A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Very brief. I was with my ex for a year and 3 months (on top of that 6months seeing eachother) so lets say nearly two years. We have been split for a year and three months.He was and is my first love, he saved me from a very bad phrase in my life and i loved him so unconditionally. He was my rock, support, and i loved him. Vice versa.Reason we split is because he started taking me very granted, and when my mum got ill i needed him as my friends were not very good. He wasn't there for me. His family wasn't nice to me ( some of them were who i am still in touch with) and he did let me down alot towards the end hence the split.We have both been with other people and still remained in touch. I never stopped loving him i just could not really live without him in my life vice versa.Thing is that love never goes. We did try but when we met i had so much anger. This was nearly 5months ago.Last night he called me at 12.21 for two hours. So as soon as the lines were not busy as new year day. He was crying, he never cried before only when we split. Crying so badly, even though at a family party he was talking to me, he was totally drunk but he is a honest drunk.Stating he missed me, he can not handle it any more, he can't move on he has tried. Stating i am the love of his life and he wants me back. We use to meet in this town all the time that reminds me of him every corner. He said that town every day reminds him of me. He was so emotional that even i started crying.Stating he loved me, his parents even ask after me and if we talk. He said he can;t settle down with no one else because he loves me. He knows what i did for him e.g support. Basically sounded like he understood my worth. We talked about the guy i had a crush on at work. He was saying if you love him i won't contact you again and he cried more. I do love him, even after the split i am mad for him. We spoke a little today but he was still shook up. He normally doesn;t talk about his emotions . Should i give him another chance? i'm 22, hes 27. Different religion i'm sikh he is hindu. We went through so much.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2013): I can not stop crying I am so heart broken at the moment.
I gave him a chance to day alot to talk about our relationship. My friend has a fake account, she spoke to him on there. Only reason i ever kept taking him back was because i trusted him, that was my love for him.
My friend (with my permission) asked him if he loves me, if he is with me, if contacts me etc.
He basically said he does not love me, he hasn't spoken to me, doesn't want me and is moving on.
Same time he is on fb telling me he loves me and wants me.
Idiot ruined first day in the year, no more. Deleted him told him to never contact me. Just wish i could stop crying
A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (1 January 2013):
I agree with Darrell. A person can learn their lesson and see things after a break up that they didn't see before, I'm proof of that.
I also agree that you have to take this opportunity to make sure he knows how much his letting you down affected you and that he knows if it happens again you won't give him another chance. Knowing he can't take you for granted is critical!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2013): Right Im going to disagree, and say you cannot rekindle a relationship on the basis of one drunken phone call.
New years does leave people feeling wistful, regretful and reflective. It is a weird time. It sounds as though your ex was going through such stuff in his head. But there was a reason why you split and you must be sure if you are planning to go back to him that he does treat you with a bit more care.
It shouldnt take somone cheating on you for you to dump them, if someone is not treating you right that should be enough.
You are still young, but if you do want to go back to him, communicate and take things slowly. To be honest, Im not too sure about your future together, but good luck.
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A
male
reader, Darrell Goodliffe +, writes (1 January 2013):
 I am going to go right ahead and say yes to this one. You had issues in your relationship before but they are not ones that cannot be resolved with a bit of communication and hard work. Nobody cheated, nobody broke bonds of trust, it just seems to me you weren't communicating as much as you should have been. Both of you clearly still have strong feelings for each other to the point where I think if you were to try and get with somebody else it would be highly unlikely to work. However, dont cave in gratis. Make sure you lay down some ground rules. Make sure you let him know why the relationship ended and that he cant let you down again. Neither of you are really able to control what his relatives think but you are entitled to a basic level of respect and it seems like seeing how much you meant to their son has humbled his family in any case. Take it so - dont go in feet first - make sure you successfully resolve the issue that led to the split last time by talking them through with each other - if you dont it will only be a matter of time before you end up splitting again. However, on balance I really think you should give this one another go, if you do and you work on what went wrong I am quietly confident you will find it was worth it - good luck :)
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