A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Two years ago I had started my first job when I had met Dave. As soon as I had layed eyes on him I was infatuated. Within a couple of days knowing him I had made up my mind that I had grew feelings for him. A few weeks later I had found out that he had been in a relationship for a year and a half, and I was crushedAs time went on we had BOTH grew very strong feelings for each other, and he confessed to me that he liked me but nothing would come between him and his girlfriend. By this time they had been dating for 3 years. I know everyone says this but, I have truly and honestly never had as strong as feelings for anyone as I do for Dave. I actually believe that one day we will be married with children, but I'm guessing that is just wishful thinking. Basically I am madly in love with him. However, along the road we had started to meet up and fool around but it was only occasionally, and then as soon as we left each other he would text me and tell me that it was never going to happen again and he feels soo guilty for what he has done to his gf and to me. Then about a week later he will ask me to fool around again. He has ended up cheating on his girlfriend countless times and throughout this whole process he has been giving me mixed emotions, playing with my heart, like for instance as soon as he finds out I am seeing someone else he will start to try and get close with me again so that I don't forget about him, even though he has no intentions of leaving his girlfriend. And every time I think that I may be actually getting over him it's like he knows I am and tries to crawl right back into my life.I really would appreciate it if someone could help me out here with some advice. I've been hurting for soo long now but at the same time I love every mineute of it, and everyone I approach about the situation tells me to move on and I need to stay away from him, but as much as I try to the more it seems impossible to do. Its unbelievably hard, the hardest thing I have ever done as I have also lost my virginty to dave and alot of my dignity. It's easy to say that yes I should never have gotten involved in the first place, but when i first grew feelings for Dave I was unaware of his current relationship and thus my feelings were already to strong. Sometimes I feel as though he is just using me for sex, but other times i feel he genuinely cares for me. I would really appreciate it if someone could give me some sincere advice.Thank you for your time.
View related questions:
crush, move on, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (5 December 2008):
 I know you will be wanting someone to tell you that he will leave his girlfriend for you and that you will together one day but I'm afraid it doesnt look likely, your friends are right in telling you to stay away.The bottom line is that if he really loved you and wanted to be with you then he would have left his girlfriend years ago. But he is with her, so it shows that he loves her and values that relationship over the one he has with you.He is like the cat thats got the cream, he has his girlfriend for all the normal everyday stuff and then you for sex and a bit of excitement. If he genuinely cared about you he would know how much this is hurting you and wouldnt do it to you.Even if all your dreams came true and he left his girlfriend for you, you would always have it in the back of your mind that he is a cheat and that he could do the same thing to you. It is not worth all the heartache and pain, get out of this as soon as you can.It will be the hardest thing in the world for you and it will take years for you to properly get over it but believe me, you deserve someone who wants to be with you all the time. Tell him he has to never contact you again, that is the only way to do it, even delete his number and email address etc. You seem to have waited years for him to leave his girlfriend and he still hasnt, you cant wait for ever. And if he gets jealous when he knows your with someone else then thats classic jealous man behaviour, he doesnt want to be with you but doesnt want anyone to have you either!It will only make you stronger to leave him, it will hurt like hell but with the support of your friends and family you can do it.Be strong and be better than him. Good luck.
|
