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female
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anonymous
writes: is a 3 sum out of the question???my boyfriend has recently admitted he wants to see me with another girl, at 1st i was unsure but sed i would consider it. now he says he wants a 3 sum where he can join in. this has made me insecure as i feel i am not good enough, i would never want to see him with someone else but he keeps pressuring me, it would kill me to watch him, but now i am thinking that if i dont let him he will go behind my back. i love him very much and he tells me he loves me but am i right in thinking that a 3 sum would ruin us???????
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female
reader, bonym  +, writes (20 August 2006):
 I am glad you told him straight, good luck with everything and I hope it works out well. Take care. xXx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you everyone who replied, you have all helped i am stil in the relationship at the mo but i have told him NO to a 3sum and that its not going to happen then he can leave me to get on with my life!! thank you all once againxxxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2006): I participated in a 3some in similar circumstances...my bf at the time wanted it and I wanted to keep him interested. It was a HUGE mistake. I ended up actually enjoying it, but afterward there were SO many feelings and images that were REALLY hard to deal with....or even know HOW to deal with. I would advise against it...if this guy is willing to put this much pressure on you to do something you don't want to, that is a HUGE red flag too.
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A
female
reader, snowbird  +, writes (16 August 2006):
 He is extremely selfish to keep pressurising you over this. It displays a huge lack of respect on his part, and I would strongly advise you to get the hell out of that relationship, as it is destroying your self-esteem and you deserve so, SO much better than that!
He should learn that life is not just a huge porn film!
Real people= Real feelings, Am I right, or am I RIGHT?? Take care of yourself, chick..((HUGS))
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A
male
reader, unclerich +, writes (16 August 2006):
a threesome would change everything in your relationship tell him no tell him how u feel.if he loves u he will understand if not show him the door
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A
female
reader, jn +, writes (16 August 2006):
 I can tell you that having an open relationship requires more than just the fantasy of the action. 100% Open communication is a must! If one or both of you are jealous, insecure, or in doubt it's only going to cause problems. Sit down on your own and think the entire situation three completely, every detail, every encounter, every step. (like watching a movie) then go back over it a few times and see what part of it bothers you the most. Sit down and talk to him about it and discuss the parts that bother you, see if you can come to some sort of mutual understanding. If you are just not ready that's perfectly okay also, and he needs to respect you for that level of monogamy and commitment. To be honest most guys want to do it but when it comes down to doing it, they have preformance anxiety... I am sure he will be just as uncomfortable as you if he has not done this before.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2006): I agree totally with bonym.
And personally speaking, I would never want, nor ask, my girlfriend to have a threesome. No way!
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (16 August 2006):
 You are afraid he'll go behind your back if you don't give him a threesome? Wow! Doesn't that set off the bells for you? Not only is a threesome a rotten idea for you, I think this relationship may turn out to be rotten as well. Your self-esteem looks pretty wobbly here. I'd make myself a nice cup of coffee and sit down and have a very hard think on your relationship. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, bonym +, writes (16 August 2006):
I strongly believe that a threesome is a terrible idea and not healthy for any decent relationship. Please dont entertain this idea my friends. xXx
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A
female
reader, LittleMaddam +, writes (16 August 2006):
huni all i can say is that dont do anything u dont want to do and if my lad wanted a 3 i would probs finish him its not right i dont think u should stick with him .
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