A
male
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:My mom and I are having problems right now and I don't know why. I will probably graduate at the top of my class in May. No drugs, gangs, or anything I like that. I am managing money for my dad and his partners and collecting nice management fees. I am doing some buying and selling online for decent money, I have bought, restored, and resold a couple of cars for a decent profit. I found a house I thought we could flip, but could not get my mom to sign for me.She got mad because I did not show up to help my aunt move. I had to do some studying. School is easy, but does take a little time. Besides, my aunt moving just does not rate as important to me. Mom got so pissed that she has shut down all of my operations for a month. She said that being on the phone with my dad all night is no good and that I need to slow down. I have a lot of responsibilities. Dad is livid about my obligation to his investors. Why is my mom doing this to me? Dad wants me to come live with him, but with my girl being here and with me wanting to graduate with my class, that's out. But why is my mom being like this? Wouldn't most parents be thrilled to have a kid like me?
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (12 February 2016):
 No, I would be worried sick.
Online trading is illegal for minors in my country, if you were my son and something went pear shaped with your trading, - your disgruntled " investors " would sue ME to the gills , that's for sure ( at the very least ): maybe I should have to stand trial for allowing / covering your "business ", and go tell them that " I did not know anything about it... "
Maybe that's not illegal in USA , and a minor can trade on his own , with his own online trading account ( although this in theory would allow a 12 or 10 y.o. to buy and sell stocks and bonds and whatnot for millions, and that is surprising ) - yet ,anyway I am pretty sure that a minor cannot collect a management fee from an investment fund.
Plus, your mom is probably concerned about the time committment vs. monetary gain. A management fee will be , what, 2% ? (still going by local data, but I don't think that it will be SO enormously different in USA ). Trading requires time, at least if done in a slightly more conscious , sophisticated way than betting on horses. Now, if you manage a portfolio of assets for 10 million, then it's 200.000 in a year- very nice.
But, if what you mean is that your dad gave you 5 or 10000 USD to dabble with , so that you can START learning about finance and feel all grown up and important... ( A friend of mine did just that, but his kid was 19 ) - then you are putting in lots of hours for, basically, peanuts. Might as well use that time to study harder and DESERVE that honour roll , or just .. to live the normal, carefree life of a teenager .
Ditto for buying and selling used cars. I do not see how a minor can sign a valid purchase contract or bill of sale for non essential items. It's against the law. You could make your mom ( custodial parent ) have troubles and annoyances about that.
So yeah, if I were your mom I'd not be thrilled at all with your entrepeneurial activities.
Regardless, supposing you were a whiz kid, a supertalented mini Warren Buffet- you still are a kid. Kids do not establish their own priorities ; their parents' priorities are theirs too. ( Yes it sucks , I know, and I understand you'd be chomping at the bite - but, to solve this, you'll have to become 18 AND move out ) . If your mom asks you to help with something, - you help. And if you don't do it, you must have a darn good reason, i.e. something that your mom can see as a darn good reason.
Actually, having to study could be a darn good reason , I agree ; but probably your mom feels that you have plenty of time to study- all the time that you are using instead for your dubious get-rich-quick -schemes.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (12 February 2016):
 I'm too wondering if what you do with your dad is on the up and up... it sounds pretty shady for a teenager to be doing this kind of work.
Your parents are divorced, did dad's "business" have anything to do with it.
To be honest I had a kid who was honor roll, no drugs, no gangs, no back talk, he worked (legitimately) and played an instrument. NO problem. Went off to college etc.
FAMILY is important (NOT to you as a teen but time will change that)
To be honest if I had a kid that was doing something not legal (a job in a fast food or retail location is legit running money for daddy is not so legit I"m sure) even with good grades and no drugs or gangs I would be very upset if I asked him to help me do something and he said yes then bailed on me.
You are not as mature as you think you are. I Know I was a very myopic teenager.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2016): She is right, you have stopped thinking family is important. She's being a good mum by trying to teach you it is.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2016): If you are looking for evidence that life is fair, don't look to how parents reward or punish their kids.
