A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:hi all,just started a new relationship with a really nice guy.....the relationship didnt start well i was seeing someone casually which broke off and he flirted with a female friend to make me jealous.i went over his last night and as we've dated for a while i assumed we'd sleep together....anyway we got into bed lots of foreplay and then he suddenly goes i promised myself i wouldnt sleep with you...this confused me badly...i thought he was playing hard to get but i couldnt persuade him..when i asked him to explain he said that he wanted to see if i liked him enough to wait...he wants to see if i'll go elsewhere and he mentioned that he thought i wasnt serious about himi find this really unfair....we both played games in the begining and i am serious and he says he is.....i didnt know what to do to prove my 'seriousness' so i changed my facebook status to in a relationship with him ( a quick way of letting everyone know)do you think this is a mistake as im unsure how he will react.thanks for any help
View related questions:
facebook, flirt, foreplay, jealous Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Annalisa +, writes (2 September 2008):
 If this is a new relationship, he has every right to want to take things slow and you shouldn't assume that just because you're "serious about him" you should have sex.
It takes time to get to know someone well enough to truely be serious about them;
have you even known him long enough to discuss getting checked for STDs?
As for the Facebook thing, it's a word, it's how you get e-mails and photos from friends, they will read it and think you're engaged or something, if they care at all.
You're being a little immature about this relationship, if I may say so, just accept that it's still early days and that you both need to get to know each other, it's about actions over time, not words on a screan!
God bless and good luck!
A
female
reader, a Ginger-Rabbit-Fairy  +, writes (2 September 2008):
 If you haven't consulted him then he may be a little surprised, but I'm sure he won't mind.At least you haven't changed your relationship status to 'engaged to (his hot best mate)' - now that would be very silly!Your new guy sounds quite insecure, so make sure you keep reminding him how much you like him and value his company. If he is prepared to wait then you're obviously very special to him.Did he accept your request to be in a relationship (on Facebook)?x
...............................
A
female
reader, JennayyyCx3  +, writes (2 September 2008):
 Its not a mistake to show people that your in a relationship..which you are in. He cant really get mad cause thats what it is, a relationship. This is really strange though cause you would THINK the guy would be the one to want to have sex and the girl wouldnt..but anyway...hes basicly testing you..hes saying "If you really like me that much, you will wait" so if you break up with him because of this, that will just prove that you didnt really like him that much. Tell him "I'll do whatever it takes to show you that i'm serious because i honestly care about you" And hopefully thats truee?? But act like you dont even remember him saying it..act like it doesnt bother you because if you like him it shouldnt. Yeahh i guess i would feel kinda hurt because after that amount of time he still doesnt trust you, but earning trust takes longer for others.
...............................
A
female
reader, Aunty Em +, writes (2 September 2008):
 You say you don't know what to 'do' to prove your seriousness - but, it's quite clear what he wants you to do. He wants to see if you like him enough to be willing to wait. That's all you have to do - if you are serious. Just wait until he's come to a conclusion that you are. I doubt it'll take longer than a few weeks.As for changing your facebook status, what does that prove? You could change it back within a click! If you were to do that, I think you should discuss it with him first. Ask him if it's alright for you to let people know you're in a relationship with him - he'd see that as a sign of seriousness a lot more as to just doing it by yourself.Good Luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, marieclaire  +, writes (2 September 2008):
 i think if facebook is a factor in your relationship you have a serious maturity problem. have a talk with him
...............................
|
