby!! i no people are goin 2 say im ...
A. 10 August 2009: You already know what most people are going to say. And the fact you have the idea of "regret" already on your mind I think says you are not ready for something that's going to consume the next 18 years of your life.
That aside, a one-mont... (read in full...)
What's going on in my ex's head??
Q. Myself and my ex went for a meal last week. I thought it would be a good idea to see if i had still any feelings for her. As she told a friend of mine she was depressed i thought it would be a good idea to bring her to a park she loved, however ...
A. 10 August 2009: It seems to me she's looking for a friend and you were someone very close and special to her, that's why she wants to be friends.
I think either you know you want to get back together with an ex or you know you don't want to get back together... (read in full...)
I broke up with my girlfriend and we tried to be friends, but now she's distancing herself, what should I do?
Q. my ex gf used to be very caring ...and a big opportunist 2 talk to me ...she was damn crazy abt me and loved me from all her heart when we were going around ...then i dumped her because my feelings changed and we became friends ...she was obsessed ...
A. 10 August 2009: cgrlygo is right. You just wanted to be friends and she clearly wanted more. You avoided her and it seems she's finally gotten over you. Best to just let her be. ... (read in full...)
I know my girlfriend wasn't to blame, but I'm still really upset. Should I say something to her?
Q. My girlfriend recently went to a party and got really drunk. I wasn't there at the time because she decided it'd be best if I didn't join her because we've argued a bit recently, and I was fine with that. She knew all the people were there, none ...
A. 9 August 2009: It's not as if she got drunk and started making out with some guy before she came to her senses. I think she found herself in a situation she had no control over and wanted no part of. She was taken advantage of. I think you should be offering ... (read in full...)
Is this gift for our 2 year anniversary too cheesy?
Q. Me and my boyfriend's two year is approaching (actually..only 2 days away!) My boyfriend is a very romantic, and cheesy guy. I'm really low on money lately...so...my gift to him has to be something cheap...and also from the heart. Before m...
A. 9 August 2009: It's from the heart which is most important. I don't see how he would not love it. Remember, with a significant other, the present is not so much about what it is, but how much we put ourselves into it. ... (read in full...)
Help me get over my baby daddy
Q. I am 24 years old with 2 little girls, a 3 yr old and a 7 month old. I was with my boyfriend for 15 months, I got pregnant right away. During a routine ultrasound, it was discovered that our baby will be born with spina bifida. That's when the spine ...
A. 8 August 2009: I can understand how hard it must be for you, particulary when you say he was your first true relationship. But don't think of yourself as a failure. You gave it your all and he was the one who couldn't handle it. He is the failure. I know it's ... (read in full...)
My Girlfriend of almost 2 years has split with me. She says if it's meant to be, we'll be together some day. Is there still hope?
Q. My girlfriend of almost 2 years just broke up with me. She said that she loved me more like a brother than a boyfriend. She keeps saying that anything can happen and if we're meant to be together we'll be together. But she doesn't want to try to fix ...
A. 8 August 2009: I think she does sound impressionable. But she also sounds like maybe she's unsure of what she wants right now. I know how hard it can be to walk away, especially when emotions are involved and the other party doesn't want to try and fix whatever ... (read in full...)
Am I foolish in thinking we could rekindle what we once had?
Q. I have recently been talking to an ex-girlfriend for whom i have not seen or spoken too for many years,i guess she was ok at the time but unfortunately it did not work out between us due to my insecurities the thing is i am in a relationship with a ...
A. 7 August 2009: I know what it is to lose a great relationship because of insecurities. To me, it sounds like you have moved forward and are now the confident man you wish you were when you first knew your ex. Now that she has re-entered your life, because you ... (read in full...)
Help me get over my baby daddy
Q. I am 24 years old with 2 little girls, a 3 yr old and a 7 month old. I was with my boyfriend for 15 months, I got pregnant right away. During a routine ultrasound, it was discovered that our baby will be born with spina bifida. That's when the spine ...
A. 6 August 2009: You obviously saw something in him that maybe no one else saw. There's nothing wrong with that. We all have to follow our heart sometimes, even if our head is telling us otherwise. But from what you say nothing about him sounds like a mature ma... (read in full...)
