A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear Aunts and Uncles, I would like you to put your detective hats on and help me out please.The Brief:So I've known this guy for a few months but I have a suspicion that he may be married and would really like your opinion.Facts:Since we have met we have NEVER been out on a date He promised to take me out for my birthday but something came up (see below). He has a busy social life, always out with his mates. I have met his friends and to be honest, I wouldn't trust any of them with the rubbish in my bin! When we have met it has ALWAYS been at my flat. Since we have met he has missed important days. He missed my birthday because his mate was having a major business crisis. When I met his mate, I asked him about it casually, he had difficulty remembering it, which is odd given that this crisis could have ended his business.He couldn't see me on valentine's day because he was ill. I didn't see him on Xmas day, New Year's day etc.He never spends more than a couple of hours with me before he has to go to 'see a mate'.He has NEVER stayed the night with me.He goes quiet for days on end and when he does text, he manages to send me 2 before he goes quiet again.He's taken time off work but never met up with me on his days off.For his birthday I got him some expensive aftershave. For my birthday (25 days after the event) I got a cheap box of chocolates and a cheaper birthday card!So there are the facts, what do you think? All opinions/thoughts welcome.Thanks
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (20 February 2010):
 The best answer is to become a detective yourself. When you have the time , go and observe where he goes and what he does or ask a friend to help out.
You can only speculate and it is not 100% .
A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (20 February 2010):
 I'm sorry but absolutely without a doubt, married.
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A
female
reader, Chantelle x +, writes (20 February 2010):
 From this my thoughts are that he is married. As you have said all the facts are there and they all pointing to him being taken. I would keep away or keep your distance before you fall for him.
Just go with your instinct and things will work out...
Good luck xx
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A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (19 February 2010):
If it looks like a duck; walks, quacks... Its a duck. You are probably right that he is in a relationship. Try find his home phone number and phone and ask for Mrs. If she says this is she then pretend to sell insurance or something. Don't just hang up because he will know it was you who called.
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A
female
reader, Anonny +, writes (19 February 2010):
I would say either married or not very interested! - I was involved with a man like this - who could only meet for an hour or two at a time - it turned out he was still with his partner!
Beware of your instincts - they happen for a reason and are usually right!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI met this guy online and i know his home address and where he works etc.
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A
female
reader, sarcy24 +, writes (19 February 2010):
 Not necessarily but definitely has a lot going on in his life and doesn't want to be tied down. I think he may be seeing other people and using his mates to cover. Personally i would carry on seeing him but not get too involved and see how it pans out. He will slip up soon enough if there is more going on. How did you meet him, what do you know about where he lives. Friends will often lie and cover if asked but are not very often convincing as you have found out.
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A
female
reader, MissKin +, writes (19 February 2010):
 I'm thinking 'marrried or with partner', but only because you mentioned it lol.
I'm not sure if he IS married. there's definitely something flakey going on. But maybe that's all it is? maybe thats the kind of person he is? Or maybe he IS married. If you're not sure... then it doesn't sound like too much of a relationship and he really doesn't sound very doting or loving. Maybe u should forget about him, regardless of if he's married or not, and move on?
Or you could just confront him :)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2010): Married or not,he`s not exactly boyfriend material. I would say he probably is attached in some way,yes.
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A
female
reader, ElectricSheep  +, writes (19 February 2010):
 Well, it could be that he's married, or that he has a girlfriend. His behavior does seem sneaky. Ask him, that's the only way to know for sure.
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