A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:So my boyfriend has a really close friend group from highschool. 3 other guys and 3 girls and they have a groupchat they always text in and are always planning hangouts together. This one girl in his group has always been obsessed with him (i've been told by multiple people) and he lost his virginity to her and they've had sex like 10 times but the most recent was a year ago. So we started dating and this girl tries to get him to hate me or other people to hate me for no reason. She spreads rumors about me to the other girls in the friend group. I've told him its uncomfortable and i dont like it, but he says that he wont be able to hangout with his friends if he doesnt hangout with her too. Idk what to do. I don't want to be controlling but i'm super worried all the time for no reason. She'll randomly text him dumb stuff JUST to talk to him obviously. I'm not threatened by her but I don't want her to keep stressing me out.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (4 July 2018):
 You cannot control who he sees or what he does but he should be thinking about you in this situation and he should want to stop hanging out with her because he knows it is making you feel uncomfortable. He sounds like he is to immature for this relationship. He should stand up for you and not allow anyone to spread false rumors about you. Personally if my boyfriend didn’t stand up for me when I was in the right and he left me feeling worried and stressed then I would be gone.
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (30 June 2018):
 IS there any truth to what he is saying? That in order to hang out with friends he HAS to hang out with her and talk to her too?
Or is that just an excuse?
He knows what she is doing to you, he knows how you feel and yet... he prioritize her higher than you. What does that tell you?
Personally, I think if you can not stop letting HER walk all over you then you are better off NOT fating a guy who doesn't know how to be considerate of you.
She is jealous that she CHOSE to date you but only used her for sex. She feels she isn't good enough for him to date but you were so... YOU are the "enemy". And she is hoping by stirring up drama and shit she can get HIM to dump you or you to dump him.
Know this. Whether you date him or not - you CAN NOT control what he CHOOSES to do. Who he CHOOSES to be friends with. You CAN NOT control what she DOES, says, feels or think. ALL you CAN control is how you react.
And right now? You are giving her power, you are playing right into her hand.
And I think you should ASK your BF how he would feel if you were doing the same thing as he is. If you claimed you HAD to hang out with a guy you used to have sex with who is crushing on you. Ask him how he would feel if the shoe was on the other foot.
My guess is that the other girls in the group are smart enough to know she is making drama because she WANTS him and WANTS to make you look bad. If not? then they are not your friends.
Decide if this is OK in a relationship or not. If the relationship[ is REALLY worth the extra added drama she ADDS to your life.
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