Parents usually measure you against your own past performance and against what they expect/want from you. How you rate compared to your peers is mostly irrelevant to their thinking.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (11 February 2016):
 You make it sound like it is all about you. Its not.
Okay so no drugs or gangs, great well done. If you finish top in your class that is fantastic. Hopefully it will secure you a good future. It sounds from your post that you are very switched on and intelligent for your age. Very impressive. But it also sounds like you are letting money get to you, it sounds like all that is important to you at the moment is money.
Its good that you are working with your dad and earning, but is everything above board? Why would he get a child to manage his finance? Is it legal? Make sure you are going down a wise path and not a corrupt one.
I understand that you have studying to do, and it is great you make time for that. But maybe your mum and aunt needed your help. You say it is not a priority to you, but helping your family should be. So maybe this has upset your mother and your aunt as they needed a man to help them. I think you should talk to your mum and apologize for not helping. To me it sounds like you have been very selfish and only thinking of yourself.
Your mum has asked you to slow down, probably because she doesn't want to see you over doing things, she is worried about you, she can probably see that the only important thing in your life at the moment is money, she doesn't want to see you turn out like that, so she is putting her foot down, and rightly so, she is your mother and you should respect her. You say you have to stay there because of your class and your girl. What about your mother, the woman who brought you in to this earth? Where are you showing the love for her? Your dad is livid because he is using you to make money, cheap labor no doubt, but your mum wants to try and raise you properly.
The answer to your question is no not all parents would be thrilled to have you as a son, because you may be smart and earning a good income, but you are not helpful or showing that you are grateful. Sounds like you still have a lot of growing up to do.
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A
female
reader, Tottochan  +, writes (11 February 2016):
Hi there,
I think that your mom is undergoing some stress in her workplace, or in some other spheres of her life, and that her frustration is coming out on you.
Maybe you not turning up to help your aunt was an incident which she took to mean that you weren't giving your aunt and her the respect that they should be getting.
Sit down with her, apologise for not going and not telling her in advance. And ask her if there is any way that you could help with all her responsibilities.
Mothers only do what they think is best for their child. Being a single parent is hard. Cut her some slack and just be there for her. Everything will pan out fine.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (11 February 2016):
 I assume Aunt is Mum's sister, Mum may be feeling that she is low on your list of priorities, and that you are selfish.
I hope, seeing as the only reason you live with Mum is due to the close proximity to your girlfriend that you have a decent arrangement where you pay a commercial rate for board and lodging to your mother.
Unfortunately your mother probably loves you, despite the fact everything in your life is more important than she is.
Your mother is correct that your being on the phone to your father all night is not good for you, I am also concerned at what sort of business dealings you have with your father, and his investors, it all sounds a bit shady to me. So what if your father is livid, its a risk he took getting a kid to be responsible for them.
You are not my child so, unlike your mother who cares about you so I can quite easily say you sound like a little prat!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2016): "Why is my mom doing this to me?"Because unfortunately your mother is so self-centered and small-minded that she's interpreting your actions as choosing your father over her so in retaliation she's using you as a weapon to punish him. "But why is my mom being like this?"Because unfortunately too many divorced parents are unable to separate their perceived grievances against their exes from their continuing responsibilities as co-parents, oblivious to the obvious fact that it's always the kid(s) who suffer most. "Wouldn't most parents be thrilled to have a kid like me?"Any GOOD parent would be thrilled to have a kid like you. Unfortunately your mother seems to be petty and vindictive and wants to make everything involving you and your father into a pissing contest.The good news is that you'll only have to put up with her for a little while longer (though I know it seems like an eternity) and you appear to be more than capable of taking care of yourself.I have a couple of over-50 friends who are children of divorce and were caught in the crossfire when one parent tried to turn them against the other. The end result is that when they became adults they basically cut the offending parent out of their lives, maintaining a polite but very distant relationship out of a sense of obligation as well as the desire to keep peace among various siblings and half-siblings and step-siblings. Too bad your mother is too pig-headed to realize that she's only making a future for herself as a sad, lonely old lady.
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