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A psychiatrist told me I am not mad, (when I asked him) but is it possible to feel something for an historical person who lived in another era? What is this feeling called?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Crushes, Friends, Health, Teenage, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 August 2015) 3 Answers - (Newest, 30 August 2015)
A female Brazil age 18-21, *uchessOfNowhere writes:

Dear Cupid,

Since I was a child, I was always afraid about become mad.

Two years ago I learned about the existence of a russian man who lived between the second part of XIX century and the start of 10's.

I was enchanted for his behaviour and personality, and I asked to some friends to give-me a lot of rare books that had his name or just something about him (like pictures).

With the time and the reading, that affection that I had for him grew up, and I don't know what it became to be inside my heart.

To tell the truth, I've tried a lot of things to stop thinking about this historical person ( I live with my friends, I drank, I hang out with a lot of guys and I met a psychiatrist, who told me (when I asked) that I am not mad), cause I know that a love between us can't be real and consumated, but I constantly ask myself about what we could been, if we had met in another era.

And the most insane part is that I don't believe in god, souls or things like it.

I'm not sad with it and I don't think that it is prejudicing me on my love chances with other people.

It's just that I see him in everything, but he and I cannot meet.

I really hope you can help me.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2015):

I think you should go for past life regression. You would get to know if u were connected to him in anyway in ur past life :)

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A female reader, Abella United States + , writes (30 August 2015):

Abella agony auntSometimes in our lives we need an escape and a safe haven in our lives where we can retreat from things that are less than satisfactory.

I know this to be true as I did this when a was a very young teen. So fed up with parents screaming at each other at all hours, calling out words I never heard any other adult use, of the adults I knew, at the time.

So I invented an imaginery house, with an old grey haired Uncle who was loosely based on my favourite Uncle except this imaginery Uncle (and me in this fantasy) were living in the 18th century.

In a lovely house in another country I had never visited. I was still a teen. In the fantasy I was able to paint and embroider and walk in the garden and occasionally do school work. It was all very innocent but it helped me go to sleep feeling valued and respected as the Uncle did the good things i wished my parents would do. I can still recall aspects of the home inside.

I did it for a couple of years and it became a great comfort.

I even gave the ''great Uncle'' and imaginery name. A surname I had never seen nor heard of, at the time

Now here is the super uncanny bit.

Back then I had not met the man I eventually met and married. Nor had I met my future motherinlaw.

But later I did marry him.

And about 5 years after I married my mother in law reminisced about what she had been told about her maternal Great grandfather. His surname and his first name was exactly the same names as the names I had given the imaginery

Great Uncle. I just about froze on the spot.

Co-incidences are amazing.

And my real Uncle was important to me as he always spoke to me respectfully, encouraged me to do well, listened to me, discussed my future plans and was never judgemental and never yelled at me. All good things that did not happen in my home, when growing up.

In your case if you are visualizing this person then well and good. It's your well developed imagination.

That's a talent you can harnesss and do well to use.

But if your guy who you visualizes starts to talk back to you, and feel that he is being very compelling and wants you to do something that frightens you, then YES

Do contact the Doctor and ask to speak with a psychiatrist, just to help you deal with the situation.

I suspect that you'd also be a really good ''Ideas'' person. Keep on developing your mind, read a lot. Because good ''ideas'' people are in really short supply.

Read up on Brain-Storming. It's a wonderful activity and businesses pay very good money to ''ideas'' people who can lead ''brain-storming'' sessions with staff and do it the right way.

While you remain fascinated with this man who once trod this earth, and the time period when this man lived then try to search for the customs and practices in that.

Also try to balance up your life too, with some physical exercise, eat healthy food and get enough sleep each night.

If people are ever unkind to you then have as little to do with them as possible.

There are also people who join Quiz shows, and win big prizes, all because they can answer a myriad of questions all on their specific specialist knowledge of the subject.

Universities often uncover and help develop people who become absolute world experts on a particular issue or specialist field of study.

My neighbor did her higher degree on a subject that really had me amazed. It was focused specifically on the reproductive organs of a small endangered creature. She even had to go to another country to see the area where this creature lived. All because everything about this creature had fascinated her since childhood.

Treasure your intellect and develop your knowledge in the areas you passionately seek (to find out more) out information on the subject. You never know where such a passion can lead you to.

Do not be afraid of this skill. With the one proviso I mentioned earlier.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (30 August 2015):

Honeypie agony auntI think you see this man as an ideal (for you) like a crush on a movie-star, author or celebrity. He is however a fantasy character. And one who has been dead for a very long time. It's not uncommon for people to build an ideal or perfect "mate" over a "template" from the past.

You have read about him, dreamed, fantasied about him and thought about him, so while you intellectually KNOW he doesn't exist, he does exits in your imagination. For you he is a VERY vivid character.

It's a cross between an obsession and a deep crush. And escapism. It's like all the women who hope to met a "real" prince and ride off into the sunset.

The fact that he doesn't exits anymore is irrelevant in your fantasy world. And the guy you have INVENTED in your head might not BE anything close to the "real" man this person was. History can be deceiving in many ways.

THAT doesn't make you crazy. It just means you have a pretty active imagination. And maybe... you should put it to use and write a story about him? Maybe not a historical correct one, but a story with him as the main character.

I have some "imaginary friends" (as I call them) that I have written stories about, nothing has been published mind you, but that is OK - half the fun is the creative aspect (for me at least).

I'd say it's time to start living in the real world. But if you have the gift/ability to write a story - why not make him one of your main character? That way maybe you can process your absolute unrealistic "crush" in that form.

Have you talked to your psychiatrist on how to deal with this in the most healthy manner?

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