New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login240515 questions, 1064966 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

Can I see both? Or one or the other? What should I consider, and how can I decide?

Tagged as: Crushes, Dating, Family, Friends, Teenage, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 February 2013) 4 Answers - (Newest, 7 February 2013)
A female Nigeria age 22-25, *ituldamsel writes:

I am 16,i have a b/f who i took as a brother and friend.

Not as a lover

I can't imagine him kissing me because the love i have for him is brotherly.

Since then I have met another guy, and i realise i like him very much.

But how do i see this other guy when i already have a b/f who is like a brother and friend to me?

Please cupids i really need your help

View related questions: kissing

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A male reader, idoneitagain Australia +, writes (7 February 2013):

As you are experiencing, there are different kinds of love. Some love is brotherly, or feels like family, some love feels like friends, and some feels like someone you want to kiss and be physically close with. If you have a friend who you love like a brother, but you aren't attracted to him in a way that makes you want to kiss him, having him as a boyfriend is not the right relationship to have with him. Having him as a friend who you love very much is. Sometimes when you meet a boy, it might take you some time to be sure of how you feel about him, but once you know, you should try to have the kind of relationship with them that feels right to you.

You might also start to experience that the kind of relationship that you want might not be the same as the kind of relationship that a boy wants. You might not want to kiss your friend, and he might feel the same way about you, but he might feel different. He might want to kiss you, and if he does, he will be upset to learn that you don't like him in that way. That's ok, you can't do anything but be true to yourself, and if that is upsetting to him, it is good experience for him to learn how to deal with that. However, if that is the case, you may not be able to be friends any more. As difficult as that is, that's also ok, sometimes that is just how things have to be. You will learn what is true and what is not as you go through these experiences, most important is to be true to yourself, be honest with other people even if they don't like what you have to say, that's ok, and if someone can't be your friend any more, learn to let people go if that's what they want, or what you need to do. Trust your own judgement and life will teach you what you need to know.

<-- Rate this answer

A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (6 February 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntboyfriends are NOT like brothers. they are boyfriends and you want to kiss them.

so you tell the friend just that.... you are like a brother to me and I want you to be happy for me that I've met someone I care about.....

of course if you led him on thinking he was your boyfriend you have some serious explaining to do first.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, blonde30s United Kingdom +, writes (6 February 2013):

blonde30s agony auntif you only see this boy as a brother then be honest with him as it wouldnt be fair to lead him on. explain to him you feel strong friendship for him but not love in a r.ship way and you dont want to be with him anymore. i know he will be upset but its best to do that rather then be unhappy and stay together if the r.ship isnt going any where.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, llifton United States +, writes (6 February 2013):

llifton agony auntpretty simple. you go to your "boyfriend" whom you are currently with, tell him you see him only as a friend, and then go to this new guy, and start dating him.

problem solved.

seriously. why stay with a guy who's like a brother? and why did you ever get with him if that's how you felt?

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

Add your answer to the question "Can I see both? Or one or the other? What should I consider, and how can I decide?"

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.03125!