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Can I see both? Or one or the other? What should I consider, and how can I decide?

Tagged as: Crushes, Dating, Family, Friends, Teenage, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 February 2013) 3 Answers - (Newest, 7 February 2013)
A female Nigeria age 22-25, *ituldamsel writes:

I am 16,i have a b/f who i took as a brother and friend.

Not as a lover

I can't imagine him kissing me because the love i have for him is brotherly.

Since then I have met another guy, and i realise i like him very much.

But how do i see this other guy when i already have a b/f who is like a brother and friend to me?

Please cupids i really need your help

View related questions: kissing

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A male reader, idoneitagain Australia +, writes (7 February 2013):

As you are experiencing, there are different kinds of love. Some love is brotherly, or feels like family, some love feels like friends, and some feels like someone you want to kiss and be physically close with. If you have a friend who you love like a brother, but you aren't attracted to him in a way that makes you want to kiss him, having him as a boyfriend is not the right relationship to have with him. Having him as a friend who you love very much is. Sometimes when you meet a boy, it might take you some time to be sure of how you feel about him, but once you know, you should try to have the kind of relationship with them that feels right to you.

You might also start to experience that the kind of relationship that you want might not be the same as the kind of relationship that a boy wants. You might not want to kiss your friend, and he might feel the same way about you, but he might feel different. He might want to kiss you, and if he does, he will be upset to learn that you don't like him in that way. That's ok, you can't do anything but be true to yourself, and if that is upsetting to him, it is good experience for him to learn how to deal with that. However, if that is the case, you may not be able to be friends any more. As difficult as that is, that's also ok, sometimes that is just how things have to be. You will learn what is true and what is not as you go through these experiences, most important is to be true to yourself, be honest with other people even if they don't like what you have to say, that's ok, and if someone can't be your friend any more, learn to let people go if that's what they want, or what you need to do. Trust your own judgement and life will teach you what you need to know.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (6 February 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntboyfriends are NOT like brothers. they are boyfriends and you want to kiss them.

so you tell the friend just that.... you are like a brother to me and I want you to be happy for me that I've met someone I care about.....

of course if you led him on thinking he was your boyfriend you have some serious explaining to do first.

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A female reader, llifton United States +, writes (6 February 2013):

llifton agony auntpretty simple. you go to your "boyfriend" whom you are currently with, tell him you see him only as a friend, and then go to this new guy, and start dating him.

problem solved.

seriously. why stay with a guy who's like a brother? and why did you ever get with him if that's how you felt?

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