A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This lady I work with who said she's attracted to me got upset today after I didn't take her advice on a matter. I teased her about it respectfully and she told me she was mad right after and said 'no one here listens to me'. I told her she was smart and that I have taken her advice before and it's just a judgment call. She seemed frustrated and refused to look at me when I was talking to her and said 'don't f***ing touch me'. At the end of our brief talk, I did pat her back reassuring her she is valued even if I don't take her advice all the time. She then seemed ok.Are there any red flags here I'm missing? I am interested in her. Thanks for your time.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2019): Just a brief update. My age is wrong on here im 24. She told me she likes me and suggested to go out. I declined. My instinct says its a time bomb if i got involved with her. volatile. i appreciate the advice. Roll on 5 years single.
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (19 December 2019):
 Honestly?
I would take this as a BETTER start being strictly professional around this lady. If nothing else.
Yes, it might be that she made the presumption that because she "likes" you and you "like" her, you should now listen to all she says as the truth or the "right way".
I think it's a ridiculous overreaction of hers.
And I think you REALLY need to take heed and back of any NON professional behavior - whether it be a "pat on the back" or personal social interactions one-on-one.
JUST treat her like ANY other coworker.
Keep romance out of the workplace.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2019): Simply stated, this woman is too volatile! Listen Friend, keep your behavior cordial but strictly professional! Remember, she has already warned you once, at work, to NOT TOUCH her! Heed her warning Friend and do not get involved with her. She became irate just because you failed to act on her advice, to you! I wonder how jealous and angry she may become if you show kindness to another female coworker. If you value your job and your peace of mind, just be nice but strictly business with this lady. Workplace relationships are always a foolish idea! They always lead to drama and often times being fired! There are so many available women, that there is no need to enter into such a romance, at your job. Best wishes OP!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2019): [EDIT]: Typo corrections
"If you're stupid enough, you'll get baited into the worst experience of your life; and may get fired behind some dumb flirtation with an infatuated-female coworker."
P.S.
Your interest in her is neither here nor there. Your description of her makes her sound like a flake; and if she can't have her way, or manipulate you, she will humiliate you on the job! She'll throw tantrums and use dramatics to force you to yield to her demands. If you can't see that, you're just a sitting-duck; and she's the smarter of the two of you!
Zip it up, dude!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2019): She is petty and terribly unprofessional; and you're following her lead. So what if she's attracted? This is what on-the-job flirtations lead to! People behaving badly, and totally distracting emotional-nonsense; rather than business and the bottom-line.
Unless your job is a singles-mingle, I think you both better get a grip! Your behavior is more befitting of mindless-gossip and drama; than recognition for good work-performance and productivity.
Keep your hands to yourself! Pat your own back! If the feeling isn't mutual about "attraction;" she can turn it into sexual-harassment, or misconduct on your part. You're too old to be so naive in today's climate towards sexual-misconduct. If you're stupid enough, you'll get baited into the worst experience of your live; and get fired behind some dumb flirtation with a infatuated-female coworker. Sniff-around for dates outside your workplace!
Let her keep her advice to herself. If she's bucking for a promotion, let her prove it through her work-performance; not her antics and theatrics towards horny male-employees.
Your job is a bad place to seek romance. Her childish-behavior ought to be a red-flag about what she'd be like if you were dating. Self-centered and whiny! Imagine if you dated and things went sour! You'd have to face this foolishness all week, or have to look for another job! That is, if you don't end-up getting yourself fired!!!
Best remedy to this ridiculous situation. Be professional, keep your hands to yourself; and let her put her own ideas into use, if she wants recognition. Stop thinking with your penis, and use your brain.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2019): I was using the lift equipment operating a load and she gave me her usual unsolicited advice on how to 'handle it'. After the project, I chuckled at her and sarcastically said 'thanks for the advice'. I've thanked her before professionally on paper for her insights to which she said thank you. I recalled that to her in our argument and she acknowledged. Her developing feelings/attraction may have something to do with this reaction.I appreciate the answers.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  + ♥, writes (18 December 2019):
 If that is how she reacts because you didn't take her advice on something, imagine how she will be with you if you go ahead and have a relationship and then things fall apart. How uncomfortable do you think it will be working with her?
There is good reason why most aunts and uncles on this site advise against workplace romances. This one seems (to me at least) like a time bomb waiting to make your life VERY uncomfortable. Think it through carefully before you do anything. You may have to live with the fall-out at some point.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2019): It feels like there's more going on here? What was the advice about? What did you ask her? What did she say? What did you do after that?
This is relevant information as to why she might be annoyed.
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (18 December 2019):
No red flags as such, but the key fact here is that she has said she is attracted to you and you admit you are interested in her also.
When we have these feelings, we tend to overreact to everything. A kind hello becomes a declaration of love. A friendly text becomes a clear signal that they are thinking about you and nothing else. I’m exaggerating a bit, but you get my point. Likewise, anything that looks like distancing in any way feels like a major blow. If she’s already feeling undervalued and unappreciated as well, she’ll probably have an even bigger overreaction. Immature? Irrational? Absolutely, but that’s what feelings do to us sometimes.
What are you going to do about this mutual attraction? You already know she likes you, so if it could work out between you it’s time to tell her that you’re interested too. If not, keep a bit of distance.
I wish you all the very best.
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