New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login239967 questions, 1061615 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

*elightful84

United Kingdom  (Female   XML/RSS

Like what she writes?
... Add *elightful84 to your favourite agony aunts

Want to get in touch?
... Send *elightful84 a private message

*elightful84's Ratings
Excellent79%
Average8%
Poor13%
123Next > [3 pages, 87 answers]

Why am I so unlucky in love?

Q.   I am 40 yr old single mum of a 7year old boy who I adore .I have a great job wonderful family and friends.I am on numerous dating sitessnd for the past 3.5 years have had several relationships/stroke flings. I always get caught up in the romance and ...

A.   10 August 2014: Try looking somewhere else than a dating site.... (read in full...)

My boyfriend hides couples photos of us on facebook but the ones with his ex girlfriend are there for all to see!

Q.   Hi there, nothing major. just a quick question. My boyfriend keeps hiding photos of us together from his facebook timeline thing. This is going to sound very petty, but I'm just a bit worried that he's embarrassed about me or somethin...

A.   29 June 2014: He showed off his ex and you are kept like a dirty little secret? Until I hear otherwise, I have a sneaky suspicion that he is hiding you, and maybe even from his ex. It is not petty or controlling. You are supposed to be a couple and you need answ... (read in full...)

Am I not floating his boat?

Q.   Curiosity got the better of me......I met a guy on a dating website and we have been meeting regularly for approx 6 weeks .....I deleted my account as I can only concentrate on one person at a time but today I re-registered to see if he was still on ...

A.   13 June 2014: I agree with olderthandirt. Get dressed up, love yourself and get out into the real world. I think most dating site guys are in it for only one thing, and there is always that feeling that if you keep looking, they just might find a supermodel. Just ... (read in full...)

He's ignoring me & I don't know why

Q.   I have been getting to know this guy and we have gotten close but not really in a full relationship, more like friends taking it slow. I do want more and had hoped for this in the future. Because he is getting over a break up I am not pushing ...

A.   7 June 2014: He is aged 41-50 and he behaves like that? They say men never grow up, but he`s ridiculous. He isnt someone off a dating site is he? ... (read in full...)

I'm tired of the double standards! Whats up with her?

Q.   I have been dating for about 9 months now and it is not a casual thing and does look like things will progress more eventually. After saying this, I am at a loss over a certain trait. She can be rather jealous and unduly curious about what I do, an...

A.   7 June 2014: That is exactly how my ex behaved. I later found he was addicted to dating sites and desperately trying to cheat on me. She needs checking out, because people who cheat sometimes think because they are like that, then everyone else must be. Like ... (read in full...)

I'm telling the truth now, how do I get him to accept that and have faith in me again?

Q.   I admit to lying quite as lot to my boyfriend about being on some internet sites. That was a few months ago now. Since I stopped going to these sites, he has now stopped believing me. We break up every week, get back together and have a real loving ...

A.   31 May 2014: How do you make him have faith in you again? The thing is, he now knows what you are capable of, so it will be extremely difficult, if not impossible. By the way you sound, I think he would be extremely gullible or stupid to put faith in you, beca... (read in full...)

My boyfriend keeps registering on dating sites and tells me it's just "for a laugh"

Q.   Could some one advise me what to do please? I have found my boyfriend to be registering on different date sites. This is the fourth time I found out about it now. He says its just for a laugh and unregisters from them, but then secretly registers on ...

A.   25 May 2014: There is nothing funny about this. Dump him. Dont listen to anything he`s has to say. I have had experience of a dating site addict. Nothing ever changes.... (read in full...)

If he's happy then why is he still on dating sites?

Q.   Hi everyone, I am hoping someone (preferably with experience of this) could shed some light on my problem. I have been seeing my boyfriend for a bit more than three years. He says he is happy. If he is happy, then why does he keep going to dating ...

A.   21 November 2013: I have got experience of this. It never stopped, and it probably still hasnt. Most of his reactions were no different either. There were times where I was told I was seeing things. The best thing you can do is make him your ex. It wont be long befo... (read in full...)

Looking for help with emotionally unavailable guy.

Q.   I don't know if this is a long shot but I'm looking for some advice and help with dealings I have with a guy. He is emotionally unavailable, he is my fwb ( when he fancies it!!) and I'm not sure if you'd call him a player. Anyway so I'm hoping to...

A.   19 November 2013: If you try playing games with someone who`s not that much into you, it will be you who loses. The best thing you can do is get rid and ignore him. Whether you do that or not, is another thing.... (read in full...)

Can she never trust me again?

Q.   I was caught a few times on dating sites by my beautiful girl. I did deny it at first, but now I have owned up to all of them, what she knew about. I have not been on them for a while, but she wont believe that. She is constantly interrog...

