A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My old teacher and i finally started talking about hooking up, especially now that i am graduating in 10 days. i know i shouldnt do thisI only told him i liked him. i told him i never had a motive besides to just get that off my chest. in the texts i told him that hanging out with him woulod tease me and i told him to take careThats when he texted me weeks later saying hes thinking bout me, asking how im doing, saying he wants to see me soon.This guy is on his second marriage. I found a way to contact his first wife because i wanted some answers. She seems to think he was cheating because within 24 hours after she left him, he had already got a new girlfriend.Now he is with his second wife and has 2 kids. i went to see him face to face and he couldnt stop smiling and giving me these big googley eyes. he says hes never hooked up with a student before because hes never had the desire, theres just somethin about me that always gets his heart racing. supoosably hes had dreams about us and he wants me to make them come true. is this all bullshit to get in my pants? (dont be afraid to be blunt)i want him, but i know i need to back off. Im not trying to play innocnent because i know im not. i know this probably want the best way to tel him no, but i tried to make him feel guilty and told him id pick up the slack if his wife wasnt doing her job. he stopped responding. do you think thats it now? i thought that making him think about his wife would turn him off and make him rethink having an affair with me. he never responded to that text so do you think i did tuirn him away?Im fully aware that this situation is wrong but please help me with those two questions. Please no speaches on morals because like ive said i know this is worng
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (17 May 2010):
 Yes, it is bullshit to get into your pants.
He didn't respond to the text about you picking up the slack if his wife wasn't doing her job because he is still having sex with his wife and will continue to do so whether or not he 'hooks up' with you. He doesn't want to have to explain that to you, so he's ignoring it.
A
female
reader, Carrot2000 +, writes (17 May 2010):
 Saying you'll pick up the slack if his wife is not doing her job is NOT the way to get a married man to back off. If anything, you gave him a signal that you're willing to sleep with him. I don't know why he didn't respond, but I can almost guarantee it isn't because he's feeling guilty about cheating on his wife.
My advice: stay away, do not respond to his advances, ignore his texts and phone calls.
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A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (17 May 2010):
 I won't lecture you on morals. I will tell you that you are one of many girl's he has told the same tale to. 'My wife doesn't understand me...you are the first girl I have liked'. It is a ploy to make young girls feel flattered and then have sex. I think having a man with such an attitude in education is a danger to young women full stop as he is abusing his professional position to obtain personal services. He didn't respond because you maybe one of many girl's he is texting and he got lucky somewhere else. For him it will be about fulfilling his sexual needs not having an emotional connection with another person.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (17 May 2010):
 Of course it wall all bullshit to get into your pants. Luckily,he did not want it badly enough,because one text has been sufficient to scare him away.
I agree that your text was not the best way to say no,in fact it's a blatant come-hither. But perhaps either,like you say, the mention of his wife chilled his ardour, or he
could be a man who is uncomfortable with sexually aggressive women.
So,probably and hopefully,that's it. But if he should contact you again- just don't reply.
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