How can I trust her now?
Q. Ok. My problem is.. When I first met my girlfriend she was seeing another guy. We worked together but seemed to connect really well. One day we made out in a private room at work. After that we started hanging out together and we would occ...
A. 6 August 2009: I knew a girl like this. She's unique, one of kind, someone who's so easy to connect with and be with, you don't want it to end. But she's also someone who needs human companionship (attention?), someone who doesn't want to be alone.
You h... (read in full...)
Why won't my heart listen to my head?
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend of 6 months over 2 months ago. He was never going to be the one for me and I knew this at the time. I relly liked spending time with him though and we got pretty close. Im having a hard time dealing with being apart from ...
A. 4 August 2009: Its easy to tell yourself something, but so much harder to act on it when your heart and emotions are involved. It will take time but you just have to deal with it one day at a time. Get out, meet others, have fun. You never know what's around ... (read in full...)
He's not the man I married.. or I just didn't know who I was marrying.
Q. OK Folks - this worked before, so I am hoping to hear some feedback and that I will be able to understand what happened in my marriage - I wrote June 26th - titled 'He was sweet before our marriage, now he is abusive' and received some great in...
A. 4 August 2009: I wish I could answer what happened but I don't know what to say. Perhaps he was simply putting his best foot forward to impress you but with marriage realized that was no longer necessary (as far as he was concerned). I don't know....
I wou... (read in full...)
I feel inferior compared to my girlfriend!
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for 3 months and they've been wonderful, but I can't help but feel a little bit inferior. She is an amazing gymnast. She competes in meets all over America and I know she's gonna go on to be big. I just dont' see what ...
A. 3 August 2009: Whatever she does, in the end she is still a regular person. When you start putting her on a pedastal and feeling inferior, it is only a matter of time before things start going down hill (trust me on this). Your girlfriend wants to be with you ... (read in full...)
Shes twice my age! Does this matter?
Q. Shes twice my age! is this an issue? ive recently started seeing an older women shes 40 im 20 i never even really considered actualy dating someone older was all a fantasy but its become real. we been meeting and chatting for a few months and we ...
A. 3 August 2009: If you are happy with this woman there is nothing wrong with the age difference. But before you get too serious you should maybe talk about what you are both looking for. Best!... (read in full...)
While I was away my girlfriend shared a drunken kiss with someone... Should I take her back?
Q. Dear cupid I(27) have been dating and living with my girlfriend(21) for 2 years. I have a son from a previous relationship whom she appeared to love and care for him genuinely. She had been absolutely wonderful in our relationship and showed t...
A. 3 August 2009: You described it that she was drunk and kissed him before pulling away realizing what she did. Unless she's done something like this before, it's an isolated incident. Many of us have done things under the influence we would normally not have done ... (read in full...)
I've been avoiding sex because I'm afraid of being compared to her other 30 partner!
Q. I have a girlfriend and we have been official for just over a month now. I've known her for 3 years prior to getting involved with her. She is a lovely person, and I'm so glad we are together, but she recently confided in me that she has slept with ...
A. 2 August 2009: With all due respect I think you are really overthinking this. If the last guy was so perfect and exactly what your lady friend wanted, why would she have stopped seeing him? Does this mean that if the last guy was a multi-millionaire, you'd feel ... (read in full...)
We've had threesome and now my husband wants to try swinging! But I get upset at the thought of him wanting another woman. What should I do?
Q. My husband wants to swing I thought I could try this but I didn't do so well I got mad and had a fight with him. He wants a little fun in our marriage so I thought I could do this I don't know If I can do this without getting mad and arguing with ...
A. 1 August 2009: I had a friend who went through this. Her marriage was "falling apart" and she agreed to this to make her husband happy. Not only did she dislike it, but it made things worse as her husband grew jealous of the men she was with. If you are not ... (read in full...)
What's going on with this girl? She keeps letting me down at the last minute!
