A
female
age
51-59,
*ulie Wesner
writes:I found out a week ago that my husband of 16 years has been comunicating with Facebook Poker young women, that look, well..."slutty", he doesn't know them, in fact, some are not even American. Some of the things that I saw that he wrote to these women are not what I think a husband should write to any other women! For example... "Nice Ass", "PLEASE put up a larger picture of yourself" (the woman had a see through shirt on and no bra)... and so on! I'm afraid to even think of what else he has written that I'm not aware of! What makes all of this worse is that he feels as though it's no big deal, and he has yet to say that he was sorry...He has only told me that I'm crazy and that I'm all he thinks about... (REALLY???)!!! I'm so sad and upset, and I'm afraid that I'll never get over it! What should I do??? Or am I over-reacting??? Thank You!!!
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female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (24 January 2011):
 hi
how would you husband feel if you were doing the same?
if he would be angry its coz he knows its wrong AND he is a hypocrite.
if he is ok about it, that means he doesn't give s**t what you do.
either way, this ain't right. tell him to stop. if he fails to stop, it means, again, he doesn't care what you think of him. pick your self-worth back up off the floor and make a decision about whether you want to be married to an overgrown teenager any more
xx
A
female
reader, Julie Wesner +, writes (22 January 2011):
Julie Wesner is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you all for your responses!!!! Last night after having somewhat of a panic attack, I demanded that my husband explain to me why he thought it was o.k. to write those things to those women... His response was, "For the hell of it", I explained to him in more of a demanding manner how I felt, and he finally did say that yes it looks bad, but it didn't mean anything. All I can say is that it better not happen again!!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2011): LEAVE HIS ASSSSSS.... if he isn't willing to even apologize, even if he didn't consider it "wrong", just over the idea that it hurt you is a sign that he isn't worth your time. Being single beats being with a guy who has to find women over the internet to show him attention when he has a respectable one at home who isn't unfaithful. As far as I'm concerned, what he did was equivalent to going to a strip club... would you be alright with that?
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A
female
reader, absolutelyinsane  +, writes (22 January 2011):
I have a story to share. My own mother has gotten addicted to FaceBook and has pretty much disappeared from my family's life. Of course, she lives at home with us but her lack of responsibility or effort in our family's relationships compared to her FaceBook 'relationships' is obvious and her priorities have become messed up. Talk to him about it and set the lines of what is acceptable and what is not. Otherwise, this will only get worse.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2011): You are not overreacting at all miss. I think this man is being very passive about issues he feel surrounds your guys' sex life. You should def confront him about what is going on and what his concerns are. He is being very immature about this and should directly communicate what is on his mind instead of going to do the things he is. Very disrespectful I find it. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (22 January 2011):
 You are not crazy at all. But he is pathetic.
Facebook is real people and photos that really (in most instances) are the people they say they are.
Facebook people often then do choose to later connect with the people they correspond with.
Though sometimes people makeout they are someone else in order to entice a person to meet them in person.
There are even documented cases where people have stalked others through the medium of facebook. And at least one murder that I am aware of, where a person first made contact with their murderer on facebook.
There are also many many instances of bullying of through facebook.
Facebook is also an incredible waste of space and time. Shift his computer into a family space so everyone can see what he is looking at.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2011): No I don't think you are over reacting at all. My husband of 13 yrs has been on facebook and used it to contact woman and flirt with them. It has taken a toll on our marriage.Sit down with him and explain how you feel and your concerns. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (22 January 2011):
 No, I don't think you are overreacting -- your husband has definitely crossed the line in what is appropriate for a married man. What would he think if you suddenly started jumping into facebook and hitting on college frat boys?
I think the bottom line is that you need to have a talk with your husband and tell him that you are very disappointed and uncomfortable with what is going on in facebook. Explain to him how it makes you feel. Ask him how he would feel if you were doing that to strange men...
I think his reply and hopefully subsequent apology will tell you volumes about his respect for you and your marriage.
Good luck.
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