A
male
age
41-50,
*ps
writes:Hi there everybodyME:I have a name but I’m not telling. I am 29 years old and I want to tell my love story, just to help me figure this girl out. I am an engineer so, I don’t except to find the answer here, I expect some statistics ;)I will try to be brief but I also want to cover all the important details.THE GIRL:Her name is R, she is 24 and I have known her since she was 14. She lives nearby and she is friend of my sister (which I know, a long time, through my sis, that she thinks me a cute fellow, and I always liked her a lot too).She had her only boyfriend during 4 years and he broke up with her 7 month ago (they were virgins, both of them). They are still friends (that sucks I know), but now he is out of the country (looking for work I think).She had only one more person.She is very pretty (kind the person you definitely gaze at if you are a man) and she is a cuddling person by nature.THE STORY:Chapter 1 - The beachIt all started in the beach where I went to spend my 1st week of my vacations (of course there had been some flirts before). This was where the first kiss happened! We were in the water cuddling, and suddenly, she gives me a small one in my lips and say “I don’t mind give you some kisses from times to times”.Next day, we were laid down in the sand with my friend D sleeping, and her mother seeing the sights across the beach, I decided to make the move to the deeper kiss. It worked for the rest of our staying there!Following day was the day when we had to get everything ready for the camping. I went to my friends house were we meet up. That was when happen a moment alone with R and I start kissing her again. Then she said: “I know your faults as a person but I can live with that” She smile and I smile.Chapter 2 – CampingIn the first day, only happened one or two fast kisses initiated by me (one in the car and other in the dark when we all went to gaze the stars). She insisted that our friends D and C couldn’t be aware of that.In the second day in the beach, she surprised everyone, by going topless in the beach. While our friends went for a walk in the beach we kissed again and since she was naked on the top she pulled my hand to touch her breasts.Night time – We had sex next to the tents where our friends were staying (separate tents boys/girls).Next day – Our friends had scheduled a tour. Me and R went to the beach, in the way I hold her hand and she turns to me and says: “Already giving hands?!” Dropped instantly…In the beach we talked about each other and kissed a lot.Night time – We stayed in a hostel although they all want to hang out but I said that they could go but I m staying (Europe) but everyone stayed and it was magical (we laugh a lot with each other by the way. Always teasing her.) Me and R were left alone in the balcony and we talked for hours. This was the first time she told me not to fall in love for her. We then slept together (couldn’t do much besides some ninja kisses). By the time I knew my friends knew. And more I knew R knew that too.Next day – Visit the city and leave. I must confess I don’t like to visit cities. But I was in a good mood. (I am quite lazy and too much relaxed not much the dynamic type. I m also a quiet dude, in opposite to R, who likes to go to clubs and always moving).In short, I have 99,99999% certainty that she didn’t got enough of me. I always give her space (only one or two episodes where I went to her) In short, she is the one who kept around me.Chapter 3 – Back homeThe very day we come back she calls me to say that this is not happening again. I asked her to talk about that and some days later she met me in my place and we talked. She told me she is not ready for a relationship and she doesn’t see herself in a relationship with me. (Thus I never asked her that. I only questioned why she would never even want to consider that?)She also mentioned one thing that I noticed but have never yet mention; it was the hi-level of chemistry evolving us.Being so, I engaged in a cold stance. To my surprise she kept coming to my house at night with my friend D and start cuddling again. She followed me to the bathroom feeling my ass. I turn to her and said "stop you are making me fall for you more than I am". (its true I was already thinking of her in my work since it started). Texted me sometimes asking me if I wanted to go out with them, telling me she misses me, calling… (This is a very shorten story of what happen)In short ,she kept searching me 100% from her side.Chapter 4 – The returnAfter this I end up by giving in. One night in particular when she wasn’t expecting me I showed up and went out with R and D to meet up with my colleges. We drink and we started “playing” with our hands. It was in such way that my colleagues asked me later If she was my gf.Later that night she wanted me to go with them (R and D) to the club. I said no. She asked me to warn her when I leave. I did, and she told me that she wanted to be with me, and she will come by my house later. We had sex at 6 am.The next few days I kept my cold stance and she kept after me. One day at night she texted me "good night". I text her back. She text me back "sweet dreams honey" (those kinds of messages). Finally before actually go to sleep I told her that I would meet up with her next to work.So it was, we went for a walk in the park, and it was that when I told her that I'm in love with her and I don’t mind starting a relationship with her. Once again she said no. This time I pressed her a bit more and asked why. She told me that she had suffered and don’t want to go through it again. I insisted and put herself