Q. I recently pursued a relationship with a girl I met in a college class. I initially requested to go to a movie and she replied that she was busy. A day after I asked, she initiated two conversations on facebook that lasted around an hour each. I ...
A. 1 August 2009: People get busy and her cancelling on you twice is not really out of the ordinary. It's not like she told you no and then you bumped into her in a bar an hour later.
She's "unofficially" seeing someone; it sounds like she might be looking ... (read in full...)
I've been avoiding sex because I'm afraid of being compared to her other 30 partner!
Q. I have a girlfriend and we have been official for just over a month now. I've known her for 3 years prior to getting involved with her. She is a lovely person, and I'm so glad we are together, but she recently confided in me that she has slept with ...
A. 1 August 2009: First of all consider that some women don't climax easily, no matter what you do or who they are with. Talk to her during sex to get an idea of what it is she likes. Second, I've been in a somewhat similar situation and I let it ruin what I h... (read in full...)
5 years later and I'm still crushing on her - Help
Q. Sorry for those that hate reading long questions but I feel that I need to do so in order for you to be able to accurately and seriously give me a proper answer that I NEED, you will need to know the full or relatively full properties of my ...
A. 31 July 2009: I would agree with the other responses. We can all think about the things we wished we did but didn't at the time. But the past is the past and all we can do is learn from it and move forward. I would say you could strike up a friendship with her ... (read in full...)
What can I do to speed the process up and get her back?
Q. im in need of a little help here. a little background for you, i dated this girl for nearly 4 years. she left me about two months ago to see other people and if we were meant to be together she says we will find our way back to each other. i love ...
A. 24 July 2009: If you're hoping to win your ex back the first thing you should do is cut back all contact with her. Give her space. She sounds like she doesn't know what she wants.
She knows how you feel about her. If she felt the same why would she want... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's blue balls.....he says if I don't give him head he will leave me!
Q. My boyfriend says every time we hang out he gets blue balls and is in pain for hours, even days. It causes him headaches and muscle cramps too. I do plenty of sexual things for him almost every time we hang out. He's tried masturbating beforehand, ...
A. 21 July 2009: Don't fall for that. You shouldn't have to do anything you do NOT want to do. If he was truly having a problem, he doesn't need you, he needs a doctor.
Dump this jerk. good luck... (read in full...)
My husband get angry, throws things and sometimes hits me, what should I do?
Q. hi there, ok my question is more of a long story that i need advice on my husband has this thing where i cant do anything right he will give me a list of things he wants done before he gets home and i will do my best to finish them but he never be...
A. 21 July 2009: Is your husband around at the moment? I know it's probably impossible to pick up and leave this second, but the longer your husband has to know about what's happening, the more of chance there is of him confronting you or refusing to let you take ... (read in full...)
It bothers me that she's slept with so many people. I value sex, and she has just been giving it away
Q. my girlfriend is 19 and so am i. She has had sex with seven different guys, including me, while i've only had sex with her. Ever since she told me about that, i haven't had the same respect for her and i feel like i cant see her the same way. a lot ...
A. 21 July 2009: Is your relationship open or exclusive? If the 2 of you are exclusive to each other, then you are dwelling on her past. The past is the past, you should be enjoying the present with her. We all view sex differently. But I would say if her... (read in full...)
My husband get angry, throws things and sometimes hits me, what should I do?
Q. hi there, ok my question is more of a long story that i need advice on my husband has this thing where i cant do anything right he will give me a list of things he wants done before he gets home and i will do my best to finish them but he never be...
A. 21 July 2009: What everyone else said....
I've heard and seen your story before. If it was just you, you would have to assess the situation for yourself. With kids, they are the priority and do you think it's a good environment your husband is providin... (read in full...)
I need the affection he doesn't give anymore!
Q. i'm really confused about my relationship at the moment and would just like advice on what i should do i've been with my boyfriend for 5 years on and off. currently we've been together for two years ina row but it's changed in some ways. he do...
A. 20 July 2009: Just my opinion but maybe you two need a break. You aren't getting out of the relationship what you need and it doesn't sound like he is either. You've been together for a long time but at your young age, maybe the two of you just need some time ... (read in full...)
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