A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I feel a bit pathetic writing to an agony aunt site but i feel like nobody understands how i'm feeling.I've been single for 5 years now and i feel like i'll never have another relationship. The last guy i was involved with ended in disaster. I feel like i slept with him too early because he told me afterwards that he didn't want anything "serious" with me. Since then i haven't been involved with anyone as i feel like no guy will ever like me for me.A few months ago i met this guy at work who seemed nice. He was quiet and sort of shy around me which i liked as i'm pretty shy myself. He and his friend, who was the total opposite (loud, flirtatious etc) worked at my workplace up until a few weeks ago. His friend, the loud guy, would ask me if i liked the guy i liked. I'd get embarrassed and not answer and just ask why he was asking me. He told me the guy i liked was shy so he was asking for him. I'm not sure if the guy i liked actually knew his friend was asking me or not. The guy i liked did ask me once if i fancied going to the movies with him once as he was going on his own. I said no because i wasn't sure if he was serious or not and because he asked me in-front of his friend and another co-worker so i was embarrassed.The day before he left he asked me if there were "any guys on the horizon". I just laughed and said that there weren't. He never said anything about it after that. He'd send a few flirty texts once in a while but never asked me out again. He kept hinting about adding me on Facebook, so i did, but he's never spoken to me on there.Now that he's left i've heard from other people that he'd been sending dirty texts to a co-worker. She's the total opposite of me. She's loud, has 3 children by 3 different men and she's not even that attractive. Apparently he asked her out for a drink then rang her and asked if he could stay the night at hers. He was shy around me yet not with her. He'd sent her loads of dirty texts. I'm not saying that i'm a supermodel but i get told how pretty i am quite a lot (even though i'm not very confident) yet i never get asked out by the guys i like.What am i doing wrong? Is it because i'm shy? Not forward enough? Do you think he only wanted sex and realised he wouldn't get that from me? One guy at work said i come across as someone who wouldn't be very easy to get into bed. Is that a good thing? I'm just so confused.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2014): Looks like he deleted me from Facebook so that's it.
A
female
reader, deirdre  +, writes (10 October 2014):
You have got good answers already, to be honest you just havent met the right man yet (neither have I!) and you dederve better than what you have encountered so far. Dont ever change who you are, you would feel much worse if you had slept with them. All the best x
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (9 October 2014):
 Q: "One guy at work said i come across as someone who wouldn't be very easy to get into bed. Is that a good thing?"
A: Yes.... it's a good thing to NOT put out for any Tom, Dick or Harry who shows you a little interest....
Hold on to your soul... and only give it out to a guy who, clearly, deserves it!!!!!
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (9 October 2014):
 She was EASY to get into bed, he didn't HAVE to put forth an effort whereas you might have seemed more standoffish because you are shy.
Honestly, I think him chasing the "easier" girl means he isn't for you.
If he had wanted MORE then sex from you, he would have asked you out, not hit on the girl who was easy to drop her knickers. However, he DID try and ask you out to the movies and you shot him down.. so instead of trying again... he went for the "easier target". Which in my nook means he wasn't THAT into you.
YES, it's a good thing to not seem like a walking bed-post notch. UNLESS that is what you want to be.
If you want a guy to get to know you, date you even BEFORE sex, then BE who you are.
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