A.   12 November 2013: I caught my ex out several times on dating sites. Have you not stopped and thought just once, to what it feels like to be in her situation? It doesnt seem like you have. Why should she trust you? I wouldnt. She is behaving in exactly the same way ... (read in full...)

I feel so inferior when I hear the word "porn"

Q.   I have a fear of porn, whenever I hear the word I immediately think of better looking women who are good at sex and it makes feel small. I've always had problems, my first boyfriend was a porn addict ever since then I always had it in mind that ...

A.   4 November 2013: I tolerated porn watching once. I never really liked it but I put up with it. It was later on when I caught him on dating sites and adult chat sites that the real problems started. I now realise that porn and real life women are far diff... (read in full...)

Should you reveal what you did in the past?

Q.   What does everyone think about revealing a shameful episode of cheating on a previous partner to a future partner? If cheating took place in a long , supposedly committed relationship, and went on for a few months then is this something that n...

A.   4 November 2013: I will be surprised if you`re not paranoid about being cheated on yourself. A lot who cheat, have a fear that they themself may get cheated on. Cheating is not clever, anyone can do it if they want. It`s not really worth it is it? You`re not even... (read in full...)

Flirting online but blames me... can you explain his behaviour?

Q.   Any psychologists that can analyse this man? I recently left my husband and this man offered support. At first he was so romantic and supportive, he told my friend how stunning I am and how he couldn't believe his luck but he soon changed....

A.   20 September 2013: I am not a psychologist. It does not need a psychologist to tell you he is bad news.... (read in full...)

I've seen her on online dating sites but she won't admit it

Q.   I have been dating my girlfriend for just over 18 months. Recently I have found her 3 times on dating sites. We have argued and almost broken up over it. Even though I saw it with my own eyes, she is still denying it. Is it just a bit of a joke? or ...

A.   7 September 2013: What does any of it matter? Just dump her.... (read in full...)

She hasn't invited me to her friends' wedding?

Q.   My girlfriend has been invited to one of her friend's wedding next month (an ex, but they're still friends, which is totally fine with me by the way). It's in the middle of a week we both have off on holiday. Anyway, she told me that it didn't come ...

A.   24 August 2013: To be honest with you, I think you need to surround yourself with people who respect you more, and value your prescence. That includes your girlfriend too.... (read in full...)

Nearly two years after breaking up and I'm still not over her

Q.   Why do I still cry now and again over a break up that happened 20 months ago? We were together 5 years then she ended it saying she wanted to be on her own. Within a month she had someone else. Only after the break up did I discover she had...

A.   13 August 2013: I did the meet someone else to get over an ex once. It caused a lot of grief, if you are with someone, simply to get over someone else. It fails, and after doing it I realised it`s very selfish on the other person.... (read in full...)

I called my partner out on his lies, he promised to stop but doesn't show me as much affection anymore.

Q.   I met my partner a year ago. It was wonderful to begin with, then I discovered his lies. Started with hiding porn, then he was mailing women behind my back when I was at work, then one evening on his phone he had signed up to a swingers website ...

A.   8 August 2013: Dump him. Eddie85 is right. Porn is bad enough, but actively seeking people for a relationship or sex is cheating with a capital C. ... (read in full...)

What's more wrong? Checking your boyfriend's phone or your boyfriend betraying you?

Q.   What is more wrong? Checking on your boyfriends phone or finding out he has betrayed you? Seemingly he said I would never of got hurt and I shouldn't have gone looking...

A.   2 August 2013: People dont like being snooped on, only when they have things to hide. He is trying to shift blame onto you by saying that. If you are not a natural snooper, then it sounds very much like your inner senses were telling you somethings not right abou... (read in full...)

Could he actually be interested? Do guys after a FWB relationship usually make a point of keeping in touch every day, making 'dates' in advance?

Q.   Thanks to a lack of willing participants, a casual acquaintance and I ended up having a night out at the pub. We're both single and ended up going back to his place. We had an amazing few hours and crashed out. He was supposed to be heading out f...

A.   16 March 2013:  "I'll have ice-cream for dessert every day because I enjoy it, but if one day someone offers me chocolate sauce to go with it, I won't turn it down. The prospect of improving something does not mean that the original serving is not what I wanted in ... (read in full...)

Should I leave my boyfriend because of his addiction to cyber sex?

Q.   Hello Dear Cupids I discovered my boyfriend had been emailing female contacts he has on yahoo and also paltalk, to talk about sex. I discovered after I checked his computer after he had repeatedly clicked off the screen quickly when I came in t...

A.   24 February 2013: This to me, imo, is far far worse than a man looking at or addicted to porn (which is bad enough). He is interacting with a real person. He is cheating and is determined to carry on cheating. He is getting off and probably masturbating over a real ... (read in full...)

