A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Does sex life tend to decline after a few years? My girlfriend was virgin when she met me. She used to love sex, was extremely naughty and used to want it more than me. Now few years later she isn't really up for it. She says it not me, she doesn't like foreplay, if we have sex she wants me to go in straight. She does enjoy it during. I use to doubt myself but she says it's not me. It's been over 6months like this. Our relationship is going fine. What could it be? I'm fully active in bed, she doesn't move at all, lies on her back while I'm changing up positions. I'm failing to understand what changed and why she isn't saying anything but says it's fine. Am I lacking? She didn't complain first few years.
View related questions:
foreplay, sex life Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (6 April 2017):
 Is she on medication for anything? Or does she seem stressed or depressed?
It really could be a number off things, has she got self esteem issues? Gained weight? Maybe her libido has just lowered. She does need to make more off an effort though than just lying their. You need to be honest with her about how you feel and how much this is effecting you.
A
female
reader, Caring Aunty A  +, writes (5 April 2017):
 Goodness gracious; she doesn't move at all!? It's no wonder there's a decline in sex... it's so weird no-one has made her wake-up and realise this is not right!? I know there’s her inexperience and we all go through phases but this does not make a great naughty lover.
Certainly there is a medical, cultural, personal issue or preference for not moving when having sex? I simply can't think of anything less enjoyable than making out with a motionless person. It’s like get it over and done with... So how is she possibly that naughty?
Be that it's been months, years of this ritual complacency to just lie there, I'd dig deeper to find the root of this change away from naughtiness. Other than something medical, is either of you overweight, have money problems, work stress, locked into a rut or is the marriage taken for granted?
Normally sex does decline to the average of twice per week over a period of time; but generally not with couples in your age group 22-25 who have no children.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2017): Lack of attention could be part of it, but you would hope she would have said so. Maybe it's just a 'phase-' sex isn't going to be the same all the time and interest from both women and men grows and shrinks.
One thing I would say is don't be scared of sex while she's on her period. It's not as gross as you imagine and the naughtiness might help fireaspark in her again.
It's unfair that she's not willing to talk with you about it, but that's the only thing I can suggest. Pressuring her won't help either so easy!
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2017): I wish she would tell me so we could try new things out. She isn't really up for trying anything new. I have tried to talk to her but I don't get much response, she feels bad and tries to correct it. But I want her to feel it naturally. Although now she is on her period, and she is really naughty but of course we cannot do anything. As soon as she comes off, after our first session it will become back to normal. It must be something I'm doing wrong, could it be lack of attention I give her as I can be busy with work?
...............................
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (1 April 2017):
 Are you still doing the same things you did all those years ago? If so, it is possible she is just bored. Or maybe what you used to do stopped working for her (our bodies do change - what worked a few years ago may not necessarily work now).
If she wants to skip the foreplay, it sounds like she just wants to get sex over with as quickly as possible.
I doubt she is happy with your sex life but without telling you what needs to change you may never know. Ask her what she would like to try and listen to what she says. Be open-minded to trying new things.
...............................
|