at ease: “ you can tell me everything” I gave her all the stupid examples that might be more awkward to say. (Like: starting by my football team preference to the size of my penis lol. I know that women don’t like those men who do that, it reveals insecurity). We come to some conclusions, which are: I don’t transmit security (because I don’t like what I am doing professionally hence future instability), I am a bit inflexible (true), Lazy (true), not a very dynamic person (true) and lastly not a very “go after things” person (not entirely true but I understand why people always say that)Chapter 5 – The “friendship”Again, solid cold stance on me, she keeps inviting me and she keeps cuddling saying that I am a special person that she likes me very much (even after we talked about our situation). Later at night I was texted a message asking if I had liked the night. I replied in the morning and then left to the beach (Saturday). When I come back I had one missed call from her. I called her back she said she didn’t remember what she wanted from me and she starts to chat. Sunday – kissed her unexpectedly and she liked it because when I stopped she pulled me back into a deeper kiss.During the week - she texted me “are you at home?” I replied “yes” than she tried to call when I wasn’t around, and when I come back I had a message “call me!” I did, but no response.Ffw to Friday - she didn’t tell me anything (strange).Saturday – Texted her asking: “Can I spend the day with you? I have to talk to you about the problem between you and my friend” (she was selfish in certain situation). She replied yes.When I got there, we engage in an argument (which is not normal from my part), and when things settled a bit she admitted in a certain point of this mess that she was proud not calling me in the day before because apparently she didn’t see my missed call from that other day. When I was preparing to leave she asks me: “where are you going?” I replied “Do something, don’t know” She says: “I thought we would be together today!” And say “Ok, you right, but you told me that you were arranging a meeting with someone.” And she said: “Yeah, but haven’t said anything yet” So I stayed and we spend a nice day witch end up in sex.Sunday – Took her to a concert.Monday – She sent me a strange message in facebook in which she refers once again that we are just friends. I overreacted and replied: “This bullshit you are always telling me (just friends) is disgusting me” she replied hard and then I reply harder (where I might have sound like an end, although it was not my intent). She called me sad with a bit of a cry, telling me that we needed to talk. I meet up with her and we talked and basically we discussed the differences between friendship and lovers. Also must add, she didn’t make any sense (although its normal around girls). I told her that we cannot be the friends she wanted, but everything is back to the way it was before. I don’t know if she understood!Next day (Thursday) she come by my hose to be with my sister, I was there, was nice to her but I act like I usually act 3 month before we got evolved.Weekend – On Saturday she texted me “I am very happy, lots of kisses” I text her back: “;) I am Very happy for you. Kiss”, Again “I’m gazing the stars you should be here. What are you doing?” And finally I replied “Nice. I am helping a friend. Listen stop sending this kind of messages… I don’t have patience for this! Doesn’t make any sense… (Sorry to say this)” She didn’t tell me nothing since this last Saturday. End of story.Note: I’m not rich; I didn’t do her any favors (not against my true will)QUESTIONS1 – In percentage can you tell me based on the story if she likes me romantically (although she says no)?2 – Which is my personality foul that she might be more afraid?3 – What can I do to convince her that I’m not a bad person to have a future with (she knows I am honest)?Thank you
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, jps +, writes (10 October 2012):
jps is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAlthough you right 99.999% physically attraction was the main reason. The point is that she searches me for just being with me, with, or without people around. And the signals through my perspective are not that mixed. (Although the title suggest that, and I didn’t write that by the way)What I mean is this: we have chemistry + like being with the person (as a friend) + physically attractions = at least give it a shot (I know most women work differently, they are more for the feelings, but I interpret the chemistry/click as a signal from that mysterious world of feelings) It is something that i have never felt before i may add.Just one other thing, I don’t think tow times sex is consider that much sexual interest in a space of 2 month.
A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (10 October 2012):
 I think she likes you physically, no question, 100%. It doesn't seem that she likes you enough as a person to have a relationship (impossible to give a percentage with only your side of the story).
She keeps changing her mind and she's giving very mixed signals. You're in love with her and have told her that. I think you should cut contact with her for a while, (don't have sex with her!) and see if some space from each other helps. She has to make up her mind one way or another; no matter what character faults/ flaws you may or may not have (and we all have them), you deserve to know where you stand. It sounds as though she wants a friends with benefits thing, which won't work for you if you love her.
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