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Did my date make up this fake story just to get a reaction out of me?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 November 2018) 6 Answers - (Newest, 24 November 2018)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

ive got a date lined up for this weekend. The guy i have been speaking to seems nice and not fake. Weve seen each others social media and have spoken on the phone. Today he texted me with a very strange message. He said last night he got a call off a guy saying stay away from my girlfriend stop ringing and texting her. He asked if this had something to do with me. I havent seen or spoken to my ex in over 6 months we dont have friends in common he was a complicated and hard work person so that didnt work out. I told this new guy i can prove anything he needs me to , his reply was he believes me and i dont have to prove anything. We both agreed it was probably a wrong number but im thinking did he make this up to get out of our date on saturday make it sound over the top to get a reaction from me to say forget the date, it may sound a bit extreme but some people do and say stupid things to get out of dates

View related questions: my ex, text

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2018):

I'm sorry but this rings serious alarm bells in my mind. As you say, the story seems over the top and likely fabricated.

I don't think he was trying to get out of the date with you. I think he was trying to "test" you to see if you had other men you were seeing through this fake story.

This could indicate an extremely jealous and insecure man, and one with mental health and/or pathological lying issues. I say this because I once dated a man who made up crazy stories like the one you just told and it turned out he had had lying issues all his life and mental health issues.

Sure there is a small chance the story is really true- but if it is he is probably seeing another woman (also not good). But let's face it- how often would a guy call another guy up with this message? AND it was the "wrong number"- two real rarities-- it just doesn't add up.

If you go on the date I would tread VERY carefully. But if it was me I would cancel and move on.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (21 November 2018):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntYou don't know enough about this guy to make a judgement either way on this incident. If you carry on dating, keep this locked away in the memory bank in case this sort of thing happens again and it is his way of trying to "catch you out", in which case you have to see it as a huge red flag.

It is possible he is dating more than just you and it was from an ex of a different date but he doesn't know which one.

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A female reader, Ivyblue Australia +, writes (21 November 2018):

Ivyblue agony auntI wouldnt think to much about it. Are you still going on the date? If so, I doubt there is anything too it

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (20 November 2018):

Honeypie agony auntNope, I don't think he was lying but maybe... he is talking to more women than JUST you? So he was trying to figure out WHO that man could be "linked" to.

I think if he wanted to cancel he would have come up with a "better" excuse.

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (20 November 2018):

N91 agony auntDoubtful.

If he wanted a way out and he used that excuse then he wouldn’t of ended the chat the way he did. He would of told you it was too much drama and made his exit.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2018):

I doubt it, if he is around your age and wanted to get out of it he could just message you and say he has a change of mind or ghost you...

It could be mistaken identity or wrong number if it definitely isn't your ex...

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