A
female
age
36-40,
*by
writes:I am in my mid 20s and my boyfriend is in his early 40s. He is retired but i am student.he spends most of his free time with me and understands all my academic requirements.i am on my senior year college and i plan on going to medical school.i told him my plan and he is willing to be on my back.He seems proud of me;however,i have a feeling that he loves me more because of my ambition for medical school.he talks about it all the time ,i start feeling like he motivates me to be a doctor;but i feel like he can let me down or blame me if i never become a doctor.i am with him just because i love him,i think he loves me too;but i have an intent that he has some specific reasons of being with me.Do you guys think he loves me for who i am or for who he think i might be in the future.remember that i am student now,and i have nothing.but i am very independent and he does not spend anything on me.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2013): He is double your age, retired and all he can think/talk about is getting you into medical school...there is your answer! Listen to your instincts and be guided by them. It sounds as if you are an extension of this guys retirement plan.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (1 January 2013):
 He does not spend anything on you. That means his retirement pension and savings only cover his living expenses. What happens when you want a baby and you need to take two years off? He is a nester and a cheapskate. I wonder how you met him. He knows that women closer to his age have children and don't have much more money to spare. Women who have more resources feel they are too good for him. He's trying his luck on you. Since you are young he "must" be the one who knows more about love, right?
The fact that your career is all he talks about, implies that your emotional needs are not met.
It depends on your ambitions and how far you would go. Being a GP means you will live a comfortable life in a modest city, by yourself though. It also helps if your parents are financing your education and that you are not taking on loans.
You are young and you will want someone to dote on you with lavish gifts once in a while.
Financially it all works for him but you have to remember he is in retirement mode, and probably would not have energy for children. Because you are young and fit you will probably be doing most of the housework and childcare too. Think long, far ahead.
I don't know his reasons for retirement. I know it is hard for him to get a job these days at his age. Look into it, what happened in his career. Is it a medical issue? A man in his early 40s should still have a lot of juice in them.
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