A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have posted here before..I really need my awesome aunt and uncles help again. My boyfriend and I just got back together. We were split up for two months. We split up because one day he just wouldnt return my calls or texts. 4 days go by, I delete him off facebook and tell him its over. We finally talk on the phone, he said he was scared because he wanted to tell me he loves me. So he ignored me..I didnt understand. I then wanted to work it out. He said he fjust felt "cold" towards me. I asked him if there was another woman, he said there was a hirl at a store he was training at that he had been texting. Well, I find out a few days ago he moved in with her, made her his girlfriend, etc. She left him for her husband. He tells me now he was only with her to get over me, and that he didnt care about her at all. I vant help but feel he used every excuse to run me off so he could be with her. Maybe curious for something new.So I ask you guys, is me forgiving him and trying to believe what he says a long shot? He tells me after he got with her he realized he should be with me. And he missed me like crazy. How do I trust him again, not to crush me like he did before? I really need help :(
View related questions:
crush, facebook, got back together, move on, moved in, split up, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (15 November 2013):
 I think you should trust your feelings that he's using excuses for running off. He's now using excuses for running back. If the husband hadn't returned, do you honestly believe he'd be back with you? You know him best, but this has a smell of bullsh*t about it, and personally I don't think he's worth any more of your time. You deserve so much better than this liar and cheat.
A
male
reader, M Proops +, writes (15 November 2013):
He was the one who was dumped by the other woman.He's spinning you a pack of lies,he does not love you,tell him to get lost.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2013): You are not responsible for what other women did to your boyfriend. If an old girlfriend cheated on him, what does that have to do with you? If he isn't over what happened to him then, that means he wasn't ready to start another relationship. You deserve a guy free of baggage. You can forgive him. Make him take some responsibility for how he treats you. You only deserve to be held accountable for what you do that hurts him. Do not let him exploit your good nature; because he has a talent for summoning up convenient BS from the past to fit the occasion; to justify when he's a total jerk to you.The guy is equipped with a built-in excuse for everything he does. No matter how much it stinks. If you're going to take him back. Make him earn your trust and treat you with respect. You have nothing to prove. He was so torn up about breaking up; he just had to shack up with another woman whom he didn't care about. After all, she's only another human being, and her feelings don't matter. Do what's right for yourself, my dear.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (15 November 2013):
 Bid him a sad goodbye. He does not have your back, he is not in your corner, he is not concerned for your feelings or well-being. He is not your best friend or lover or a good prospect for either.
Say goodbye and MOVE ON!
...............................
A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (15 November 2013):
 Do what your heart tells you. Maybe he learned from this. But I wholeheartedly believe he's full of it.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe had an ex who cheated on him for 3 years. He told me he got "cold feet" and ranaeay because he was so scared he would end up letting me walk on him like he did her. We have 2 mutual friends and they were always telling me how he would ask about me. He said he had no feelings for her and actually, the husband ended up moving in with the oth of them. And then my bf moved out. Im so confused.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2013): First-off, it was too easy for him to leave you for another woman. Do you honestly believe he didn't respond to your contact attempts; because he was scared to tell you he loves you? Seriously!?Two months wasn't enough time for you to get over him. He had a whole new relationship; and another bed to keep him warm and snugly, while you suffered. Do you really think you were the woman on his mind, while he was gone for two months? How convenient. He can say a few words, and pickup where he left off. Just kickback, and all is good.Hey, you are a forgiving person and you obviously love the guy. I will not throw crap on your feelings like he has. I just think you should consider all the facts. He moved in with her. I believe him when he said he didn't care about her. That would raise a huge red-flag for me. He said he felt cold toward you. Alrighty! So he can turn his feelings on and off like a faucet. I will not tell you not to forgive him. You haven't really.Deep inside you feel total rage for being treated so badly; but you're suppressing what you truly feel; because you just wanted him back.Well, wait until he pisses you off. That's the real test of how you feel about him, and how forgiven he really is. Deep down inside, you're a woman scorned. You were weakened by the grief of your breakup; but your real feelings will surface when you see the jerk for what he really is.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (14 November 2013):
 I say forgive him, not for his sake but for yours. BUT DO NOT get back together. This will become a pattern for him. Just lying to you and making HIS actions all your fault.
I'm sorry he didn't text the chick and make her his GF and MOVE in with her because of how STRONGLY he felt for you - what a load of crap! That is called reflection. He ISN'T TAKING THE BLAME for cheating on you. He is in a roundabout way making it YOUR fault he started all this with the chick. WHICH it ISN'T.
He used you, then he used her and now he wants to USE you again. Honey, walk away now. Before you waste any more time and emotions on this. And before he gets you convinced that he isn't a lying pile of pooh.
TRUST your got. You ended it because you KNEW something was up. That is why you ASKED him about another woman. BECAUSE YOU KNEW.
So you have GOOD instincts. You DUMPED him, again GOOD instincts - so my question is WHY get back with him?
Want to bet he wants YOU back because the other chick went back to her hubby?
Sorry, I would ditch that loser in a heart beat.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2013): please don't fall for his rubbish!! how long were you even together?
I agree with the previous comment, he is a liar and a user! had that woman not up and left he would still be happy with her! don't listen to his rubbish and please don't be his second best, you are worth more!
...............................
A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (14 November 2013):
okay, here's exactly what happened. he met this girl, most likely had a thing behind your back for a while (not necessarily, but more likely than not), and then decided to leave you for her. once he got the green light with this girl to be together, he didn't even have the respect to contact you and formally tell you. he just went off and ignored you like you were nothing to him. which is horrific, if you ask me. he was perfectly content and happy with his decision for a couple of months until it blew up in his face when this girl up and left him for her husband. then he came crawling back to you with a million excuses about how he messed up and missed you the whole time. he even went so low as to mention loving you but being scared.
this guy is a liar, probably a cheater, and a manipulator. he showed you exactly how much you meant to him when he pulled a houdini and disappeared on you. he couldn't even give you the courtesy of a phone call? b*tch please lol. i'd tell him where he could stick it. let him live with his decisions. he respected you and your feelings so little he couldn't even be bothered to formally break up with you. that's dirty. tell him that you're done and you will never give him the time of day again.
...............................
|
