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Caught my boyfriend flirting with another woman over Facebook, will he do it again? Has he already done it since and lied to me?

Tagged as: Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 April 2012) 6 Answers - (Newest, 26 April 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

hi my i caught my partner flirting with another woman over facebook. he lets me check my ex's profile via his. i always ask though. and he got really defensive when i asked and then i logged into his and he came out and said it. and he said it was just a giggle and he was allowed. i explained to him if your in a relationship you dont flirt full stop if you love them even if it was a giggle.

im just worried he gonna do it again or he has and he has lied . i dont know

View related questions: facebook, flirt, my ex

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thanks and i am over my ex! my ex is my 4 year olds dad. we split ween my son was 1. he has givin me hell or 4 years and has been takin me through court and shit. him and his partner slag me, my partner, my famli off of facebook, thats why i check his profile and my partner checks it aswell the more crap wee have agenst him. the less chance of his access being the way it is. sorry i didnt explain properli bwt my ex...and it was my current partners idea since he is the onli 1 that can view the ex. i am 3 months pregnant asswell with my current partner

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2012):

I totally agree with YOUWISH, what are you doing checking up on your ex. one rule for you, another for him. You should not be checking on your ex at all. I am sorry you are as wrong as he is.

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A female reader, YouWish United States + , writes (19 April 2012):

YouWish agony auntYikes HOLD IT!

I think you have bigger issues than his flirting over Facebook.

Your ex has blocked you on Facebook, yet you're using your current boyfriend's account to check up on your ex?? That's messed up, and quite frankly is a bigger breach of trust than his flirting with someone else.

You told him that if he's in a relationship, he doesn't flirt with others, and that's true. HOWEVER, what on God's earth are you doing?!? If you love HIM, you DON'T LOOK UP YOUR EXES USING HIS PROFILE! That's disloyal as hell! There is no good excuse, and it looks like you're not over your ex.

Sorry, but you're not to be trusted either.

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A female reader, mystiquek United States + , writes (19 April 2012):

mystiquek agony auntYes, he'll more than likely did it again. He thinks of it as just fun and he's lied. The odds are he'll keep doing it, and keep lying about it. Your boyfriend sounds very immature. Do you want to date a child or a man?

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada + , writes (19 April 2012):

janniepeg agony auntI agree with Tisha. If you have to explain rules to him it means he is not ready for a relationship. I also think yuck is a good word to describe how I would feel towards him. It's not something that would break my heart but certainly I would feel less attraction towards him.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States + , writes (19 April 2012):

Tisha-1 agony auntWhat did he say when you explained the 'no flirting' rule?

The thing that seems odd is that he was hiding it and then defended it by saying it was just a giggle and he was 'allowed.' He 'allowed' himself but didn't feel it important to let you know he thinks flirting for a giggle is okay in your relationship. It sounds as though he would not feel the same way if you were to flirt via Facebook for a giggle.

I think you may have a guy with elastic morals on your hand. One size more or less fits all, but he's the one who gets to decide who is 'allowed' to do what. I wouldn't feel good about this and I may even go so far as to suggest you could do better. Guys like him need to flirt to feel good about themselves and may start to feel so low and and so down that they need more than a giggle on Facebook to recover their masculinity. (I wish I had a sarcasm font for certain sentences.) In other words, you've got a guy who thinks he's a bit of a player. Yuck. Red flag. Now you know, now you keep an eye out.

I think I'd be taking really close stock of the relationship and deciding if he was a 'keeper.'

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