Girlfriend on site to cheat with married man. Is it time to end things?

Q.   I have found out my girlfriend of 2 years went onto a site that is designed for married people to cheat on each other. Her friend told me. I am surprised she told her anyway. She wrote that she is single and looking for an uncomplicated no strings ...

A.   23 February 2013: i am not surprised you are grossed out. She sounds nasty.... (read in full...)

I'm supposed to be getting married in May. My fiance has been again been caught talking sexual on dating sites!

Q.   I am supposed to be getting married in June. The honeymoon is even booked. After the wedding she would have been moving into my house. We have been together for over 5 years. It has been an off and on relationship for the last 3 years. Mainly d...

A.   21 February 2013: Cancel the wedding and the honeymoon. You have been spared a life of torment. She is selfish, narcissistic, and not in touch with any ones feelings but her own.... (read in full...)

Are my own actions becoming part of the problem in our relationship? I don't want to lose him. What should I do?

Q.   I have so many trust issue, that it is going into my relationship with the person I am in love with. I really want to marry this man, but i find my self pushing him away from me. I have been hurt so much in my life and i have hurt him. i think he...

A.   11 February 2013: You are going to have to stop or you will lose him for good. If someone gave me something and then wanted it back, I would never accept anything again, or trust their sincerity ever again. He seems to have been patient up to now so see someone ... (read in full...)

Online dating -- I'm an idiot...

Q.   I met a man online, I haven't dated for a while by choice...but we seemed to have a lot in common. I spoke to him via the site for a while and then we moved on to phone and text and we texted back and forth all day everyday. We agreed to meet and ...

A.   10 February 2013: You will not be his first or his last. Why not get yourself made up and go out? It seems that people are becoming very desperate and men like him are waiting to take advantage of that.... (read in full...)

Why didn't he tell me about this close female friend of his? Why has he saved hundreds of emails? And why is he buying this woman gifts that I don't even know about?

Q.   I don't know if I'm overreacting or not... I hope someone can help me clear this up in my head. I have discovered that my husband of less than a year has a close female friend that until the other day, I did not know about. I found out when he left ...

A.   9 February 2013: He has not told you about this close female friend of his because it`s his dirty little secret.... (read in full...)

She has started going on dating sites, in front of me. She tells me there is better than me out there. What should I do?

Q.   I have lived with my girlfriend for 5 years. We have both decided against getting married and have no children (she doesnt want any). Everything has been steady and we have always got on. Over the past 6 months she has got into a twice weekly g...

A.   6 February 2013: I have seen friends like her too. She needs someone to hang out with. You are a threat because she needs your girlfriend. If she was successful in breaking you up, then the moment she herself meets a new guy, she will drop your girlfriend like hot ... (read in full...)

Why will my girlfriend not stop going on dating sites?

Q.   I have been with my girlfriend just short of two years. She has been going on dating sites like it`s a habit for at least the past year. She has lied and lied about it, but she surely knows that I know different. We have been broke up over Christmas ...

A.   6 January 2013: You have been right in saying she can go on dating sites but not while she is with you. She is still on them, so I dont think there would be any point in giving her another chance. It seems like a kick in the teeth that she is still on them. As if ... (read in full...)

Was he over the top to break up over this after 2 years together? Was he looking for an excuse?

Q.   My boyfriend and I broke up in April of this year. He had found out I was on dating sites again. I did not want to meet anyone, because I was in love with him. I used to go on dating sites to tease the guys on them and had no intention of meet...

A.   24 December 2012: For some reason I am finding most of what you say hard to believe. So how many times were you caught flirting online. Sorry, I meant to say teasing men. Twice, Three times perhaps? Why do I feel like everything you have said is slightly twisted ... (read in full...)

Why is he still lying? Yet begging to resume our relationship? Will he change or continue to go on dating sites if we get back together?

Q.   I dumped my boyfriend about 3 weeks ago for going on dating sites and sex texting with girls. He could not even explain who these girls were, so I assumed they were from dating sites. He is still lying and says he never went on those dating s...

A.   20 December 2012: If he thinks there`s nothing wrong with being on dating sites when he is with you, then he wont think there`s anything wrong when he`s not. I think him saying he was on one for a joke is just trying to pull the wool over your eyes. He is a joke. ... (read in full...)

Her parents are staying with us over Christmas, but I've found she is having sexual conversations with strangers on the internet! Should I confront her now, or wait until her parents have gone? I'm really disgusted and thinking about leaving...

Q.   My girlfriends parents are due from overseas to visit and stay over christmas. It will be the third time I have met them and we get on great. I have now discovered my girlfriend is having relationships and sexual conversations with strangers over ...

A.   19 December 2012: If her parents mention anything to you, that`s if you see them, then tell them the truth. Sometimes in laws do not automatically turn against you, because they probably know her and what she is capable of far better than you do. Whatever happens ... (read in full...)

