Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2012): dating sites may seem easier for some to cheat. it seems more actuajy get caught. dont get mixed up cause dating sites are there for those who cant form relationships or maybe dont get approached in bars. just cause its a dating site does not make it any less than cheating with someone you meet in a bar. if anything its worse cause its more deliberate.
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female
reader, Jeanette82  +, writes (15 October 2012):
Jeanette82 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you everyone. I will not be going back, but I do know I would not have left if it was n`t for his dating site obsession.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2012): You have been abused. The abuser is likely to be a narcissist. He will not have known he was hurting you because narcisists believe they are the only ones with feelings. He may even feel he's had a bad deal out of it, because you left and refused to tolerate it. You was a victim of mental and emotional abuse. You are better staying as far away from him as you can.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2012): Do not keep looking back at who was bad. Look ahead at what and who will be good. You are young with life ahead of you. Your ex blew it. What has he got now?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2012): Why are you wasting your time working out the mind of an internet serial cheat? You should be glad it is over. Forget it, he is in the past.
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female
reader, Jeanette82 +, writes (14 October 2012):
Jeanette82 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo the anonymous reply who suggested something was missing. I did ask several times but whatever was missing was not easy to work out when he always lied and denied about being on them.
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female
reader, delightful84 +, writes (14 October 2012):
You have rightfully ended your relationship. I would not go looking for closure because it is unlikely you will find it. If anything, you may end up feeling more confused. You have got rid of someone who was killing your feeling of confidence well being. Celebrate it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2012): If something was missing there are choices of him telling you or ending it. He chose to cheat. The problem was with him, not you. He will do the same again, because that is the way he is. Not being happy, feeling neglected and lack of communication are excuses. Do not go back to a man who 'chose' to cheat on you. Online cheating is the most cowardly way of cheating there is. It also indictates desperation, because imo attractive people dont depend on online dating.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2012): there is something missing in your relationship seems it maybe lack of verbal communication that is why many people have affairs online or in real life wether it is emotional or physical
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female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (13 October 2012):
 Like Youwish, I also know of a couple whose marriage broke down after he was caught having a cyber affair. They have 2 children together. His wife kicked him out, and he married the other woman. I do wonder if he is having more cyber affairs now, but his behaviour disgusted me so much that I no longer have contact.
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female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (13 October 2012):
 It's as addictive as real life serial cheating, and just as serious of an issue. I've personally known two people who blew up real life relationships with online affairs (one broke up a marriage, one was a long-term common law relationship). In both cases, the cyber affairs led to real affairs which led to marrying their online affair partners.
Oh yeah, and one of the two couples (the one who blew up the marriage for an online affair) divorced again due to a new online affair.
You were right to get out of that relationship, just as right as if you had caught him red-handed in bed with a neighbor.
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male
reader, bronzed adonis +, writes (13 October 2012):
 It is no more addictive than any other form of cheating.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2012): You are missing one vital point. Cyber affairs when you already have a partner is cheating. '''Do people throw away their real life relationship for the sake of cheating?''' yes they do, but they don't mean to. You were'nt supposed to find out. Luckily you did. Good riddance.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2012): I have been on the bad end of a compulsive online dater a few years ago. I don`t think they do it with the belief they will throw away their real relationship, I think they do it with the intent of meeting up later, and think it`s harder to get caught. It is just the modern way of cheating or through their lack of opportunity to cheat on you in real life.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2012): People on the internet who do that, imo are doing it with the intention of meeting up. It is just a modern form of cheating.
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female
reader, thinkb4  +, writes (13 October 2012):
Don`t make any mistakes. He was cheating on you. He probably thought he wouldn't get caught.
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (13 October 2012):
 Yes, it happens. An online "relationship" can seem better in many ways, you don't have to pick up after the other person, if you have a bad day they hopefully cheer you up. You can omit everything you don't want the other person to know and so forth.
JUST like a fantasy can seem better then reality - an online relationship can seem "better" then a real one.
He wants to have strangers constantly boosting his ego. That is why he keeps doing what he is doing. You know him for who he is. They don't. Online he can be whomever he wants.
Honestly, I think you need to let him go. Find a guy who can deal with REALITY. This is NOT you, it's HIM.
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (13 October 2012):
 A person in a real relationship would not want to seek online affairs. It's only fun for him when it's secretive, so he doesn't want you to go otherwise he would see how empty is life is. When you let him go so that he is free to pursue others, he will be at a total lost. A person who can only love what he can't have cannot handle a real relationship. He wants all the passion and excitement skipping all the mundane routines, adjusting and compromising that are necessary to keep a relationship alive. Don't think about what he wants. Be more selfish in your case. He can't give you happiness so you have to end it.
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female
reader, Atsweet1 +, writes (13 October 2012):
 Of course some people do because there relationship was built on lies anyway so why not throw out trash. A place for everthing and everything in its place. Now if you with someone of quality and of substance you don't even entertain online avartars well I don't.
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female
reader, KaileyLove +, writes (13 October 2012):
 Yes, I can see it happening.
I am a victim of this. I don't throw away a real relationship for some harmless online flirting, but I, however, cannot resist the urge to fly into the arms of my online friend even while I have a boyfriend.
It's just because while someone who is right next to you may be great, having someone who seems so perfect, so fitting for you is so far away, it brings some excitement to the table.
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