A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:What should I do? Should I move on from this guy, date other people?So the situation is that I was dating a shy guy. He and I went on one date, and clicked. Before this, we kept on talking on Facebook and we got along pretty well. So we meet in person, and the date goes well. But I worried, did I not give off the right vibe? I didn't say anything about relationships, and I tried to not seem clingy...So was it the opposite? Was I not warm enough? Too quiet? We hugged at the end of the date, and he pecked me on the lips. I was kind of hoping we would French kiss or more, but I didn't mind because it was the first date...and after all, he seemed very attracted to me physically.Anyway, we talked about meeting up again. Going on a second date Sunday, but he had church and then was sick Monday. I didn't mind this at first, but then I started wondering if he was making up excuses. Strangely, on Monday my phone seemed to break..it literally rebooted and I lost all my former data, including his phone number.However, this is not what made me anxious. What happened Tuesday is what really got my attention. I tried snap chatting him, but it said he could not receive it. And then I tried re-adding him but it said his username was not available.This really confused me. Unfortunately, I couldn't text because his phone number was lost...and usually we didn't talk over the phone much(should of been a red flag!)I went on Facebook, and his account is apparently hacked. Since we were Facebook friends, I saw a post on my news page. But it wasn't him who wrote it.It said something that were the likes of "Heeyy Luke(close to his real name, but not quite) this is your wonderful girlfriend who hacked your Facebook!! Teehee! :)"Now this honestly infuriated me, because Lucas had told me he was single. That he hadn't had a girlfriend in over a year. So I wondered, did he lie to me?!Stupid me, I went on Facebook chat and tried to ask if it was really Luke online. It just said "This is Lucas's gf bye." Now I started to get very pissed off.To make matters worse, I didn't know who the hell this person was. I wanted to ask what their *own* account was, but I somehow knew they wouldn't budge. Or, I could ask their name...but I knew I wouldn't get a freaking answer.The crazy part was that this guy's own parents said he hadn't had a girlfriend in forever. And when this random person hacked onto the account and made that status, his parents didn't comment or like it. Usually his parents would like all his posts because they were friends on Facebook.Either the guy was hiding a girl from everyone, or this person was either a troll or obsessed psycho. After all, at Luke's work there were these girls who liked him. Who constantly tried to flirt with him and he wouldn't respond. Who were probably jealous. Or for all I know, it could have been a ex girlfriend. I honestly don't know. But what made me angry most of all is that we didn't communicate much out all Facebook. Could of been because he was dating around, being a man wh*re and all, I don't know. Or maybe he was ashamed to be seen with me because he's a couple years older than me? I'm confused because he didn't seem that way. Some guys are good at putting on acts, though..Whether he's innocent or not, I don't feel comfortable going on with this. At least with how it is at the moment. You see, I heard that he was a one woman type of guy so I thought I would be nice and ignore other guys' advances. Why should I though? He hasn't asked *me* to be his girlfriend, so I've been a utter idiot. If that wasn't bad enough, he keeps his relationship status on Facebook blank so how could I know the truth? I assumed it was because he was a private person. Perhaps it could also be that he wants to hide it so he can date a bunch of girls, or stop seeing a girl without nobody on Facebook knowing. Or to online-cheat on girlfriend(s.)Only thing I know is that I shouldn't be faithful or exclusive with him. But I want to know is, what do you think about the situation? Should I date other people, hoping he gets jealous...Or should I forget all about him? By the way, I also deactivated my Facebook account and blocked him. Maybe I'm honestly frustrated because he wasn't serious enough about me to actually call me over the phone. Or even text. If he had simply done that, I wouldn't be doubting so much. Because even if it turned out to be a faux, he didn't care enough to pursue me and that is what I truly loathe. I wish I had the option to date confident, outgoing guys but it's difficult when I'm not that way myself. I've asked guys out before but all those times I was rejected.
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ex girlfriend, facebook, flirt, jealous, move on, shy, text Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know he's not my boyfriend...The reason why I was upset was because I felt entitled to know whether he's dating other people or not, so I could feel free to do the same if he was.
And actually, yeah I have been flirting with guys...but it's true that when I met this guy, I started flirting with them less.
We actually do live close by. We live in the same town, but not the same neighborhood. I'll try to meet up with him.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2014): You only had ONE date with him, so he is not officially your boyfriend. You haven't been dating the guy all that long, and you're acting like he's a cheating boyfriend.
You may be right that there is (or was) a girl he might be seeing that no one else knows about. You do rely way too much on Facebook. You have to talk to him and see him in-person a few more times; but you can't blame him for jealous girls. You're trying to date a guy through Facebook?
With phone malfunctions and hacking all over the place?
Seriously?!!
Even if it's one of the girls on his job trying to hack his account and sabotage what's going on between you and "Luke." Why don't you try something old-fashioned like, ACTUALLY TALKING TO HIM? Do you live in the same neighborhood and attend the same school? Or is he some random guy you found on Facebook?
It just might be true he hasn't had a "girlfriend" in a year, that doesn't mean he hasn't talked to other girls in the meantime. Before you met him, you had nothing else to do with boys all that time? Not even talking to them?
You need to talk to him face to face. Find out what's going on and get a few facts. You're guessing everything.
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