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Do I send him a nasty letter or completely ignore him ?

Tagged as: Breaking up, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 May 2012) 7 Answers - (Newest, 28 May 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 51-59, *hellycg writes:

Hi everyone, well the last couple of days have been traumatic for me to say the least,

we had finished the relationship and i was doing fine, i text him to say basically do what you have to do but dont include me. He then said I had his motivation for going to this club all wrong ??? if it was about sex he would be with noone exept me?? i told him to stop talking in riddles and i said i want to cut it lose he calls me and says he doesnt know what me or him are going to do he says in like superglue?? he said he would go to the fetish, bdsm and swingers club friday and not do anything, !!!! well after our conversation he came down to see me - then he said he felt numb, he didnt feel anything, bla bla bla - the next day he called me in the morning to say thanks for a lovely night , then i ended up going to his and we ending up doing it grrrrrrrrrrrrrr (i could kick myself) and we went to the local centre for Breakfast! shopping for his outfit for this party - he asked me to help him get dressed etc...paint nails etc... which i did, then later on in the night when he was at his party he text to say "you would love this place" the cheek of him said my name was on the list to go - he calls me to say would i like to go and he would text postcode well no postcode was text - he even had the nerve to phone me sunday morning and say he sent the postcode and that his phone was broken !!!! now folkes the question is im absolutely furious - a) because i feel like ive been used for his self obsessment of becoming his alterego and also for him telling lies about his phone , does he really think im that stupid - and him texting me when hes there rubbing my nose in it.

now do i send him a nasty letter or completely ignore him ? I would like to do something that will have an impact on him

View related questions: swinging, text

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2012):

How advanced is his Parkinsons? You do know that advanced Parkinsons, especially when the patient has been taking medication for a long time, they begin to have erratic behaviour that they are not responsible for? They also get Dementia... and some medications cause hallucinations. So you need to determine how much of his behaviour is and always was like that, and how much is due to the disease, and then decide from there your next steps.

Everyone is very quick to condemn, without knowing everything.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (27 May 2012):

Honeypie agony auntIGNORE IGNORE IGNORE. Best way to get rid of a moron like that.

If you still have some unresolved feelings, you CAN write a letter (pen & paper) and when you are done, burn it or shred it. It would be wasted to try and explain how he made you feel. I don't think he is capable of either empathy nor respect for others. It's ALL about him.

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A female reader, AuntyEm United Kingdom +, writes (27 May 2012):

AuntyEm agony auntYep tell him to go fourth and multiply :-)

Really truly you don't need that kind of crap in your life xxx

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A female reader, shellycg United Kingdom +, writes (27 May 2012):

shellycg is verified as being by the original poster of the question

shellycg agony auntThanks you guys , your answers are really helping me so much... he really is a horrible man - he text me this morning to say he has got the shakes (he has parkinsons) and doesnt want to talk and he will call me later, you know what im going to do ...... ignore his call.... what a horrible, selfish , individual...

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A female reader, AuntyEm United Kingdom +, writes (27 May 2012):

AuntyEm agony auntBlimey don't he always have an answer for everything!!!

Really he sounds like a selfish manipulative shit to be honest. I think if this were happening to me, I'd have to tell him that I no longer want to be in contact with him and cut him loose...let's face it, he's never going to be what you really want is he?...so why waste another second of your precious time trying to force a round peg in a square hole...

I have done it myself, wasted way too much time on the wrong man and when you look back you will curse yourself for allowing it to happen.

Even if you are into the fetish scene yourself, it is possible to meet people who do want a real relationship...this guy is just messing around and will probably continue to do so for the rest of his life.

You can't be what he wants...he's a loser, some people just are...you have to chuck him in and get on with your life.

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A female reader, oldbag United Kingdom +, writes (27 May 2012):

oldbag agony auntHi

No nasty letter, just ignore his existance,his calls, his texts. He just likes playing games and knows you will react,respond or sleep with him.So dont do any of them.

If you want to get it off your chest then ring him,or write a letter but don't post it, but he really doesnt sound worth it.

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A female reader, Starlights United Kingdom +, writes (27 May 2012):

Starlights agony auntRevenge isnt really the best solution because you both did something you wanted to do at the time; i would personally vent at him (to release out the anger) then ignore him!

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