A
male
age
30-35,
*r not so confident
writes:dear usersrecently i made the stupid mistake of delving into the cyber sex cam world on skype. i had been talking to this girl for a while and it kind of got to what youd call online friends with benefitswe ended up camming, and im sure you can guess why. anyways 30 seconds in she shuts her cam and said i have recorded this, i can put it on youtube and fb and send it to your family and friends.I obviously freaked out, shut the cam, blocked and deleted her and blocked her facebook. it was a 30 second video of me jerking off. not that serious but im still worriedit was stupid, dumb mistake that i made but id like some perspective from wiser people then mewhat do you think i should do?
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male
reader, mr not so confident +, writes (9 October 2013):
mr not so confident is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks all, its been 24 hours since it happened and no friend of family member has mentioned it, and i cant find it on youtube. the only thing that puts my mind at ease is the fact that it was only a jerk off video, which isnt that interesting. who wants to watch that?
ive definetely learnt a big lesson from this. you always think this would never happen to you when its never happened but it does and it will. thanks for those who replied. Im sure you all think im a knob for doing this but i can openly admit that I also think that
A
female
reader, crimsonghost1993  +, writes (9 October 2013):
Things can happen but do not beat yourself up over this. You learned a valuable lesson about bad Cyber sex. Seek any or all the help you may need from the authorities or trusted friends.
Move forward on this one asap.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (9 October 2013):
 I'm with Auntie Babbit all the way.
Why would she do that to you ? Was/Is she underage?
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (8 October 2013):
 Aunty Babbit has great advice, and I would suggest that you pursue legal and civil remedy for this. I'm in the US, so I can't relate directly to UK laws as she can, but in the news, that's becoming a big thing, and the country here as well as individual states are passing some pretty tough laws on "revenge" posting of private videos meant to be trusted between partners.
But yes, it goes without saying that you learned that what you broadcast is forever. Keep the intimate stuff live between you and someone else in the room with you. No cameras, no internet.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (8 October 2013):
 Sounds like blackmail to me, contact police and file a report.
Report her to the site she's using to trap guys like you; she's probably a repeat offender and maybe they can take some steps to block her.
Not sure what you can do beyond those two steps, just don't have cybersex with strangers again, what a tough lesson you just learned.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2013): Just learn to live with this mistake like any or many that will be made over the course of a lifetime. Aunty Babbit is correct that you may take this to authorities; yet once something hits cyber-space, there isn't much anyone can do.The threat is hollow, unless this person actually knows your family and each all their web addresses. The worst that will come of it is you'll be embarrassed. It's the 21st century, and social media can send things around the world in a matter of seconds. Sometimes we learn harsh lessons as we go. You run risks when you enter porn sites and they are not well-protected. You are dealing with low-lives who want to do harm. They are predators and bottom-dwellers who feed on human weakness and addiction.Even if she gets prosecuted, it won't delete the video from the internet. If anyone recognizes you, deny it.Unless a total stranger walks up to you and pays you a compliment or gives a personal review on the video; pretend it's lost in space. Unless you plan to run for political office; or if you have applied for a job that does extreme background checks for security clearances, you should be okay.Worst case scenario, this surfaces somewhere. You'll get embarrassed. Don't lose sleep over it.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (8 October 2013):
If you've made it so she can't see your friends list on Facebook then you probably have nothing to worry about. Most likely she's just a crazy b-word. It may end up on the Internet, but unless you have some identifying tattoos or something nobody would ever know it was you.
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A
female
reader, Aunty Babbit +, writes (8 October 2013):
 You've learnt a hard lesson and I feel bad for you but please don't be to harsh on yourself.
There is a piece of legislation called the misuse of telecommunications act.
I know this will be difficult for you but I think you should speak to a police officer about this because if this young woman (I can't use the word lady) does carry out her threat, she's breaking the law and can be prosecuted under this act.
If she already has posted, then the police can remove it and she will be arrested although it won't make a huge difference to you as your video may have been seen.
If she's bluffing then it's about time that she learns a hard lesson about threatening people.
Whether she posts or not the police can trace her, with your help, seize her computer and obtain the evidence necessary to prosecute, if there is any. Either way she will be humiliated and inconvenienced when the police turn up and may possibly get a criminal record.
Please don't let her get away with this. You thought you were consenting adults doing what consenting adults do, you have nothing to be ashamed of but she does!
I hope this helps AB x
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