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Can you have a 'mid-life crisis' at 19?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 April 2012) 5 Answers - (Newest, 10 April 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Is my friend going though a breakdown, or some sort of life crisis judging by her behaviour. She's only 19, turning 20 in four months but she's been acting really different! We already have active social lives, but now when she's out, she's more 'fun'. Of course before she was, but in the sense that she just makes the best of everything and treats the nights out like it's our last night. She's more wilder, confident and spontaneous than usual.. I'm not complaining, it's actually made our nights a hell lot of fun!!

She's also dating more now, before she would never give time to the guys who asked her out or took an interest. But she says 'I'll never meet anyone, if I don't give someone a chance'. Even in the day, i've noticed she's more impulsive and tries new things out. Which is great, but still why has all this sudden behaviour happened?

She mentioned the other day that she gets depressed when she thinks that her teenage years are nearly over, that she never really lived them to the fullest she could have. Do you think all this behaviour could have a connection with that? Could she be trying to live her teenage years as full as she can whilst she still is one... I've asked her, but she always changes the topic! Is there anything I can do, because I do think she is going through a breakdown, but doesn't realise it? What do you think.. I just find it strange, because she's so young and I wouldn't expect this to happen with a 19 year old?

View related questions: a break, depressed

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (10 April 2012):

Honeypie agony auntI don't think it's a crisis at all. I think she got hit with Spring. Could be that she is manic depressive though, they tend to go from being deep down depressed to over the top happy go lucky out there.

Or it could just be that she has figured out that THIS can be the best years of her life and she is going all out.

For some this surge of independence and "freedom" comes early for others it comes a little later.

I would just enjoy who she is and be there for her if she wants advice/a chat/a friend.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2012):

How is it a "breakdown" if its all positive changes and she's happier noe??

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (10 April 2012):

N91 agony auntI'd say I feel like this myself A LOT of the time at the moment. I can get down over things pretty easily and I see if that you're never going to get your younger years back, so I am trying to make the most out of everything and living life to the 'full' if you get what I mean.

I'm also currently in the process of trying to completely change my career into something that has a lot more prospects, I just kind of had a 'breakdown' if you could call it that, where one night I just burst into tears and was crying for hours (bearing in mind, I'm a 20year old guy that has never had a reason to cry) and I just decided to pull my finger out and decided it's time to enjoy myself a hell of a lot more and try to make my life the best that I possibly can for myself.

I'd hate to look back on my life and regret not having more fun when I had the chance, so no, I wouldn't say she's acting weird, or this to be uncommon. Just embrace it, if she's feeling down just try to be there for there for there for her the best you can, but enjoy the good times and the best years of your life!

Hope you find this helpful.

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A female reader, celtic_tiger United Kingdom +, writes (10 April 2012):

celtic_tiger agony auntTo be honest, it sounds more like she is suddenly relishing the fact she is an adult and can do whatever she wants and no one can tell her any different.

She doesnt want to be 'serious' and take the responsibility that being an adult brings, yet wants to enjoy the freedom that it gives her.

It is probably a phase, and she will eventually grow out of it. Are you students by any chance? Is this the first year away at University?

We see so many students suddenly begin to go off the rails, they have a new found freedom and want to party like its going out of fashion.

Just keep an eye on her,you may need to step in to help her realise her behaviour needs to be moderated a little.

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (10 April 2012):

janniepeg agony auntIt's called a quarter life crisis. It's when people grow up and getting ready to face the real world. This is quite normal.

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