If he really loves me and wants to marry me, then why does he keep joining dating sites?

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years. The last 2 have gotten rather bumpy because he keeps talking to girls on dating sites. He has asked me to marry him but because he lies to me about his dating sites it makes me too afraid to marry ...

A.   18 December 2012: He does not care about you. He cares only about himself. What is the point in being with someone who makes you unhappy?... (read in full...)

She wont give up the dating sites and chat rooms, what can I do? I don't want to leave our son....

Q.   I have been living with my common law for 6 years and we have a 5 year old boy. For the last 18 months we have constantly argued over her use of dating and adult related chat room type websites. Just as always, I think we are getting back on the ...

A.   17 December 2012: Please do not take this as an attack on the anonymous female poster. It is not healthy to stay in a relationship with someone who`s answer to sorting out a need for constant attention, is to go online (or offline) to find it. What happens when she ... (read in full...)

While house-sitting for my girlfriend, I discovered she is not the person she lead me to believe she is.

Q.   So I have been with my girlfriend about 4 months and I thought things were going great. We got serious very quickly however and ended up spending almost every day together. Lately I've felt very uncertain about several things I've discover...

A.   2 December 2012: btw. Unlike the unnamed females who says most girls are like that, she may be, but you can be assured "most girls are not like that" and will be far easier to find than the ones who are. Get rid.... (read in full...)

While house-sitting for my girlfriend, I discovered she is not the person she lead me to believe she is.

Q.   So I have been with my girlfriend about 4 months and I thought things were going great. We got serious very quickly however and ended up spending almost every day together. Lately I've felt very uncertain about several things I've discover...

A.   2 December 2012: I do not believe this has anything to do with you. She wants to blame you for her dishonesty, issues and feelings of personal shame. Why did she not discuss anything with you before all this came out? It is an attempt to get victim status and make ... (read in full...)

I dumped him because of the dating sites, but he's still on them meeting new people! How do I overcome my anger?

Q.   I have broke up from a 2 year relationship. It was my decision. He would not stop visiting datimg sites and always lied to me about it or said he went on them because I nagged him all the time. Now, the same account he said wasnt his is still there ...

A.   30 November 2012: Stop following what he is doing, if you know it`s going to wind you up. You know he likes dating sites, so move on to someone else who doesn`t. "You" are stopping yourself from going forward with your life.... (read in full...)

He cried, real tears, but guess what!

Q.   Just over two months ago I left my dating site obsessed boyfriend of four years. I accepted dating sites were part of his life and always will be. He has suddenly started trying to get me back again with the same old bull shit and accused me of ...

A.   23 November 2012: I think he just cant get anyone else and that`s all there is to it.... (read in full...)

My ex is trying to win me back but has an online profile that he visits every day???

Q.   Not sure if I want to continue reuniting with my ex-bf. We had been together for 12 years, living together for 6 of those, then he left me in a most cowardly sort of way. Then, after about two-and-a-half years of on-and-off luke-warm contact,...

A.   22 November 2012: To get someone back in your life you would want to prove yourself to be worthy. He is showing you every reason there is "not" to go back to him. ... (read in full...)

Is it common for people to be in a relationship and signed up to online dating sites?

Q.   I have noticed this kind of question comes up a lot on this website. Is it very common for people to be signed up to dating websites whilst in a relationship. I have found my boyfriend to be doing it and lying about it. when he is not able to lie, ...

A.   22 November 2012: I can only translate this one way. He is only with you because he cannot get anyone else (hence dating site). He does n`t show his face on this dating profile does he? He must be causing you so much embarrassment and making your self esteem non ... (read in full...)

I am getting fed up with my boyfriends ex wife

Q.   I am getting fed up with my boyfriends ex wife. She is too dependent on him for jobs and advice and see`s him as her best friend. Yes, granted, I think if there was any chance of getting him back she wouldnt waste a moment. I have told him my ...

A.   12 November 2012: You say you trust him but do you? I can understand where you are coming from but they sound very much like they are over.... (read in full...)

Should I worry about my boyfriend's desire to have sex with another guy?

Q.   My boyfriend is a wonderful guy and I love him so much and I know he loves me too. He isn't gay or even bisexual, guys themselves make him uncomfortable sexually, but he's really attracted to penises. Which probably seems weird. I know he's ...

A.   11 November 2012: How can a man be attracted to penises without being gay or bi? The stability of your relationship wont be known unless he does something to affect it like leaving you.... (read in full...)

*elightful84's friends

These are mutual friends, so *elightful84 has added them and they have added *elightful84!

bashful3 agony auntbashful3
new_member agony auntnew_member
Renata45 agony auntRenata45

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.140624400002707!