A
male
age
30-35,
*7andconfused
writes:Hi again i have recently posted about my situation. My girlfriend and i have been dating for two years, until recently she told me that she wanted to be able to have fun and be social. She stated that she wants to be single. before this she had been taking to a boy and she said they were just friends. a day later i see her new facebook profile picture is her and her friend wearing this boy and another boys hockey jerseys showing them off. She got very drunk two nights ago and slept over at her friends house with these too boys. i had been talking to her that night and called her and told her i trusted her and loved er around twelve o' clock at night. She then texted me at five in the morning saying " will you ever forgive me" so i called her as soon as i woke up and saw it around five thirty. She said that she was so sorry that she had kissed this boy on the couch in the living room, she told me all she did was start to kiss him and then stopped after a few seconds because she realized it was not me and she was making a mistake. The next morningshe came to my house and begged me to take her back and that it was the worst thing she had ever done. I didnt take her back and said i needed to think. i Want her back even if she just kissed him. But today at school i am hearing otherwise. I asked the boy and his story was the same. But she told me that her friend had sex with this boys friend that night. and i am hearing from an eyewitness that she went in the room with him after they went hottubbing for a while. At the same time her friend and the tag along guy went in the shower and had sex. I want to belive her and fix everything but now he sid she just wants to be alone and experince highschool life and she doesnt like that boy. She is sticking to her story about just kissing him but still wants to be single. I wanna be with her so badly and i am giving her space and not talking to her and she doesnt talk to me or smile at school.So all in all what is next for me ? Thak you dear reader, all answers appreciated
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female
reader, heather016  +, writes (17 February 2010):
sometimes, after people get bored in a steady, long-term relationship, they tend to think that it's better to have fun around and stay single rather that get himself/herself committed to only a single person, always a thought i have yet to figure out the logic behind it. but that's life.
A
female
reader, SsCcHh  +, writes (17 February 2010):
 I think you did the totally right thing to break off from her and give her space. It's hard how much being in love with someone can blind you from the reality of things, but it seems your girlfriend just wasn't taking your relationship as seriously as you were anymore.
You seem a friendly and trusting person, and you do not deserve this kind of treatment. Maybe your girlfriend was in a really hard place lately? As everyone knows being an adolescent is one of the hardest periods of your life.
I advise giving her space and letting her make up her mind about herself and what she wants before she has to make a decision about you. If her priorities lie within parties and drinking until she makes mistakes such as kissing another boy, then I doubt she is the girl for you.
I hope I've been of help, and good luck x
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (17 February 2010):
 What's now? You broke up. You did the right thing. Accept that as a final decision. If getting drunk and making a fool out of yourself is considered fun and social, you might want to consider why you still want to be with her.
Not so sure about the time sequence here. Did she say she wanted to be single after or before the party incident? If she is single then she's inappropriate for calling you to take her back. Also, you broke up already. There is no you to give her space. No point pretending you are still a couple. She's not talking to you because you make her feel embarrased. You are obviously not the party type so you being around her makes her feel stupid for liking the things she does. You don't wait indefinitely till she abandons her "single" life. After you deal with your own pain, you are free to date whoever.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2010): I think you know what most people will say - just forget about her and move on -
Easier said then done I know. Loads of people have been in a situation where they desperatly want someone back no matter what that person has done. But you've got to think what it would be like if the two of you did get back together, would you be able to fully trust her? would you worry whenever she went out with her mates? More than likely you would be worried/paranoid most of the time, and thats not how you should be feeling in a relationship.
This girl obviously has some good traits, or you wouldnt like her so much and have spent two years with her but you need to weigh the good against the bad. She has done something wrong yet you are the one trying to give her space and let her think things through?? You're not the one whos done anything wrong.
She says she wants to be single? Well I think that's sensible of her, I don't think she is ready for a propper relationship yet. Take time to get over her, go out with you mates and get on with any goals you may have. Two years is a long time to be with someone so you are going to feel very attached to them but after a while of being apart you'll be able to see the situation at a different (better) angle and be glad that you have'nt let her drag you down.
I hope this helps, I don't want to come across too harsh because I know how you feel but its got to be said, listened to and thought about! good luck x
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