A
female
age
36-40,
*abe0201
writes:So here's my story. I'm visiting my fiance where he stays due to work. Yesterday he wanted us to go watch soccer at his friend's place (actually home boy), I refused to go because I don't know his friend's friends and I was going to be the only girl there. So he went anyway and I was so angry and hurt because I was hoping to spend time with him since he's always at work during the week. When he got back I was so angry that I didn't speak to him until now. We've been arguing and he says he doesn't see what is his mistake because I'm the one who refused to go. Was I wrong for wanting to be with him just the two of us? I mean was it ok for him to leave me alone while I'm visiting him?
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female
reader, Babe0201 +, writes (31 January 2013):
Babe0201 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you for your answers. Ok to answer some of your questions. He left before I could ask him to cancel his plans with friends. I was visiting for a 2 weeks but that was the only weekend we had together as I'm going back home on Friday. I don't think we'll be moving in anytime soon because I'm still looking for a job and I'm searching everywhere. I only see him when I'm visiting him that's once a month. and when he came to visit him family but we don't spend much time together because he have to see him friends and family (he's got a big family) so I understand that.
A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (29 January 2013):
I don't think what he did deserved the reaction you gave him. He may have been a little inconsiderate of your feelings, but you could say that your over reaction was inconsiderate of his as well.
I also don't understand why you'd be worried about being with a bunch of guys. Don't you trust your fiance? Were you afraid of a sexual encounter or being bored?
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (29 January 2013):
 He wanted you to go... but you would be the only woman so you refused which makes sense.
he went anyway as that was his plan. did you say... "can you cancel your plans with your friends and spend time with me instead as we get so little time together?" or did you just refuse to go and he stormed off....
if you lived together full time I would see no issue with him going out without you.
you say you are visiting.. how long are you there for? how often do you see him? when will he me moving home or you to move with him?
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (29 January 2013):
 I suggest that your womanly instinct was right to refuse to go visit a group of men you had never met and did not know. I don't think it was even right for your guy to even consider that was ok.
And I agree with the other poster. your fiance was not putting your first. He still wants to be one of the boys. He should have been so thrilled to see you that he was looking forward to doing things with you and wooing you.
You wanting to be with him was entirely to be expected and a natural reaction. He should have made you more welcome and made time for you.
Imagine his reaction if he was visiting you and you wanted to go to a day Spa or the hairdressers for three hours? would he be happy to wait in the front of the hairdressers for three hours? I think not. He would understandably think you were selfish and did not have time for him and that you were being rude.
Same with him. He was inconsiderate.
Rather than get angry pity the man. Because if he keeps on behaving like this he will lose you. You don't see him very often. The game could have been taped and played later.
You visiting him should have been seen as a great opportunity to go somewhere nice that you would both enjoy together. Where you could build memories and develop your rapport and enjoy happy times together.
Instead he put his needs first.
And why should you have to sit there in a place you had never visited. Surrounded by men you did not know, shouting out at the screen watching the game, while you sat there as the dutiful girlfriends who had to sit there like a trophy. NO thanks, that is no way to treat a lady.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2013): Remember he has lived his life as a single guy with no responsibilities. He is not going to overnight change because he has a fiance. The rules change slowly. Fighting and throwing a tantrum will just make things worst....you are a woman, use other ways to distract him and to do things with you.
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